Goodnight, Sweet Grouchy Ass Prince
I don't know how you fly your eyebrows at half-staff, but we should all find a way, because an iconic pair attached to a cranky poet and legendary American curmudgeon has gone off to the great big messy office in the sky where all the mixed nuts are whole and all the water is slutty. Andy Rooney's angel wing brows have spread and he has flown up to the afterworld, while complaining the entire way, at the age of 92. Andy died in a NYC hospital last night from complications following a minor surgery. Andy semi-retired 6 weeks ago after giving his 1,097th and final verbal bitch slap to America on 60 Minutes.
As a cranky bitch who can't wait until I truly have no more fucks to give, this wraps the sads around my heart. One of my rituals every Sunday before Amazing Race was to watch Andy complain about some shit I didn't even know was possible for people to complain about. I mean, he moaned and bitched about coins! Sometimes Andy was right. Sometimes Andy was wrong. Sometimes Andy said some crazy shit. Sometimes Andy made sense. But throughout all of that Andy continued to have no spare fucks to give about what you thought about his complaining. For that, I thank Andy! And now I leave you with a few quotes from one of the great American grouches:
"I didn't get old on purpose, it just happened. If you're lucky, it could happen to you."
"The average dog is a nicer person than the average person."
"Computers make it easier to do a lot of things, but most of the things they make it easier to do don't need to be done."
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
Rest in peace, Andy. We'll pour one out for you today and then wave our fists while complaining about the mess we made.
via CBS News
• 
Well America still needs to bitch slapped some more, so someone is needed to step forward and try to fill Andy's shoes. I'd suggest Graham Norton, but he's English. We need someone from the States.
Rip Andy.
(FYI: Andy has chained and padlocked the Pearly Gates. So you A-holes will have to find another place to camp for the rest of eternity. Have a 'Nice' Day.)
"But throughout all of that Andy continued to have no spare fucks to give about what you thought about his complaining."--and this is exactly why he will be missed.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
lucky old dead grouchy fuck
xoxox
The war isn't working.
" Your mind will answer most questions if you learn to relax and wait for the answer"..William S. Burroughs
@vegaschick, I remember my parents watching 60 minutes religiously every Sunday night, and that I found AR commentary entertaining. My sister and I used to hate the tick tick tick tick tick because that meant boring times on tv. Nothing we said got our dad to
would like to chime in, my sis and i remember that as well, the tick tick meaning :boring grown up stuff on tv" good memories...... as i became an adult in my 30s and watched 60 min now and then i enjoyed the old coot. rip!
Why isn't MK America's official obit writer? Now there's something to complain about.
Aw, Andy reminds me of being a kid. I thought he was a real hoot back then. RIP.
I don't know how you fly your eyebrows at half-staff, but we should all find a way
*********************************
Oh, Lordy. LMAO!
"Submitted by Manimal5 on Sat, 11/05/2011 - 2:05pm.
And of course on Sunday night after the tick...tick...tick It was only then that I realized after completely fucking off the whole weekend that I had a 200 word composition to write that was due the next day.
It usually started like this:
The Aztecs were very,very,very,very,very, smart people.
OK...ten words...only 190 to go!"
Omg, Manimal...are you me?!
And Poopele, does that mean you're Irish? Jus sayin....
Joel McHale will be inconsolable.
The only grouchy dude I ever liked.
RIP Andy
----------------------------------------------
Submitted by Tigerlilly on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 6:49pm.
Women make me sick. There I said it.
Submitted by Team Valtrex on Tue, 06/21/2011 - 6:53pm.
Have you tried them cooked?
R.I.P. Andy.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
Lmao Precious!
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
What a fitting tribute MK!
Submitted by jackie on Sat, 11/05/2011 - 10:33am.
He seems too grouchy to go to heaven. Like his complaining and incessant observations of little things would piss God off and he'd cast him out after about 2 days.
-----------------------------------------------
Ha~ This cloud's too fluffy! The Angel halos are blinding my eyes and keep me up at night! What's with this harp that's always playing? I need to speak to the Manager!
RIP Andy~
And of course on Sunday night after the tick...tick...tick It was only then that I realized after completely fucking off the whole weekend that I had a 200 word composition to write that was due the next day.
It usually started like this:
The Aztecs were very,very,very,very,very, smart people.
OK...ten words...only 190 to go!
RIP Andy, not many people can claim a career like yours!
Submitted by vegaschick on Sat, 11/05/2011 - 12:28pm.
Sweet write-up, MK. Classy as always.
For me the tick-tick-tick of 60 Minutes to this day gives me stomach pains because as a kid my parents always watched it while for me it signaled that the weekend was over and I had to head back to school the next day. Heh heh. Anyone else have that experience?
Yes...hated the ticking watch! It meant that it was Sunday night and school the next day...I thought I was the only one who felt that way! LOL!
I have several questions, but my main one is: Will his coarse, gnarly eyebrows continue to grow?
The spirit of fuck you should never be underestimated. ~hotpocket 10/23/11
@vegaschick, I remember my parents watching 60 minutes religiously every Sunday night, and that I found AR commentary entertaining. My sister and I used to hate the tick tick tick tick tick because that meant boring times on tv. Nothing we said got our dad to change the channel.
I'll yell his name tonight during fisting. I think he woulda liked that ....
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-
As useless as a saggy pair of tits
I never watched 60 Minutes.
Regardless. RIP Mr. Rooney.
Nite Mr. Rooney! Used to love listening to your commentaries and I used to agree with most of them. Thanks for everything.
"If you smile when no one else is around, you really mean it."
Andy Rooney
I also bought his book back in the '80s....Love me some ARoo!! R.I.P. Mr. Rooney.
***************************************
Why some turds evade the whirlpool...god only knows. They are survivors. The fittest.
- Hysteria
Sweet write-up, MK. Classy as always.
For me the tick-tick-tick of 60 Minutes to this day gives me stomach pains because as a kid my parents always watched it while for me it signaled that the weekend was over and I had to head back to school the next day. Heh heh. Anyone else have that experience?
************************************************
OMG, I fucking HATED that goddamned ticking clock. It used to creep me out. My parents watched 60 minutes religiously during my childhood and even as a kid Andy was the only one I liked. I could always respect anyone so willing to embrace their inner cunt and not give a fuck.
R.I.P. Andy:)
I think, therefore I brow........
RIP I'm gonna miss him...today I will eat caramels and drink a hot cup of Ovaltine in his honor. Here's another quote I found that reminds me why I liked him so much:
Men wake up aroused in the morning. We can't help it. We just wake up and we want you. And the women are thinking, "How can he want me the way I look in the morning?" It's because we can't see you. We have no blood anywhere near our optic nerve.”
Your tribute made me laugh out loud MK. You have such a way with words. RIP Andy.
Rooney? Irish name. They are always bitchin' about everything.
This makes me soooooo sad. :(
***********************************************
We can't go on just running away
If we stay any longer, we will surely never get away
Anything you want - we can make it happen
Stand up and turn around, never let them shoot us down
Never - never
christine the hoff,
It's true! When he announced his retirement last month, I knew he would die very, very soon. I mean, his wife has already passed away and then he was finally forced out of his true passion which was his work? No reason to go on at that point, I think. He was so fortunate to be able to live so long and work up until the end, though. Pretty ideal.
He lived a long life doing what he loved to do. How many can say that?
My Dad loved that old coot.
RIP Andy
Aw man. I'll miss the grouchy ol' curmudgeon. Hope he's bitching up a storm in heaven.
_______________________________________________
I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Andy could do a commentary on ANYTHING, just like our MK. Wait, was Andy the 'original' MK? Sad news to wake up to this morning. Even sadder that he didn't really get to enjoy his retirement. But he said he wanted to work up until he died, which I guess he did. RIP Andy Rooney. As someone else said, it's the end of an era.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I will miss his rants. He was the Master of Rant. One could only hope to come close to his greatness at it. RIP Andy Rooney.
Submitted by cocoebert on Sat, 11/05/2011 - 10:16am.
For me the tick-tick-tick of 60 Minutes to this day gives me stomach pains because as a kid my parents always watched it while for me it signaled that the weekend was over and I had to head back to school the next day. Heh heh. Anyone else have that experience?
-----------
Yes. The music from Masterpiece Theater has the same Pavlovian effect on me.
He seems too grouchy to go to heaven. Like his complaining and incessant observations of little things would piss God off and he'd cast him out after about 2 days.
RIP to a very talented, good, smart man. I have been a fan for a long time.
I bought his book "A Few Minutes With Andy Rooney" back in 1981. I was a year out of college.
http://www.amazon.com/Few-Minutes-Andy-Rooney/dp/0020102011
Submitted by cocoebert on Sat, 11/05/2011 - 10:16am.
Sweet write-up, MK. Classy as always.
For me the tick-tick-tick of 60 Minutes to this day gives me stomach pains because as a kid my parents always watched it while for me it signaled that the weekend was over and I had to head back to school the next day. Heh heh. Anyone else have that experience?
**************************************************
Yes! That ticking sound, mingled with the lingering aroma of my mother's Sunday dinner, always reminded me that it was time to quit procrastinating and get my homework done, wash my hair, and have a bath in preparation for school the next day.
__________________________________________________
"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
I mean, he moaned and bitched about coins! Sometimes Andy was right. Sometimes Andy was wrong. Sometimes Andy said some crazy shit. Sometimes Andy made sense. But throughout all of that Andy continued to have no spare fucks to give about what you thought about his complaining. For that, I thank Andy!
_________________
THIS! MK, I loved your words.
I will miss your brows, RIP.
*********************
The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Sweet write-up, MK. Classy as always.
For me the tick-tick-tick of 60 Minutes to this day gives me stomach pains because as a kid my parents always watched it while for me it signaled that the weekend was over and I had to head back to school the next day. Heh heh. Anyone else have that experience?
Thank you.
Aw, truly sad. :( RIP you old bushy-eyebrowed curmudgeon, I will miss you!
"Death is a distant rumor to the young."
I like this quote. I'll remember it.
RIP Andy.
*______________________________________*
"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
Rooney would read these and probably say it's nice that people are giving him such nice testimonials but c'mon, they don't know him that well. Then he'd say "Don't you hate that?"
Andy should mos def become a Dlisted patron saint. He was a master at what a lot of us try to do on the regular.
Awwww.. I enjoyed his rants. Thanks, Andy! All the good ones are biting the dust!
when that incompotent cunt who is the head of the business department gets on my ass again, about being negative and complaining, I'll remind her about what a miserable bitch, she is, and then point out, that complaining about the imcompotency of others never hurt Andy Rooney, none, and politely tell her to suck a fuck...RIP Andy...
__________________________________
Angels say they can make you suffer.They give and take like a vicious lover .When all this loses meaning, You'll never want it back somehow"-Neverending White Lights (The Grace)
Cranky grump probably knew he was going home to his beloved wife who put up with him for years. RIP Andy.
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
My Dad and Andy Rooney are so much alike, it's uncanny! They're a hoot to listen to. Andy, you will certainly be missed. RIP
_.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._.•´¯`•._
dude was a timeless original.
always ALWAYS interesting.
*peddles off in a mint '88 yugo*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YTkxr3j2HQ&feature=related
He was doing Seinfeld before Seinfeld knew what he was doing. Remember tuning him out as a kid and getting it as I got older. Peace.