When "Move That Cone, I'm Lindsay Lohan!" Doesn't Work The Way It Used To
Lindsay Lohan might be able to get a corner booth at the IHOP on Santa Monica at 3am on a weekday and she might be able to get the middle table at the methadone clinic cafeteria, but her days of dropping her name to get into A-list parties jumped into the grave with her career a long time ago. Bitch still thinks she's a glittering star in the universe that is Hollywood when the fact is that she's a dusty glow-in-the-dark ceiling star that fell to the carpet and no longer glows in the dark. But ho doesn't know that, because Page Six says that she showed up to the party for J. Edgar at the Roosevelt Hotel on Thursday night and the dude at the door hit her with a giant DEEEEEE-NIEEEEEED at first. The line of people behind her probably broke the record for the most THIS BITCH head shakes in one place at the same time.
LiLo is eternally the little cokey who could, because the source says not having an ounce of dignity paid off and she was able to beg her way in. The source went on to say this shit:
“Lindsay was arguing with the security to let her in, dropping every celebrity’s name to get in. She could be heard saying, ‘I have to go and see Leo.’Eventually they let her in, but she made everybody uncomfortable. She was aggressive and random, storming around. She tried to get to Leo, but he was surrounded by his security and a posse of his friends.
Clint and Leo and Dustin Lance Black were talking, and Lindsay sent one of her aides over, demanding to get a photo with them, but security shooed them away.”
LiLo's rep is kept on a steady diet of delusion-tinis by White Oprah, so when asked for a comment they said, “She did not crash, she was invited by a guest who attended the event. I am not aware of her asking for photos with Leo or Clint. She was never asked to leave.”
My first thought about LiLo crashing a party and trying to scoot up to Leonardo DiCatchAHo was that the whole thing is pathetic wrapped in sad wrapped in tragic wrapped in another thick layer of pathetic, but then I really thought about. The two whiskeys I drank last night I paid for using cash from my own wallet. The dozens of whiskeys LiLo probably shoved down her booze hole came from an open bar and I bet you she snatched a few of the bartender's tips before making her way out. So being a shameless mess pays off sometimes.
Note to Hollywood: If you want to keep LiLo out of your parties, have a cash bar only. Bitch is allergic to those.
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Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 9:19pm.
Do you people ever get laid or
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not until next May or June. It`s gonna be like getting my cherry popped again. So if you ever see me run out of here midsentence, you know the dick is home...lol
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 9:18pm.
I noticed that Jana had deleted her account.
I never had any contact with Jana offsite. Does anyone know what happened? Is she still here but under a new name? Anyone got any info?
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Sorry if I'm a hardcore slunt tonight (not with you) with this post, but, who gives a rat's/roach's/slug's ass?? She's probably onto her next live married victim while juggling med internship, six dogs and fending off Canadian aerial bombardment from national support for Libya's uprising. Right. This must be it.
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"Tear up the Introduction! I don't hear enough rips!! This is a battle! Words and ideas CAN change the world. Poetry, Beauty, Romance, Love - these, we stay alive for." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VUV2Yl8gsI&feature=related -Dead Poets So
Just deleted my facebook link, dont mind me....
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 9:19pm.
Do you people ever get laid or
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LOL Did you have to leave mid sentence for a fuck? :)
I m still looking, Becky. Went to one of the kill-shelters, and you know, you see all the animals and know that the clock is ticking and you want to take them all. Once i find one that i think is a fit, then I ll bring the kids along. For whatever reason I always had better luck with female cats. The males were weirdos. In Germany I got my last cat by going to the shelter and saying" Give me the oldest one that nobody wants. My Pooky was the sweetest cat you can imagine. She was 13 when i got her, but I had her for another 2.5 years.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Hey Cappy! {{hugs}}
Do you people ever get laid or
Interestingly, late last night (my time), I was scrolling back through some old threads and in between Allessandra's and Grounder's repostings I noticed that Jana had deleted her account.
I never had any contact with Jana offsite. Does anyone know what happened? Is she still here but under a new name? Anyone got any info?
Edited for typo - didn't repost for laughs!
It's 5 o'clock somewhere, my dear Becky!! And Cappy is passing out sake shots - I love sake!!
UBF - sending you lots of good kitteh vibes. I got very lucky with my cats, whom I got from the SPCA in Austin. Turned out they are total cuddle cats. I had a cat before that who was totally anticuddle and was a vicious little thing, but I loved her very much anyway.
@UBF
I love fat cats. You'll need one that's used to children. Do you take the kids with you to shelters, or are you still at the online search stage?
Submitted by becky n sydney on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 8:54pm.
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So thats wehere ya bitches at, found ya!!
I also added things, didnt just repost. Unce brain fart you are so much more calm in german, wonder why that is.
Also becky cant believe I reposted my fb profile for you to see again, pffffff.
and repsoting, to be annoying
LaChay, you do not need to be dranking while all this shitstorm trifecta of Courtney, Trashian and Beibaby is going on. No. Best to be lucid to weather the fallout of the upcoming delusional PR releases. But, you do what you want. *nudges a shot of sake to you, lol*
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"Tear up the Introduction! I don't hear enough rips!! This is a battle! Words and ideas CAN change the world. Poetry, Beauty, Romance, Love - these, we stay alive for." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VUV2Yl8gsI&feature=related -Dead Poets So
We still haven`t gotten a new cat. Although i m all over craigslist and the Shelter`s website every day, i m still hesitant.
What i need is a cat that LOVES to snuggle. One that`s a bit older. Can`t do kittens. They drive me crazy.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
@LaChaylo
It's Monday. :(
I wish I were drinking too, but it's a bit early for that.
*reposted to annoy Bjork*
I wish I were drinking - people from work kept bugging me today for stupid ass shit, so I'm forced to think about work. Damn, I hate those bitches.
But other than that, it's Sunday and my big ol' cat is cuddled next to me at my computer. What's sweeter than that?
How are you doing, Becky?
UBF, stay over here! People can be cray cray!!
I posted that post about reposting first!
Hello ladies - lovely to see you both! How's your Sunday evening going? :)
Hi, Becky! I'm responding, but not reposting, lol!
Who knew snake eggs bounced?! Snakes, as long as their not poisonous, don't scare me.
But roaches, OMG, roaches, waterbugs, all those nasty creatures in the roach family are evil, pure evil from the depths of hell!!
Lol, Becky, it might help!
I am giving up over there, i feel like i m talking to Gretchen.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
That's right, I share and everyone wanders off!
Maybe I should repost to attract attention?
Snake tales: As kids away on summer vacay we were always bored. My sisters and I found some snake eggs and quickly discovered that snake eggs bounced. We organised a fun impromptu game of ping pong on the kitchen table, made more hilarious by the elliptical shape of the eggs. We were crying with laughter. (Our mother didn't see the humour.)
Admit that Hitler reposted, too!
Mickey is probably slutting it up somewhere on another thread.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 8:24pm.
Where is Mickey Holland, that Dutch Slut??
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She's corn holing Modern Talking.
Athens, I liked the music that was used in the intro for Secret Combination
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
i wanna see Alecuntra next year in Eurovision,the song will be Mein Kunt of course
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 8:04pm.
Becky, we only drink instant coffee. Does that work too?
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Maybe pour a cup of weak coffee around the plants to kill the slug eggs in the soil?
Where is Mickey Holland, that Dutch Slut??
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Greece will win when it goes up against Italy.
bjork,we were robbed that year too
I'm so glad that the beauty of Michalis is now on this thread, a thread filled with slugs, wolf spiders, and big-ass roaches.
Man, Greece is breaking my heart with their Eurovision entries. Just say the password, man.
bjork you slut Michalis killed that shit
http://youtu.be/ZSF12QndMrg
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 7:48pm.
Awwww… That is the saddest thing I've ever read. Kids are so mean!
The spirit of fuck you should never be underestimated. ~hotpocket 10/23/11
*trips; grumbles into thread*
"LiLo is eternally the little cokey who could, because the source says not having an ounce of dignity paid off and she was able to beg her way in." lmao Mk
If we put a little pic of an A-list celeb, a few crack rocks or a line of coke in a roach motel, we could essentially get our own pictorial/writup to sell, you guys, you know that, right?
Also, the power has been going out in my area multiple times tonight. Just eerie. Wtf
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"Tear up the Introduction! I don't hear enough rips!! This is a battle! Words and ideas CAN change the world. Poetry, Beauty, Romance, Love - these, we stay alive for." http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-VUV2Yl8gsI&feature=related -Dead Poets So
Becky, we only drink instant coffee. Does that work too?
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Lol UBF! Cuntanese, I love it!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Caffeine kills slugs and snails. Empty your old coffee grounds out on your seedlings or pot plants to keep the little buggers away.
Precious, they never did. I was afraid they would do that because one of them smashed one on another boy when the caterpillar fell inside his shirt. I was always the one they would chase with spiders and other bugs they put on sticks. They hold them close to my face as I cried.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by precociousmagpie on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 7:20pm.
We had a terrible slug problem on the front lawn when I was a kid, so my siblings and I were always coming up with savage torture methods. We burned them. We doused them with bleach. We poured everything we could find on those slugs to try to kill them. Draino, Lysol, oven cleaner, Tabasco sauce. The slugs kept coming. (They actually cracked the sidewalk that led to the front stoop!)
One night my brother noticed that their slug goo glowed in the dark, so he went and got his Boy Scout knife and cut the slugs in half. Then we all drew on the sidewalk with the slug goo, and it sparkled for days, until it finally rained.
I hate slugs.
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Ha, ha, ha!!! Great story.
Salt is their killer.
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 7:35pm.
I didn't kill them! My brother is the serial killer! (He would make a good one, come to think of it--he's kind of sadistic, and hates pets.)
Why would your cousin smash your face with a caterpillar??
One of the reasons I'm so afraid of spiders is my brother used to put them on me. Then he'd tell me there was a spider on me, but he wouldn't tell me where.
Or he'd *pretend* there was a spider on me, and laugh while I jumped around, trying to swat it off.
You know, he's kind of an asshole, when I think about it.
The spirit of fuck you should never be underestimated. ~hotpocket 10/23/11
It's so weird to me that Lindsay NEVER has roots. I dye my hair to a lighter shade of blonde, and My roots start to show after a week to a week & 1/2. She must bleach her hair every time she washes it. No wonder it looks like straw.
And all your bug talk in here freaks me out! Ishh. That is the ONLY good thing about living in Minnesota, the minus zero temps kill everything off.
Little Rascal, I've always thought that places like Iceland, and Sweden are probably free of most bugs.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Precious, OMG! How come you're not a serial killer? JK
I could only watch if kids are cutting them open etc. I only touched a hairy caterpillar and only for a second because I was afraid that my cousins would take it and try to smash it in my face.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 6:18pm.
Hmmmmm.... *considers moving to Europe.*
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Not so fast. I lived in Italy for 9 months, and an apartment I was renting was crawling with roaches.
But in all my years living in St.Petersburg, Russia, I've never seen one cockroach. Maybe it's too cold for them, hahahaha
Submitted by TequilaTax on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 7:06pm.
LOVE that place. I'm all about those boozy milkshakes and the homemade pop tarts are the bomb diggity. Belga has fantastic food too, esp the fries with garlic mayo. The Ugly Mug and Molly Malones are good for a few cheap beers and watching the Caps games.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by WinterOwl22 on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 6:43pm.
We had a terrible slug problem on the front lawn when I was a kid, so my siblings and I were always coming up with savage torture methods. We burned them. We doused them with bleach. We poured everything we could find on those slugs to try to kill them. Draino, Lysol, oven cleaner, Tabasco sauce. The slugs kept coming. (They actually cracked the sidewalk that led to the front stoop!)
One night my brother noticed that their slug goo glowed in the dark, so he went and got his Boy Scout knife and cut the slugs in half. Then we all drew on the sidewalk with the slug goo, and it sparkled for days, until it finally rained.
I hate slugs.
The spirit of fuck you should never be underestimated. ~hotpocket 10/23/11
Slugs freak me out but snails are super cute.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 6:58pm
If you know of Eastern Market, then you might have already visited Ted's Bulletin? It's about 2 door away from the 7 Eleven. I fell in love with the place because they play old movies on old fashion televisions and the drinks are to die for. Their desserts (home made pop tarts are the bomb) are soooo good.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by TequilaTax on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 6:53pm.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 6:30pm
You in my hometown. Have you visted the Adams Morgan area yet? My fave joint is Madam's Organ. Good food and music most nights.
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Definitely...Madams Organ (gotta love the name) is one of my favorite bars as well. The fried chicken is to die for *drools*. AdMo is great in the middle of the week, before it turns into a complete mess on the weekends with cops arresting someone every two feet. Tryst is a great spot for coffee, too.
My favorite neighborhood in DC is probably Eastern Market. lots of nice low-key bars and a cool vibe. I hear H Street is pretty cool as well but that's kind of hard to get to.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by SANS FARDS on Sun, 11/06/2011 - 6:30pm
You in my hometown. Have you visted the Adams Morgan area yet? My fave joint is Madam's Organ. Good food and music most nights.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K