Conclusion: Brett Ratner Has A Tiny Dick And Banged Olivia Munn Once
Olivia Munn wrote a book once called Suck It, Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures Of A Hollywood Geek and in it she confessed that when she first came to Hollywood she bumped wet parts with a major movie director who's as hung as a baby flamingo flower and who regularly jacked his mouse dick while eating shrimp. (Mental note: shrimp oil is now a lube substitute). Cut to last night's episode of Attack of Show, which Olivia used to be on. Brett Ratner, director of such cinematic masterpieces as Rush Hour 3 and The Family Man, was on and the show's host Kevin Pereira brought up the rumor that Brett is the director Olivia threw shade, cocktail sauce and a penis pump at in her book. Brett admitted that it is him, but he wanted to make it clear that the only shrimp around when he's fapping is his dick. Brett then blasted at Olivia by saying she's only Asian when the role calls for it.
"I used to date Olivia Munn, I'll be honest with everyone here. But when she was 'Lisa.' She wasn't Asian back then. She was hanging out on my set of After the Sunset, I banged her a few times, but I forgot her. Because she changed her name. I didn't know it was the same person and so when she auditioned for me for a TV show, I forgot her, she got pissed off, and so she made up all these stories about me eating shrimp and masturbating in my trailer. And she talked about my shortcomings."
Note that he's not even trying to defend that "shortcomings" shit.
Brett Ratner is a grade A piece of soiled clit lint who probably considers his vast Adidas flip-flops collection as his greatest achievement and who shouts shit like "Take all of daddy's big dick, bitch!" at his piece when she puts all of it in her mouth while clenching her teeth out of shame at the same time. I fully believe that Brett has a dick that doesn't even clear the gums and I also believe that his nasty bloated ass likes his masturbation sessions surf and turf-style. If you're going to squeeze your dick while eating seafood, at least be classy about it and go with lobster instead of shrimp. I bet his trailer smells like a Sizzler kitchen sink at the end of dinner service.
On the other hand, I have more of an opinion on this sludge at the bottom of my coffee cup than I do of Olivia Munn. But from what I've read, she's the eve that belongs to Summer. So hopefully these two end up together in the end, because they sound like a match made in cunt cleaner heaven.
She hit Brett Ratner? Damn, how long did she give herself the ole "I hate myself" cry afterwards? Poor girl. I hope he at least sent her a sympathy card later on.
also... the first review on amazon of this book is a-mazing and probably more worth reading then the book itself:
"She is the stereotypical egotistical self centered princess that she complains about throughout the entire book."
http://www.amazon.com/Suck-Wonder-Woman-Misadventures-Hollywood/dp/03125...
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
absolutely. well-said.
RE: Submitted by hotpocket on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 7:14pm.
And it's my personal policy to never sleep with a guy who uses the word "banged" to describe sex with someone. Keep that shrimp in its holster, cowboy.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
Submitted by Miss Thang on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 7:04pm.
I hate when women fuck a dude and then talk shit about him... it just screams bitter bitch syndrome.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
• report abuse
Ummmm.... no offense, but guys seem to do this more than women, but that's ok I guess.
Boorish trashy director + mouthy trash-talking "actress" = trashtastic feud. Rattner couldn't direct traffic even if he were a stoplight and Munn couldn't convincingly act afraid even if strapped to a Saturn rocket hurtling towards the Sun. In other words, a match made in the shallow pissoir of Hell-y-wood.
I've almost forgotten her already and I just read about her a second ago. That smug look on her face is writing checks her mediocre ass can't cash.
And it's my personal policy to never sleep with a guy who uses the word "banged" to describe sex with someone. Keep that shrimp in its holster, cowboy.
I hate when women fuck a dude and then talk shit about him... it just screams bitter bitch syndrome.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
Eating shrimp while jacking off? Was this a reference to shrimping that got mistranslated?
Olivia Munn haz borings, but he is right that she turns on and off the "I iz Asian" to suit the situation.
He got her worse by saying he banged her a few times and then forgot her b/c she changed her name. LOLOL!
But in the end, who cares about this dead-eyed derp face and some loser she banged once or twice?
I hate both of these whores. I'm not sure who is telling the truth here, but I hate trashy bitches who will fuck to get something they want because they aren't talented enough to get it on their own. I also hate dudes who pretend they hit it, quit it, and forgot about it when a girl calls him out on being an asshole with a small dick.
He's the son of a Miami socialite. That means he's the useless progeny of a useless progeny
This bitch is about as Asian as Panda Express.
I really don't know who this broad is. I've seen pictures of her on websites but that is it. I've always thought she looked hot except for the fact that I've rarely seen her in hot outfits. Final analysis: Highly fuckable but needs to learn to dress sexier.
HAHAHAHAHAHA! Brett has tinymeat.
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"When I come up, I rush, I rush for you..."
She's wicked full of shit. I don't like either of them, but her whole "geek" persona is so fake. Plus, she ain't funny. Brett Ratner sucks too, but I feel like he's at least genuine in his absolute tool-iness. Fuck those fools.
be cool about fire safety
@MissJaneTexas who in the fuck approved that cover??! It's awful. I mean, I'm not the most photogenic person in the world but I have learned my angles enough to know where not to look when taking a photo. She should follow suit and start getting her photos taken from behind...or not getting her photos taken at all...or just go to hell, yeah that's the one I was looking for. Go to hell.
Give me back my goddamn HELMET!
Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:16pm.
Join the club. Hey, if we're self-respecting women, we can read whatever the fuck we want and who gives a shit what others think?
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
I really dislike Olivia Munn. She's not funny and she's more desperate for fame than Phoebe Price and Shauna Sands combined.
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"... a wail that sounds like a deaf cat in heat getting DPed while jumping on a trampoline during an earthquake."
don't care....googled them in case I should...nope, still don't.
She isn't Asian. For god sakes when are people going to get it that mixed races especially Germen, Irish, and chinese does not mean "I am super hott Asian Chick" She is flat out American and glorifies her "Nerdiness" for the attention. I am 100% Korean and that girl is 100 grade A American. She also got no fucking geek to her, there are more socially awkward geeky girls out there that deserve that attention for more than her tits and ass
As gross as Brett Ratner is, the one thing that disturbs me the most about this whole post is that they allow anyone to write books nowadays.
I don't give a rat's ass about either one of these horz; however, it beats reading YET ANOTHER story about the Beavers, the HoHans, or the Kartrasshians.
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WORDS MEAN NOTHING, fashion speaks volumes. -MK
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:40pm.
Submitted by TequilaTax on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:31pm.
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Sure we can.
When you've been conditioned all your life to put out for men, and the alternative for the "virtuous" is no work, then you jump onto the damn couch.
"Free will" isn't really free. We'd like to think it is, because then we get to see ourselves as cool, sexy rebels, instead of victims.
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I would agree with you if she had been raised in the Hollywood movie system from the time she was born but if she was raised outside of the system then I can hold her to a higher standard.
There are other kinds of work in Hollywood so putting out just to get a movie role doesn't work anymore. That is like saying the only way regular women can get an office job is by blowing the interviewer.
Ms. Munn should just admit she fucked for a movie role, didn't get it, and is mad that that trick didn't work.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:40pm.
Submitted by TequilaTax on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:31pm.
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Sure we can.
When you've been conditioned all your life to put out for men, and the alternative for the "virtuous" is no work, then you jump onto the damn couch.
"Free will" isn't really free. We'd like to think it is, because then we get to see ourselves as cool, sexy rebels, instead of victims.
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I would agree with you if she had been raised in the Hollywood movie system from the time she was born but if she was raised outside of the system then I can hold her to a higher standard.
There are other kinds of work in Hollywood so putting out just to get a movie role doesn't work anymore. That is like saying the only way regular women can get an office job is by blowing the interviewer.
Ms. Munn should just admit she fucked for a movie role, didn't get it, and is mad that that trick didn't work.
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by TequilaTax on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:31pm.
What Ms. Munn is admitting is that the casting counch is not only alive and well but women are jumping onto it of their own free will.
So I guess we can't blame some directors and other Hollywood higher up for how women are treated in the movie business?
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Sure we can.
When you've been conditioned all your life to put out for men, and the alternative for the "virtuous" is no work, then you jump onto the damn couch.
"Free will" isn't really free. We'd like to think it is, because then we get to see ourselves as cool, sexy rebels, instead of victims.
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"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
Submitted by azgirl on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:16pm
Good to see another female comic book fan.
I was into mostly independent comics (Lobo, Preacher, Cherry Poptart)
What did you read?
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
What Ms. Munn is admitting is that the casting counch is not only alive and well but women are jumping onto it of their own free will.
So I guess we can't blame some directors and other Hollywood higher up for how women are treated in the movie business?
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:07pm.
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Oh, okay. My brother passed this same technique to me when we went fishing the other day. The rub, saran wrapping, sealing with foil to steam over the grill then removing all and finishing off low heat. His daughter made some but cooked them too long, they were good and tender but like mush, no chew at all. Lesson learned, don't overcook them.
Back on topic, I have no patience for women like this trick. She talks about the guy badly but she did him, right? Why?
I think we know why, in her eyes he had some status. She either was thinking with her vagina or she figured she could parlay sex into something more for her.
Either way she thought her stuff was special and it ain't no different from all the other tricks in Hollywood who'd screw their way to some level of fame and fortune. And guys like him know that. Trick.
"She's the eve that belongs to Summer" has to be one of the greatest MK quotes ever. I will be using that phrase that pays at some point today, appropriately or not. It screams "down low shade", which is my favorite kind. I'm a flight attendant, my insults can't be too obvious :)
Submitted by mbar on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:23am.
Olivia Munn needs to stop with the whole "comic book nerd" act. She's 30. What self respecting 30 year old woman reads comic books?
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*raises hand slowly*
Submitted by bambam on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 12:01pm.
Hey Jack, was it you who told me about wrapping ribs up in saran wrap or something?
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Aluminum foil. I smoke my ribs for two hours at 225 then wrap them as tight as you can in aluminum foil (add a little root beer in the foil before wrapping) and bring the temp up to about 300 and cook for another 2 hours...
The only time I wrap them in saran wrap is if I rub them down the night before... then you MUST wrap tightly in saran wrap and place in fridge. Pull them out about an hour before you put them on the smoker to bring them up to room temp.
Sorry about the offtopic.
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
i'm turned on
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http://tinyurl.com/69rcrqy
Hey Jack, was it you who told me about wrapping ribs up in saran wrap or something?
Tequila Tax - here's the recipe she used.
http://rasamalaysia.com/recipe-red-lobster-cheddar-bay-biscuits_05/2/
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"Dog, Jack drinks exclusively at the Braille Bar." EastEndGirl, 11/01/2011
Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:51am
Receipe please!
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Submitted by mbar on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:23am.
Olivia Munn needs to stop with the whole "comic book nerd" act. She's 30. What self respecting 30 year old woman reads comic books? Just because she read lines off a teleprompter for a "gamer" show, she thinks people will believe she's this one-of-the-guys nerd. Bitch, I read right through you. Stop lying.
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*raises hand*
I'm in my 40's and still read them. Not as often as I use to (I had a $200 a month habit in my 20's) but I still enjoy them from time to time. ElfQuest is still my favorite comic. (When it was written and drawn by Wendy and Richard Pini)
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He kinda reminds me of Ron Jeremy, but...not as classy! - Submitted by david Letterman
Besides, it's just marriage! Who in the hell takes that shit seriously? - Michael K
Hilarious that he doesn't really deny it.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 11:05am.
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You sound like a fun dinner guest! =D
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Submitted by But.Seriously.Folks on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:57am.
Thing that are more interesting than Bret n Olivia:
Biscuits
Shrimp
This tired article I'm half reading about Zoe Saldana's fave outfits. Yep, even that's more interesting. She likes scarves! Lol
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Agreed. And do you know what would be even more interesting? Zoe Saldana not wearing any outfit at all!
LOL
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
On the topic of food and small weiners...
True story: on my way to a friend's for dinner, I was yapping on my cell to my BFF about a toss I had with a hot dude who had a most unfortunate micropenis.
"How small?" she demanded to know.
"Like... the size of babycorn." I replied.
We hung up when I arrived at my destination. The hosts were (SURPRISE!) preparing stir fry - and at the moment I entered they were adding BABYCORN. After a big honking laugh, I then had to share what was so funny with EVERYONE.
We all snickered throughout dinner, pretending to go down on the babycorn before eating it & various other inappropriate-for-dinnertime references. Ahem.
Fine, I'll show myself out now.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:59am.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 11/04/2011 -
I know a girl who claims to be Greek, Spanish and Egyptian. I'm like honey, you are Mexican.
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Oh, that's my friend. She's half Mexican but don't you DARE tell her that. She is half Spanish with a dash of French, thankyouverymuch.
Hahaha
Race deniers piss me off. A lot of celebrities are straight up half this/half that, but they'll dig up their whole ancestral tree for you if you ask them.
Submitted by MKFan on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:58am.
He dated Serena Williams
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yikes! we know who had the bigger dick and doing the fucking in that relationship then.
"I paid good money to get eaten out" - Samantha Jones
LOL as if anyone ever suspected she is known for any other reason than the cocks she's sucked, the butterfaced whore.
BTW she looks white to me, I don't know where this Asian thing comes from.
She will always be a Morgan Webb wannabee to me.
I hate her cunty ass.
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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Fri, 11/04/2011 -
I know a girl who claims to be Greek, Spanish and Egyptian. I'm like honey, you are Mexican.
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Oh, that's my friend. She's half Mexican but don't you DARE tell her that. She is half Spanish with a dash of French, thankyouverymuch.
Submitted by Gardening Girl on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:00am.
Who are these people and WHY are they famous?
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Brett Ratner- Hollywood Director- famous for
All the 'Rush Hour' movies with Chris Tucker and Jackie Chan
'X-Men Last Stand', 'Superman Returns', 'Red Dragon', 'Money talks' with Charlie Sheen and Chris Tucker.
His latest movie is 'Tower Heist' with Eddie Murphy and Ben Stiller to be released Friday I think.
He's also a good friend of Russell Simmons who helped him get his start by directing his rap videos.
He dated Serena Williams and was engaged to actress Rebecca Gayheart.
Thing that are more interesting than Bret n Olivia:
Biscuits
Shrimp
This tired article I'm half reading about Zoe Saldana's fave outfits. Yep, even that's more interesting. She likes scarves! Lol
Submitted by JapJay on Fri, 11/04/2011 - 10:44am.
Why is nobody defending the defamed shrimp, the most talented creature of the three?
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Poor debased shrimp. I'm calling PETA as I type...
Them biscuits gots their own page. http://www.facebook.com/pages/Red-Lobster-Chedder-Biscuits/1584531742272...
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
@ Tellysworld. Her Maxim cover made me want to punch small cute animals.
http://cache.gawkerassets.com/assets/images/39/2011/09/medium_olivia-mun...
So fug.
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
TellysWorld -- I totally agree with you. Whenever I see a picture of Olivia I get crazy mad, like I'd punch her right in the face if I ever saw her smug ass. She has total bitch face, surprising since she's a dumb, untalented ho. If she fucked Ratner, it goes to show you what a piece of slutty garbage she is.