George Clooney And Farts Should Get Married
We might have finally found the one thing that can break George Clooney's anti-marriage vow and not surprisingly it's farts! They say a way to George Clooney's heart is through farts and they're right. George Clooney loves farts. George Clooney could kiss a fart. George Clooney could suck a fart out of a fart's fart hole. George Clooney could sit next to a fart in a restaurant booth. George Clooney could marry a fart if a fart knew how to fart out the word "yes." George Clooney could give a fart a key to his Lake Coma villa. Every time a butt farts, a George Clooney laughs. That's how much George Clooney loves farts.
In an interview with Rolling Stone, George shared his love of the other queef and also talked about how he lost his virginity at 16 and once had underage sex with a rope (cut to Jerry Sandusky praying to come back as a rope in his next life). The fart usually comes at the end of the meal so I'll save that quote for last.
On people not seeing The Ides of March: "It's not designed for everybody to see, but I don't give a shit. I don't need to be more famous and we shot it for $12 million, so anything we do is nice."
On having dry sex with a rope: "I believe it was while climbing a rope when I was six or seven years old. I mean, nothing came out, but all the other elements were there. I remember getting to the top of the rope, hanging off the rope, and going, 'Oh, my God, this feels great!'"
On Stacy Keibler's Tweeting: "She can do whatever she wants. I rarely tell anybody what they should be doing with their life."
On his favorite thing on earth, the anus exhale: "We think it's one of the funniest things in the history of mankind. Even the idea of a fart makes me laugh. Saying the word 'fart' makes me laugh. I have iFart on my phone. I have remote whoopee cushions. Farts. To me, there's nothing funnier."
Well, it's nice to know that you can always count on George Clooney for a laugh when he fucks a fart out of you. That really is the worst. Nothing kills the mood like a laugh brought on by a sex fart. We all love to let out a HAHA over a good fart, but please have some decorum and keep your laugh to yourself when your piece lets one go as your genitals do the Dougie on theirs. We're all adults here and adults stay in character after any kind of mid-fuck fart. Don't break the fart wall by laughing, because it's pretty much impossible to recover from that. Grow up, George!
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Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:41pm.
Well you're face is the vilest, you dirty shit sucking shit sucker and cock-up-your-asser!
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I'll see you in court you kid fucker
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
And could this possibly make George seem more gay. It's like he's hiding in plain sight with a glass door on the closet now.
Thanks M.E., the friction is what you are saying from the rope.
Submitted by Dog on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:28pm.
He can probably say the entire alphabet in one belch and thinks that makes him a man's man.
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I can do that. It makes me a man's lady. But not a manboy.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:39pm.
I just farted and all my lights went out! WTF?
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You know, they have electric now, you don't need to use candles anymore.
I loved it when my mom used to fart when we were watching TV and she'd go "VAT?!?!?? IT IZ JUST AIR!!!" like her farts don't stink nice try mom.
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:29pm.
Since I don't have a penis am I wrong to think that, especially at a young age, it's hard to control hard ons? That something as simple as your pants rubbing up against it can give you a stiffy?
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Pretty much! lol, it's actually worse when you 12 or so and you actually start looking at girls as something more than someone to run at with worms in your hand!
The worse was public swimming because you were checking out half naked girls, you never knew when you were going to pop a rod!
There an old joke I think I saw it in a movie, some young kid got a boner in class right when the teacher told him to come up and do something on the chalkboard. He just looked at her and said, "I'll take a zero"
ponchicks - LOL. I think we've all been there before.
Well your face is the vilest, you dirty shit sucking shit sucker and cock-up-your-asser!
*god, this is sexy*
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Dark-sided!
Submitted by yepyepyep on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:38pm.
worse farts are doggie farts YIkes
^^^^^^^^^^^
I suppose you think this is funny! Well, let me tell you something, missy, it isn't funny. No, it isn't and you should be ashamed of yourself! PFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFT!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Since we're telling fart tales....I was at the pharmacy when an old dude in a mobility scooter was just letting them rip, up and down every aisle. Well, I turned a corner and he and his ancient wife are looking at lube and his wife picks up a bottle of KY Sensual for Her lubricating oil and throws it in the basket...
FART THREAD!!!
I love the word poop.
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"Bitch, your pancakes look fine to me."
*swoon* at DWM... such a BITCH! by Jack-n-the-
FAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAART
just goes to show how infested with AIDS all you piggies are, I mean my goodness
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I do not fart. The only thing coming out of my arse is sunshine and rainbows. Happy to say no man has ever evn suspected that of me. I know, it's a problem.
Submitted by IrishFury on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:34pm.
Sucky, you're extra "viler" than normal today
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ur face is extra viler today. I farted when I typed this too. I am smelling my fart now, it smells ok, it smells like me, someone I am familiar with.
AND HE HAD A CONDAM ON
THEN HE REMOVED IT
THEN I BLEW HIM
THESE BROWN SPOTS ON MY TEETH ARE FROM CHOCOLATE BARS I ATE EARLIER TODAY
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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.
I just farted and all my lights went out! WTF?
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:24pm.
Farting in public is embarassing as all hell. Only thing more mortifying is having explosive diarrhea in a public restroom where people are constantly coming in and out.
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I had that once when I was pregnant. For some reason everything I ate gave me awful diarrhea, so I ended up staying in a cubicle for about half an hour as I was just too embarrassed to come out- it was super noisy too. Sorry for the TMI.
worse farts are doggie farts YIkes
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
Farts are funny. So is imagining Stacy Kiebler helicopter-twirling and choking slamming George during sexy times. GO ALL WRASSLIN' DIVA ON ME YOU BITCH! YEAH!!!
I didn't think this guy could get more unappealing, but surprise! I don't ever, ever understand why people tell dumb, nasty things, like that rope story or the age at which you first had sex. Who. Gives. A. Fuck? George's fame has clearly kept him isolated away from decent, sensible people for a very long time at this point... he's lost touch.
Submitted by mike on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:29pm.
Submitted by Night Owl on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:25pm.
I don't understand about the rope, how would you have sex with it?
That puzzles me a bit as well. I can see how a girl could get off on it, but not a guy.
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Exactly! Georgina liked it.
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Dark-sided!
That's it, I'm off men for good.
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RUSTY & CAPPY, vous nous manquez! Soyez gentils et donnez-nous de vos nouvelles!
My boyfriend will fart loudly a few times in bed in the morning and then act surprised that I am not dying to go down on him. As mother said, men are a different breed.
Submitted by El Bastardo on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:33pm.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:29pm.
Since I don't have a penis am I wrong to think that, especially at a young age, it's hard to control hard ons? That something as simple as your pants rubbing up against it can give you a stiffy?
So, climbing up a rope could do the same?
Oh yes. In fact I have a stalk now reading your sexy writing! Around 200 boners/day.
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:D
Dlisted own Courtney Stodden?
Sucky, you're extra "viler" than normal today. Congratualtions.
Farts aren't funny and they're vile. I get all Hyacynth Bucket on that one. Bouquet!
Ba Buttons, why on earth would you do that? I would have broken up with you on the spot but LOL on your description! Are you married now or do you have any kind of a girl/sexual outlet? I hope you do. You're a bit vile too though, stop hanging around with S&F.
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Dark-sided!
My husband wouldn't dare fart in my presence. Gross.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Fishstickfan does NOT fart. Fact.
Migraine - I'm with ya girl!!! I usually give him a nice kick.
Submitted by Whamo on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:19pm.
ROTFL!!
That is like when my mom was in the hospital getting ready to have gall bladder surgery. My family was all chatting and all of a sudden from the next bed comes this huge loud fart. We all froze mid-conversation, looked at each other, and I started giggling, my mom started, then we all started.
But the best part was later. The man who was visiting his wife in the next bed (AKA, the farter) went up to my dad and starting just friendly chit-chatting, sorta "What is your wife in for?" sort of convo. The guy blurts out, "I was in Viet Nam. I was a cop for 25 years. A few years ago I had a heart bypass." My dad says, "So what you are saying is life is too short to worry about a fart." The guy said, "You got it" and they both cracked up laughing.
Horseback riding.
He has remote whoopee cushions? He just redeemed himself for the Keibler Situation with that one.
Submitted by M.E. on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:29pm.
Since I don't have a penis am I wrong to think that, especially at a young age, it's hard to control hard ons? That something as simple as your pants rubbing up against it can give you a stiffy?
So, climbing up a rope could do the same?
Oh yes. In fact I have a stalk now reading your sexy writing! Around 200 boners/day.
Eddie Murphy just quit the Oscars, too. Smooth
Speaking of farts, expect Prince von Asshat to call a press conference as ZaZa Gabor has been rushed back to UCLA med center.
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"How nice, to feel nothing, and still get full credit for being alive."
- Kurt Vonnegut, Slaughterhouse-Five
SuckandFuck: ass to mouth? You're a catch.
I think Clooney means it in a humble way when he says he doesn't need to be more famous.
Sucky - I hope you washed that peen before sticking it in your mouth!
SHIT MOUTH!
I am LMAO that every Dlisted male commented immediately on the fart post.
Mr. Sally's farts have woken me from a dead sleep at times. It's all I can do not to punch him in the face.
Since I don't have a penis am I wrong to think that, especially at a young age, it's hard to control hard ons? That something as simple as your pants rubbing up against it can give you a stiffy?
So, climbing up a rope could do the same?
Submitted by Night Owl on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:25pm.
I don't understand about the rope, how would you have sex with it?
That puzzles me a bit as well. I can see how a girl could get off on it, but not a guy.
Submitted by CokeyBloke on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:22pm.
I find this strangely disappointing.
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It is, because Clooney is portrayed as this beacon of class/klass, style, and intelligence. He, Pitt, and Depp are Americans that are also hedonists with the best of the world. But he likes farts! I laugh at farts, but my dlisted name is enough said. This is all probably some act by Clooney to slum around with us common folk and our even lower humor.
My mother said when she can't sleep she found out I appearently fart in my sleep all night long.
sexxxzzy.-
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I don't like your grandma. She smells like vitamins and pee.
He can probably say the entire alphabet in one belch and thinks that makes him a man's man.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
He's an idiot.
I don't understand about the rope, how would you have sex with it?
I can't speak for all women, but it seems like it is mainly the male species that finds farts funny.
Submitted by suckandfuck on Wed, 11/09/2011 - 1:22pm.
I remember one time when I was getting fucked very roughly up my ass and afterwards was blowing the guy and I let out a huge airy one and I laughed and said sorry and he said "no that's ok, I know I've been jamming air up there" and he was, so it's his fault, did he apologize? no he didn't.
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How ruuuuuuude!
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
How many more times is he going to remind us that he doesn't need to be more famous? He said that mess when Up in the Air came out a few years back when he was asked about doing interviews. It's such a stupid thing to say. I guess it is smart that he is cognizant of that because he keeps dating famewhores and there is only room for one of those in a relationship.
Let's face it - your own farts are really the only farts that are tolerable.
OT - the rope story just made me throw up in my mouth a bit. I don't think I like George Clooney anymore.
"My pug is smarter than your honor student."
SuckandFuck, your fart story makes up for this nonsense. It so humanizes you!
hmmmm ...a rope really??!!! hmmm! some shit you just need to STFU abooooooooot! lol I used to like you George but your whoring drives me crazy you manropewhore!!
Coma Caca!
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