Open Post: Hosted By Gremlins

There you were thinking that outdoing Heidi Klum at her own Halloween party was a task more impossible than “White Oprah’s mound of mashed coke brain producing a reasonable thought” and “Michael K not dragging every story in a gutter of filthy fuck sauce,” but fashion designers Phillipe and David Blond proved us all wrong in NYC last night. They threw all the other costumes into a blender set to high when they stepped out on the carpet as Greta Gremlin and some other Gremlin. This is the kind of costume you get when you’ve got money, resources and the ability to breathe in oxygen from a pin hole the size of an ant’s vagina.

The Blondes might’ve passed out on the dance floor due to mask suffocation and dehydration, but I’m sure they looked like a puddle of sexy smegma lying there. To think, if Teresa Giudice dyed her hair green and only wore red lipstick, she’d look as hot as this. Get yourself some Manic Panic, ‘Resa!

Here’s a few other hos in costumes at Heidi Klum’s second Halloween party last night. In order: Natasha Bedingfield as someone from Misfits (I think), Amber Rose as Slash, Kyle McLaughlin as GOOP’s kryptonite, Fergie Fug as a Toddlers & Tiaras pageant queen, Heidi & Seal as Khloe Kardashian’s true parents and Michelle Trachtenberg as Sally from Nightmare Before Christmas.