I'll add more to this Halloween gift as soon as I stop HAHAHAHAHAHA-ing from every one of my fingers.
Okay, I'm back and I'm still trying to fight the urge to HAHAHAHAHAHA through my finger tips throughout this entire post, but you must know why the true love bubble out of E!'s ass has burst all up in Ryan Gaycrest's face. TMZ reports that the completely staged marriage that you thought would last about as long as a fart trying to escape through Kim's canyon of doom ass has already died after 72 days. As Pimp Mama Kris lines up johns (aka People Magazine, Life & Style, etc...) and sponsors (aka Legalzoom, etc...) for the multimillion dollar divorce tour special, Kim's divorce lawyer Laura Wasser is filing papers in L.A. today.
A source tells TMZ that this trash heap alien-faced whore is filing for divorce from I Already Forgot His Name, because he wants to stay in Minnesota and the flash from a pap's camera is her oxygen so she refuses to leave L.A. They didn't figure this out before their $10 million dollar wedding, because she was too busy creaming out from every orifice over the thought of how much attention (and nonreturnable gifts) her fraudulent marriage would get.
Kim Kuntrashian stuffed $18 million into her gaping wide checking account for the wedding and she'll probably stuff a few million in for "Kim's Fairytale Divorce" special. Then in about six months, she'll do all over again with a 6"3' bag of cold dumb whose soul comes with a price tag on it.
The dead horse that is the sanctity of marriage just got up and reached for a bat to beat itself some more while mouthing the word "sorry" to the gays.