Out of all the wigs that tried to quit a bitch during Today’s ridiculous mess of a Halloween show this morning, why couldn’t it have been the dull beaver’s ass on top of Al Roker’s head?
My nipples have the weirdest hard-on right now and my other parts that usually flutter when Prince Hot Ginge’s name comes on my screen are so confused after watching Al Roker as Prince Harry. There is just so many thick layers of HUH?! here. Prince Hot Ginge would never walk into a LensCrafters unless it had a bar of contact lens cases full of vodka, so those glasses on Al Roker’s face are historically inaccurate! The top of PHG’s head naturally looks like a volcano erupting into an orgasm and so that sad piece of dusty rust carpet on Al’s head just isn’t going to work. Al looks more like the butch Indian lesbian who sat next to me in 9th grade English and tried to convince me that her ginger hair was all natural and not from a date with Miss Clairol. Bitch totally looks like a Bollywood version of Rojo Caliente.
With all that being said, even though Al Roker makes a terrifying Prince Hot Ginge, it is still my duty to fap to all things Prince Hot Ginge. Today is the day I find out if tears can double as lube.
Here’s more from Today overdoing the overdone royal wedding this morning. The cast of messes included Matt Lauer as Prince William, Ann Curry as Kate Middleton, Natalie Morales as Pippa, Savannah Gunthrie as Prince Charles, Hoda & Kathie Lee as Eugenie & Beatrice, the laptop girl from the 4th hour as Posh and Meredith Vieira as Queen Elizabeth.