Beyonce's Baby Will Bathe In Bling
Kelly Rowland was almost deported back down to the basement after she dropped the gender of the unborn wig messiah during a red carpet interview, and so she knew she had to diffuse the rage in Beyonce's eyes with something sparkly. That's where this mess of a bedazzled baby bathtub comes in. ABC News heard that Kelly spent $5,200 on a baby-sized porcelain tub from designer Lori Gardner and gave it to Beyonce as a baby shower gift. The Liberace Jr. special takes 2 months and 44,928 Swarovski crystals to make. It weighs more than 3,000 pounds.
Jay-Z and Beyonce are allegedly building a 2,200 square foot nursery in their Tribeca apartment and so this 1% of bathtubs is merely just a dim twinkle on the mound of tacky extravaganza their baby will sit on top of. Still, some of the old members of Destiny's Child are cursing life for not falling out of Beyonce's vagina as they scrub their pits in a Rubbermaid trash can full of hose water in their backyards (been there!).
I was going to write that at least those crystals will give Beyonce's au pair something shiny to focus on when her baby butt burps a tub turd, but then I remembered that the golden child of infinite light is probably going to shit Swarovski crystals anyway.
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Submitted by Darknight on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:14pm.
Not a surprise coming from these two. The price of Bey's engagement ring is $5 million. It's 18-carat engagement ring. These people suck.
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Whoa. I'm looking at my rather nice half carat ring and trying to imagine it 36 times bigger. My finger would have to do push-ups to support that weight.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
5,200 clams for a sparkly tub is the same as us minions giving a $20 gift certificate as a sprog prezzie.
*note* I'm actually v wealthy but I'm trying to mingle and connect with the masses.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:10pm.
http://www.thediamondbathtub.com/
She makes big tubs too.
^^^^^^^^^^^
No prices.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:12pm.
Ec, keep your sprinkles on, damn. I was just sayin'. He is a googly-eyed, MF.
*whispers* It's walleyed! *licks frosting and ruuuuuns*
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*looks around* I wasn't mad or being a bitch. If ya thought so, I apologize.
Submitted by fishsticksfan on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:00pm.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:57pm.
Speaking of babies: Hugh Grant named his daughter Tinglan Hong -- a Chinese name that translates to Happy Accident.
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Awwww....That's cute. And much nicer than Oops Adaisy Baby. hehe
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I named mine Dumpster Baby and haven't seen it since!
ba-buttons is taking bets - going odds are that within two years the old tax man will be wondering where his cut of 'Jay Jay' and 'Bey's' grotesque wealth has been all these years.
Sorry Beyonce, the IRS does not accept tacky, bejewelled bathtubs, used stripper costumes or even your miraculous naturally blonde hair as payment for back taxes.
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"...Foster may have cracked under the pressures of being the world's leading Gordon Ramsay-lookalike-sex-dwarf..."
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:06pm.
Is it freaking baby day on Dlisted?! I am depressed enough with everyone of my close female friends currently preggo - I come here for a break!
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Thankfully for me, most of my friends with kids got all of their baby making done in high school.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
That baby is gonna end up like the protagonist in The Coldest Winter Ever.
"I know that I'm going to be a target, but I'm never going to be a victim". - Justin Bieber
Not a surprise coming from these two. The price of Bey's engagement ring is $5 million. It's 18-carat engagement ring. These people suck.
We all know that tub will never be used because the nanny will be bathing that kid in the bathroom sink in the servant's quarters.
I've observed that most girls look like their dads, so...
...it's all good because baby will have her first nose job shortly after birth. it's like cleft palate surgery except with more money and stupid.
I still can't get over the idiot at ABC News. "Over 3000 pounds.". So basically what a Prius weighs. I supposed it requires 1 or 2 cranes to hoist it through the second floor window (Here's your little pink tub, Baby!)
Ec, keep your sprinkles on, damn. I was just sayin'. He is a googly-eyed, MF.
*whispers* It's walleyed! *licks frosting and ruuuuuns*
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:06pm.
And another thing - I hope that kid is DARK!
So does Beyonce otherwise...she gotta lotta esplaining tooo doooo!
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:06pm.
And another thing - I hope that kid is DARK!
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Dark-Sided?
I fear this baby will have a case of the "Bobbi Kristina" aka the "Rumer Willis". Pretty mom, unfortunate looking daughter.
Is that picture actually what the tub looks like? It looks... cheap.
I guess it'll make a nice 5,000 dollar toy chest when the kid outgrows it in a year or two.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Hmmmm all of this disgusting display of wealth may lead to a bad case of the entitlements. Do any of you think we're seeing the next batch of Lilo's coming? They are gonna make some interesting posting in about 15 years. I can only imagine the fuckery the Jolie-Pitts will offer up!
http://www.thediamondbathtub.com/
She makes big tubs too.
Well, that's disgusting.
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Devil's advocate.
I hope the next time DMX stops by for a hand-out, he doesn't mistake that tub for a pissoir. You know he will, too.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
This crap is what happens when people have to much money.
stupid, stupid, stupid. That is all I can come up with.
So far, no one has one-upped Diddy in complete crassness. He gave his 16 year old son a $450,000 Maybach.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
LEAVE KELLY ALOOOOONE!! It took her months of saving change from JayZ's couch to buy that.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:05pm.
Proof once again that money DOES NOT equal class!
^^^^^^^^^
COPYCAT!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Is it freaking baby day on Dlisted?! I am depressed enough with everyone of my close female friends currently preggo - I come here for a break!
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
And another thing - I hope that kid is DARK!
Proof once again that money DOES NOT equal class!
So it seems Kelly has pacified the Dirty Rice army with this offering to The Creole. May her spawn rise up and lighten this dark, dark world. Oh, and her skin, cause B won't be having any non-caramel-assed kids.
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:00pm.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:56pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:55pm.
It's hard for him NOT to be all googly eyed!
^^^^^^^^^^^
Are you making fun of his bug-eyed self???
R.E.P.O.R.T.E.D.
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NARC!
Submitted by Mama Bear on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:54pm.
I'm so tired of this hip hop royalty ghetto fabulous bling. Please, in the name of Brian Setzer can we resurrect a trend to replace this one.
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Maybe their kids will go onto to define a new generation of minimalists, less is more, more is tacky, who are embarrassed by their parents' extravagance?
Submitted by urmomma on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 1:00pm.
EC, he is walleyed. Walleyed.
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All the same to me- Walleyed, cockeyed, googly-eyed. He's got fucked up eyes.
That baby girl is going to need all the help she can get...you just know that she's going to be ugly like her father...
That is totally not tacky in the worst economy since the Depression. But if you've got the $$$, who am I to judge...
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Momus the Sarcastic on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:57pm.
Speaking of babies: Hugh Grant named his daughter Tinglan Hong -- a Chinese name that translates to Happy Accident.
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Awwww....That's cute. And much nicer than Oops Adaisy Baby. hehe
EC, he is walleyed. Walleyed.
and LMAO at Texndoc....that was funny, but not very nice. I take my shoes off to add, it is only akward a restaurants and grocery stores.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:56pm.
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:55pm.
It's hard for him NOT to be all googly eyed!
^^^^^^^^^^^
Are you making fun of his bug-eyed self???
R.E.P.O.R.T.E.D.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
This is so wrong! That nursery will be at least quadruple the size of Aunt Solange's basement crib!
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
Speaking of babies: Hugh Grant named his daughter Tinglan Hong -- a Chinese name that translates to Happy Accident.
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“It does not do to leave a live dragon out of your calculations, if you live near him.” J.R.R. Tolkien.
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Submitted by cake coke and cock on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:53pm.
Gotta love how the marketing team thought a white baby would ever come near this.
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You KNOW the cheap ass version is going to show up at someone's baby shower soon and they're going to be all proud and shit; 'it's just like Beyonce's!!!'. Plastic baby tub? Check. Self-sticking crystals from Hobby Lobby; '50 for $1.99!'? Check.
Bling, tacky bullshit for easily distracted people.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
bebehs gonna have mink diapers. precious cargo in 'em
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Tacky ghetto mess. Won't be surprised if the baby has a diamond stud and a gold tooth by 12 months.
Submitted by CheeryBitch on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:50pm.
Wow. Methinks those Wall St. occupiers should make their way to Tribeca (and Suri Cruise's closet). This is some tacky, tacky, tacky shit.
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OCCUPY BEYONCE!! lololo
A baby sized porcelain crystal studded tub weighs more than 3000 pounds? Baby sized. OK. So how do you get it to the nursery? What crappy journalism. (Not you MK not you. I know you're just repeating and we know how you are at math).
Submitted by Dog on Tue, 11/08/2011 - 12:55pm.
It's hard for him NOT to be all googly eyed!
Proving once again that money in no way gives you class or style. But damn, if it's really a girl, Jay-Z will spoil that kid ROTTEN! He looks like that type. He'll be all googly-eyed and sh*t.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
I'm so tired of this hip hop royalty ghetto fabulous bling. Please, in the name of Brian Setzer can we resurrect a trend to replace this one.
Gotta love how the marketing team thought a white baby would ever come near this.
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Don't make me quote Nabokov at you. I'll do it. I promise.