Kim Kardashian’s marriage and the conceiving of Justin Beiber’s first baby in the bathroom are just two things that will last longer than Lindsay Lohan’s latest time in jail. Reading that headline took more time than what it will take LiLo to prance into her cell, queef on her sheets so they have to change them and sashay out of the jail house before the scent clears. Judge Stephanie sentenced LiLo to 30 days in jail today (Note: Judge Stephanie telling LiLo “I order you to 30 days in jail” took more time than LiLo’s time in jail will take.) but TMZ says she’ll serve closer to 30 seconds than 30 days.
The Sheriff said that depending when LiLo checks in, she could spend the night there, but most people who get a misdemeanor sentence of 90 days or less are out within minutes. The Sheriff blamed it all on overcrowding and then made sure he said that LiLo was not getting special treatment at all.
You know, just when I think I’ve exhausted every last keystroke about this hilarious and disastrous shit, our prophet steps up to the altar and lets out more words of wisdom that make me raise my hands up and shout out: YAAASSSSSSS!
As always, the truth is what Khia speaks. One of LiLo’s face freckles might as well morph into a teardrop, because that ho is a gangsta prison bitch and she hasn’t even been in prison!