Hugh Grant's "Fleeting Affair" Produced A Surprise Baby
Hugh Grant learned the Benicio Del Toro & Kimbo Stewart way that when you drop a jizz load into your piece and there's no rubber parachute there to catch it, there's a chance that in 9 months you'll have baby piss in your face and a child support invoice in your mailbox.
The dude who perfected the British stutter in practically every damn romantic comedy from the 90s is somebody's father and his rep makes it clear to People that the lady he thought was a two-week fuck has now turned into someone whose face he'll see every other weekend when he picks up his kid. Hugh's rep put it like this:
"I can confirm that Hugh Grant is the delighted father of a baby girl. He and the mother had a fleeting affair and while this was not planned, Hugh could not be happier or more supportive. He and the mother have discussed everything and are on very friendly terms."
That totally is the white gloves and top hat way of saying, "That bareback bitch raw dog dicked a ho in the back of a rented mid-level sedan again. You know how he does it."
Hugh's rep wouldn't say who the mother is, but the NYDN took a Detective La Toya monocle to the situation and they believe the mother is Chinese actress Tinglan Hong. Hugh fucked around with her for a minute last January and she was looking a little full of fetus-ish back in April. I really hope she is the mother and I really hope Hugh did the right thing by naming his baby friend, son or daughter, Divine. I mean, Divine Hong-Grant does have a beautiful ring to it.
• 
What blind item was this? One more apology to Ben Afflek. I think I'd rather have a bulldog for my father than have Hugh Grant. I can imagine how icky-prissy he got when told the news.
______________________________________________
Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
______________________________________________
huh. i guess i had given up on him ever being caught up in anything that would involve responsibility. good luck to baby divine!
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
This made me cry laughing so hard:
That totally is the white gloves and top hat way of saying, "That bareback bitch raw dog dicked a ho in the back of a rented mid-level sedan again. You know how he does it."
At least he didn't have a child with Divine. He will actually be a good dad. He hasn't denied it was his like so many.
Hmmm shady
Submitted by Naughychimp on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 9:30pm.
This is why I have so much respect for Single mothers by Choice. Yeah, the ones who really want a kid and go to a sperm bank and pay to raise their kids out of their own pocket.
_______________________________________
With what? The oodles of cash that single mothers earn from their high paying, high profile jobs that win them the universal esteem of society?
Oh, wait, no. Those people with the high-paying, high-profile jobs are almost all MEN. Men who think birth control is the job of lesser mortals!
*______________________________________*
"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
We always though that Hugh was a homocita.
Could this be a carefully arranged PR trick -along the lines of homosexual arnold s and the mexican maid - because Hugh was about to be 'outed'?
Discuss!
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 7:06pm.
Submitted by boston61 on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 6:34pm.
He will fall in love with his baby. He will pay anything to be a part of it's life. She set the perfect sugar daddy trap.
----------------------------------------------
Cause I am bored, and haven`t eaten troll-bait in a minute, I`ll bite.
Boston, if you stick your fucking dick in a woman without a jimmy and she turns up pregnant, you haven`t been trapped, you have been a DUMBASS. A very careless, nasty dumbass.
===========
Ha, ha!!!
If only he'd gotten his trick whore Divine pregnant.
Tinglan Hong tingled Hugh's dong and hit 777. Magic.
This is why I have so much respect for Single mothers by Choice. Yeah, the ones who really want a kid and go to a sperm bank and pay to raise their kids out of their own pocket. Don't have a kid because you want the dad to pay a fortune for the next 18 years. Have a kid because you want one so badly you'd be willing to financially support it all on your own!
You go Baby Mama! Enjoy those sweet sweet child support checks girl!
(as long as there are men who do stupid things when their dicks get hard there are people who will profit from it)
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by stake_spike on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 7:25pm.
When will these men learn it's always the low level "actresses" you have to look out for.
* * *
If he had the common sense to wear a condom, he wouldn't have to "look out" for anybody.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.
"while this was not planned, Hugh could not be happier"
Awwwwww... BULLSHIT!
Happy that he now has to pay big bux to some golddigging slut for the next 18 years? Uh, no.
Jersey Girl17, omg! Yeah, I forgot about that scene! Lol. Ahh.. back in the ole' 90s.
MK, you should definitely write press releases! lol - "That bareback bitch..."
Submitted by boston61 on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 7:45pm.
Hugh, just cough up the dough and cover your dick next time. K?
*______________________________________*
"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
I'll bet she asks for 20-30 K a month. This kid will need Burberry sheets after all. And she will need a nice place to live to raise the baby in. He was scammed. No woman has to have a baby she does not plan or want. Only stupid girls do not know how to use birth control. She knew he would be secretly thrilled to have a kid. Women manipulate. That's what women do. He was played.
Boston, your baiting sucks. And a suspicion i had for a while now has been confirmed.
--------------------------------------------------
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Uncle Brain-fart
No, women should keep their legs SHUT if they are not married. Or they are whores. Sex and the City whores.
"Fleeting affair"...is that the same thing he had with Divine Brown in a car?
Submitted by ZenShaman on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 7:37pm.
We've reached 7 fucking billion people on this planet. Stop having babies, stop it right now!
_______________________________________
Agree. Or at least leave the breeding to sane and stable people who won't abuse the privilege.
*______________________________________*
"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 5:31pm.
Who in their right mind still has unprotected sex these days? WITH RANDOM PEOPLE???
Am i the only bitch that doesn`t want Aids, Herpes, genital warts??
Shit, i don`t even want a yeast infection.
What the fuck is WRONG with people??
_______________________________________
No, UBF, you're not.
These people are so self-absorbed they think diseases and pregnancy only happen to others. Until they happen to themselves!
Then they visit the clinic or pay off the ho, go out and do it again. 'Cause that one time was just a stroke of bad luck that won't happen again.
*______________________________________*
"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
We've reached 7 fucking billion people on this planet. Stop having babies, stop it right now!
When will these men learn it's always the low level "actresses" you have to look out for. They can't make it, so they get knocked up by someone more famous. Voila check for 18 years.
I feel sorry the kid. Grant seems kind of cold and odd.
Submitted by Andrei on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 7:10pm.
Wasn't he in a movie called 9 Months?
________________________________________
YES! I will always love that movie for the scene where Hugh Grant and Tom Arnold beat the shit out of a Barney lookalike in a toy store in front of a mob of crying children.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Wasn't he in a movie called 9 Months?
Submitted by boston61 on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 6:34pm.
He will fall in love with his baby. He will pay anything to be a part of it's life. She set the perfect sugar daddy trap.
----------------------------------------------
Cause I am bored, and haven`t eaten troll-bait in a minute, I`ll bite.
Boston, if you stick your fucking dick in a woman without a jimmy and she turns up pregnant, you haven`t been trapped, you have been a DUMBASS. A very careless, nasty dumbass.
--------------------------------------------------
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Justin Bieber a dad?! Oh no!
(973) Jersey Strong
by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 4:56pm.
Poor twat. He grew up an uptight middle-class white boy with a taste for the exotic which he's had to hide all his life by hanging around with frigid bowls of oatmeal like Liz Hurley.
**************************************
HaHaHaHa--this is perfect!
Ol' Horny Hugh never struck me as a bad guy, even though I can't watch him act without cringing. All that stuttering and blinking gives me the damn willies.
OTOH Liz Hurley always seemed like a royal cunt. And talk about plastic surgery--her original face is fug.
I really don't see a problem with this. He's getting old and did not have any children yet, so, congratulations to him.
No, baby, when I put on a condom, I can't feel anything... Besides, they don't make them in my size, XXL. Come on, I'll pull out, I promise...
Pubic? Service... nvm. *shuffles off, kicking rocks*
He will fall in love with his baby. He will pay anything to be a part of it's life. She set the perfect sugar daddy trap.
Speaking of fleeting affairs that produced a baby:
http://www.nj.com/entertainment/index.ssf/2011/11/justin_bieber_baby_pat...
If Maury gives Justin the green light, this is surely the sign of the apocalypse.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
Dear Hollywood people: WEAR A CONDOM YOU DUMB FUCKS. This has been a pubic service announcement.
Submitted by Lucifer_Sam on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 5:21pm.
*high fives letinstar*
------------------------------------------------
*high five back at you, lucifer_sam*
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Maybe the condom broke or something-
Submitted by AitchCS on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 5:28pm.
Don't forget Jude Law and Steven Soderburgh
==========
And the Governator Arnold.
Add me to the list of people who don't get the no condom thing. Wrap it up for God's sake. I have student loans out the ears, but I still wouldn't have unprotected sex a some rich actor for child support payments. Get a damn job.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
"No Honey, mommy and Daddy did not love each other, Mommy and Daddy just had sex one night and puff! you came along!"
I mean, Really what do you tell your child when he gets older and starts asking questions??????
********* SAVE A LIFE. ADOPT A PET *********
Submitted by Bree on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 5:39pm.
I don't understand why these whores don't just get snipped. If you're going to sleep around, care nothing for commitment (and will therefore never marry) then why the fuck not?
----------------------------------
That's what Redman did. One of the first things he did when he bought when he first started rapping was a vasectomy.
----------------------------------
Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
Speaking of children in 2007, Hugh Grant told Vogue: "As much as I adore myself, I'm quite keen to find someone else to care about more. I remember reading a Warren Beatty quote when he finally had children and said what a relief it was to not be all me, me, me."
Wow, what a dreamy boyfriend/partner he sounds like, huh?
Yeah, guys who have "fleeting affairs" are always happy and supportive when their one night stands get knocked up.
Once a douche, always a douche.
==============================================
Riding shotgun with the Thought Police... What you say may be used against you.
I don't understand why these whores don't just get snipped. If you're going to sleep around, care nothing for commitment (and will therefore never marry) then why the fuck not? Better yet, wrap your dick so you don't get a fucking DISEASE!!! What is wrong with people?
Who in their right mind still has unprotected sex these days? WITH RANDOM PEOPLE???
Am i the only bitch that doesn`t want Aids, Herpes, genital warts??
Shit, i don`t even want a yeast infection.
What the fuck is WRONG with people??
---------------------------------------------
Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Don't forget Jude Law and Steven Soderburgh
*high fives letinstar*
Submitted by Hekki on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 5:13pm.
At least in the olden days the kid could be told that their daddy died in the war.
I must be one sick fuck because this made me laugh. I guess I visualised TINGLAN telling baby Divine that Hugh Grant died in the war.
*snort*
Not planned BY HIM. Bitch knew what she was up to.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
What kind of fuckery is this?
Submitted by _fail_ on Tue, 11/01/2011 - 5:05pm.
A guy that age should just get his junk snipped. What are you waiting for? It's quick, relatively painless and a permanent anti-pregnancy solution. Guys are so frickin' egotistical, always thinking with their wiener, or acting directly on its behalf.
And it's easily reversible. :)