JLo, Kindly Take Five Steps To Your Left
The noun "glamour" and the name "JLo" go together like Skeletor and solid foods, but Glamour Magazine still defied logic by naming her as one of their Women of the Year in some ceremony at Carnegie Hall in NYC last night. They gave her an ugly trophy that looks like a Target logo orgy and asked her to pose with the Claymation goddess who designed the dress she wore last night. WRONG MOVE.
On her own, JLo mugs the camera like the lens is an extra hung Q-tip and she's a Botoxed Siamese cat in heat. But when you put JLo next to the exquisitely crafted Donatella Versace, her face falls into a state of natural demureness. Bitch looks so "made from the earth" next to Donatella. And we all know that natural is out for 2011! So JLo needs to follow the exit signs and let the glorious Candy Kong Muppet take in all the camera clicks.
JLo also needs to hand Donatella that trophy, because glamour IS a woman who is put together with Silly Putty and whose jowls tells us that she mines for diamonds with her mouth on the weekends. Fall back, JLo! Actually, JLo probably did fall back when she let go of Donatella and down came that bobble head toward her.
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I think she wants the whole Bennifer thing back.
Part of me thinks he does too.
Donatella looks like Lady Gaga's beat down old drug addict mother. Those teefs!
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"Get yourself some Visine, girl, because I can see the envy trickling out of your eyes!"
why the hell is Lindsay Lohan hanging out with Jennifer Lopez?
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"I could listen to a babbling brook,
and hear a song that I could understand.
I keep wishing it could be that way.
Because my world would be a Wonderland."
JLo's face looks different. I wonder what she did to it.. or maybe she lost a whole bunch of weight?
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"Bye, Whore" -MK
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 11:46am.
Seriously, I am going to need the number to the doctor that refreshed JLo's face for later. She looks beautiful. HATE that dress though.
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I'm at least 15 years younger than JLo, and my skin has never looked that good. She's a lucky girl to have that beautiful complexion.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
@Dog-
http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_NY-NORl2X3M/SwMCvOd8RfI/AAAAAAAAAHM/Cjc8WvV3zj...
Uh.......NO, but she was less freaky!
Damn you, Donatella! Jlo looks beautiful in the main pic, 1996 sorority girl hair and all.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 11:46am.
Seriously, I am going to need the number to the doctor that refreshed JLo's face for later. She looks beautiful. HATE that dress though.
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I agree but she doesn't look like herself. She looks like Jessica Alba.
JLo looks great but you can tell she's just recently been pinched by plastic surgery. She's starting to look like Jenny from Chinatown.
Last time Raul saw a mouth like Donatella's it had a hook in it.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Donatella and Janice from The Muppets--- separated at birth?
http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_FukaXG1wiOA/SLH_tVrTyJI/AAAAAAAAAPg/VbLR94nUJq...
Submitted by BorgQueen on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 11:45am.
I see JLo is back to dressing sexy now that she got rid of controlling Skeletor. She does look happy. I wonder who she is banging now now her plan to get back with Ben has been foiled by the clever Sidney Bristow.
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Bradley Cooper
http://www.tmz.com/2011/10/16/jennifer-lopez-bradley-cooper-dating/
LOL@JLo posing so seductively in front of those finger smeared doors in thumbnail #8. CLASSY!
I like JLo's dress. The flower is very "Christmas by Martha Stewart."
I think what throws me off the most about Donatella's face is her lack of eyebrownz.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Was Donatella ever hot???
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Donatella would look a hundred times better with dark hair.
Seriously, I am going to need the number to the doctor that refreshed JLo's face for later. She looks beautiful. HATE that dress though.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
I wonder how Donatella truly feels when she stands next to women like JLo.
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www.dungeonhordes.com
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I'm surprised MK said nothing about Donatella's eyebrow situation. Though with a mug and a mop like those, non-existent eyebrows are not really a big concern.
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"Most people are average, neither black nor white. They're gray. A dirty shade of gray." - Dmitri Shostakovich
Jello is very lucky to be standing next to Frying-Pan-to-the-Face over there. She looks young and fresh and pretty. Her nude gown is hideous, but she looks very pretty everywhere else.
Donatella is starting to look like the missing link.
Evil fucking twat. I wonder how much work she's had done; looks like she can barely move her face in #4
I see JLo is back to dressing sexy now that she got rid of controlling Skeletor. She does look happy. I wonder who she is banging now now her plan to get back with Ben has been foiled by the clever Sidney Bristow.
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51+16 = LOVE
Woman of the year for doing what exactly?
I wish I had donatella in all photos of me.