What A Shocking Development: LiLo Spends Less Than 5 Hours In Jail

Lindsay Lohan can’t get into a movie after-party without promising the bouncer a sloppy handjob and a nut tickle behind the dumpster in the alleyway of the bar, but she still gets VIP treatment at the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, CA. Leave it to the jail house to treat LiLo like that huge bright shining A-list criminal that she truly is. LiLo turned herself into jail at around 9pm last night to serve the 30-day sentence Judge Stephanie threw at her for violating her probation, and White Oprah has spent more time suffering through the whiskey shits on a toilet in the bathroom of a T.G.I. Friday’s than her main money-making whore spent in jail last night.

People reports that LiLo checked in at 8:48pm and was checked out 1:30am. The Sheriff only said, “All I can tell you is that she was already released.”

Well, all I can tell you is that LiLo sashayed into the jail house, double air kissed all of her friends, made her way to the cell suite that is named after her, signed the wall of fame in there, answered a few responses from her personal ad on Meet-An-Inmate.com, and just when she was about to reflect on the hood rat stuff that put her in there, she found an Adderall that she must’ve dropped the last time she was in there. She crushed it up and snorted it off the toilet.

I really hope Tommy Lee Jones was waiting for LiLo as she left jail, because how oh how is she going to readjust to life on the outside?!