Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 31, 2011 / Posted by: Michael K

So many minutes of my young life were wasted trying to summon Bloody Mary’s ass to the bathroom mirror when I should’ve just walked in front of the TV during my abuelita’s novella-watching time if I really wanted an old lady to scratch at me in the face. But everybody tried to bring Bloody Mary to the mirror in their own way. The minimalists just lit candles and chanted her name while twirling around. We were not minimalists and turned that mess into a water show spectacular. We lit candles in the bathroom, splashed water on the mirror and chanted her name while one of us spun around and the other one flushed the toilet over and over again. Bloody Mary never showed up (probably because she didn’t want to catch any butt germs that jumped out of the toilet every time we flushed it), but I’m sure we single-handedly brought on the California drought.

Nowadays, if I want to bring on the real (and better) Bloody Mary, I just stand in front of the bar at T.G.I. Friday’s and twirl around while chanting her name as I throw dollar bills at the bartender.

Happy Hallowpeen, everyone!

Tags: Hot Slut of the Day

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