Hot Slut Of The Day!

November 9, 2011 / Posted by:

Slavoj Žižek, Slovenian philosopher, author, researcher, theorist and overall fancy smart cunt who embraces the black cloud of depression when he sees my kind clapping the happy clap over cat videos and shit.

My favorite intellectuals include Khia, Maurice Sendak, Megan Fox, Spaz de la Huerta, and now I can slip Slavoj’s name into that illustrious list thanks to this interview with the Guardian that Dlisted reader Amanda sent to me. Slavoj has the angst of an Emo tween, the golden crustiness of an Andy Rooney rant , the woe-is-me-ness of a Morrissey song and is so tortured and twisted that Daniel Day-Lewis should play him in a Merchant Ivory movie.

Slavoj hates all of us and wishes that he never won the race to his mother’s ovaries. I’m in love. Let me cunt the ways….

What is your earliest memory?
My mother naked. Disgusting.

What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
Indifference to the plights of others.

What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Their sleazy readiness to offer me help when I don’t need or want it.

What was your most embarrassing moment?
Standing naked in front of a woman before making love.

What makes you depressed?
Seeing stupid people happy. (Ed note. Cut to me clapping the happy clap over cat videos and shit)

What is your guiltiest pleasure?
Watching embarrassingly pathetic movies such as The Sound Of Music.

What do you owe your parents?
Nothing, I hope. I didn’t spend a minute bemoaning their death.

To whom would you most like to say sorry, and why?
To my sons, for not being a good enough father.

What does love feel like?
Like a great misfortune, a monstrous parasite, a permanent state of emergency that ruins all small pleasures.

Have you ever said ‘I love you’ and not meant it?
All the time. When I really love someone, I can only show it by making aggressive and bad-taste remarks.

What is the worst job you’ve done?
Teaching. I hate students, they are (as all people) mostly stupid and boring.

How often do you have sex?
It depends what one means by sex. If it’s the usual masturbation with a living partner, I try not to have it at all.

What is the most important lesson life has taught you?
That life is a stupid, meaningless thing that has nothing to teach you.

I bet some shit by Wagner plays whenever he enters a room. I bet seconds after he enters a room, he rips all the paintings off the walls, tears out every page of every book on the shelf and then pounds at the carpet (that’s how he says “hi“). I bet he screams at his shit in the toilet for being a piece of stupid useless shit. I would swoon over Slavoj some more, but somebody just sent me another cat video that I have to clap the happy clap to.

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