Lourdes Speaks!
This video about something you will never care about is War & Peace long and further confirms Madge as the most underrated thespian since Howard the Duck, but it must be seen since this is the first time I've ever heard Lourdes' voice! I was not expecting Lourdes to make that sound, but then again I'm not even sure what sound I was expecting. Maybe a high-pitched fake British squeak followed by the words, "HELP! HELP! That Kabbalah bruja's got a boy toy graveyard in our basement! HELP! HELP!"
This mess of a video is very educational, because we learned that Lourdes did not inherit her mother's completely natural British tongue and she also did not inherit her mother's inability to even play herself on camera. Luckily for Lourdes, the "talk like a pretentious cuntwaffle" gene and the "can't act worth shit" gene skipped a generation.
Speaking of children of celebrities speaking for the first time, when is Apple going to get it together and finally make Suri Cruise the voice, face and EVERYTHING of Siri? Unless.... Suri IS Siri and she's collecting all of our drunk questions to use against us when Xenu lands on Earth and we're forced to choose sides. Excuse me while I retrieve my blown mind from across the room.
via ONTD
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Ok, I only lasted 1.5 minutes hearing pretentious Madonna go on and on. What I enjoyed most was Lourdes totally not giving a damm about her mum prattling on and on and on ...rolling her eyes at her pretentious shit...and just generally ignoring her...texting away, walking off halfway when Madonnna was rambling on about shit.
And she's a nice healthy teen girl - why the hell can't she eat! But it's funny to see her bait her mum with food - knowing she is sooo hungry!!
I am so looking forward to the bitch fights these two will have soon...Team Lola!!! You go girl! Scratch her jealous eyes out!!!
i cannot imagine this woman being my mother. i'm impressed that lourdes doesn't go off and throw a vase of hydrangeas in madge's face.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
It's painfully obvious that Lourdes thinks her mom is a joke. She may turn out ok after all. LMAO, she totally blew her off.
It's an ad for a clothing line. Do any of you really think that Madonna, or any parent, would allow Lourdes to get too rude on camera? (cf the "Mommie Dearest" scene: "Not in front of a REPORTER!") All it shows is that Madonna still can't act, and still doesn't get the issue regarding the hydrengeas (sp?). Yeah Madonna, thanks for introducing the world to "irony." What's next, a lesson in "satire"? Glad that she lost the horrible British accent and is back to her Detroit-rooted, nasally, whinny voice. The Material Girl is still The Insecure Girl. Who still can't act.
Off Topic:
femguide,
I really like your blog (is it yours?):
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
That video, "Obvious Child," was pretty awesome. It's the antidote to that bullshit movie with Katherine Heigl and Seth Rogan (I forget it's title, and rightfully and thankfully so. Judd Apatow sucks.)
I'll be sharing it with friends. Thanks.
Bjork You
I heard Lourdes speak before...she said JE VEUX TE DIRE UN SECRET or whatever..."I'm going to tell you a secret"
Madge doesn't seem to understand "irony" either.
Oh, and I don't think "immaterial" means what she thinks it means.
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All y'all going to Hell with gasoline drawers!
Lola eats loudly and looks very much like her dad. Not appealing.
This proves you don't need a personality to be a superstar.
"...she also did not inherit her mother's inability to even play herself on camera." MK nailed it there. Madonna speaking is more uncomfortable than a dildo up your butt while you're constipated.
Looks like they have a cool relationship.
I enjoyed this vid.
Madonna and Lourdes are beautiful.
"Me, me, me, me, me!" She doesn't really do irony, does she. That was a scripted and approved advertisement for her lame clothing line and in which she "acts" ironically but fails. If I had to live with her I might want to stuff a sock in her gob.
Whoa. She got tall.
lmao at "Excuse me while I retrieve my blown mind from across the room."
.
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My god, what a little brat. Even acting...she comes across as a bitch that needs to be taken out to a rough part of town and made to find her own way back. With no cash or cards.
Madonna's okay here. It appears here that nobody got the double irony, but that's a risk you take when you try that kind of thing.
And I would still go out with her in a NY minute. Provided she left the brat in boarding school.
boston...what? *Madonna* can't sing! She has a weak ass voice.
Madonna trying to be funny and witty just falls flat. Narcissists just aren't funny.
Submitted by jackie on Fri, 10/28/2011 - 8:05pm.
I know pot use leads to sexting which leads to..a big disappointment.
@prettyhatemachine
I know pot use leads to sexting which leads to..a big disappointment.
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This is true.
@warmjuice(lol at that name btw)
So texting leads to pot use which leads to hardcore drug use? Girl what drugs are YOU smoking lmao.
It's basically just an advertisement, but Madge's acting chops are so negligible she can't even manage that.
Madonna reminding the few people who see this video that she is and always will be the worst. actress. ever. ever. ever. Her pulled-back face looks great and Lourdes eats like a pig.
Submitted by warmjuice on Fri, 10/28/2011 - 2:34pm.
This was cute- the whole indifferent teen vs. mom kind of thing. But I will say one thing…Madonna will regret giving lola such open text privileges- it makes pot super easy to get and if lola becomes a pothead by 17-18 then hard drugs have an easier time getting her getting her around 25.
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:P LOL yeah right (eyeroll) because everyone uses text to get pot? c'mon. why leave a written record. pure duh, for a teen,but complete stupidity for an adult. i'm sure vadge has an app to read her texts (and to know lo's whereabouts) anyway.
funny comment though. i commend the stupidty of someone who uses text to order drugs.
I'll bet Madge give Lola backhanded compliments....or is it underhanded? I forget. I am tired.
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But you know that when the truth is told
That you can get what you want, or you can just get old
Billy Joel- "Vienna"
Submitted by Lady WTF on Fri, 10/28/2011 - 2:05pm.
Do you people seriously believe they were ACTING here??
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Really? Look at the hairdresser who spends 4 minutes pretending to fix her hair, does this look natural to you? Jesus Christ, the things we have to read around here.............
Sounds scripted to me.
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"Wait until the bitch finds the family of wombats living in her chocha." - MK
I bet this type of conversation happens all the time IRL. Madonna blathering on about herself, and Lourdes not listening.
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Time cast a spell on you but
You won't forget me
I know I could have loved you but
You would not let me
-Fleetwood Mac
Thankfully she sounds normal, she isn't prone to saying "Like" compared to the other bimbos her age.
Submitted by ZenShaman on Fri, 10/28/2011 - 12:12pm.
Lourdes is gorgeous and seems like a level-headed kid. Like Frances Bean, she probably can't wait to escape her narcissistic mother. I love that she is texting and eating and just trying to tolerate her cunt of a mother.
Hmmm... the whole thing was written like that, so it looks like she's not giving a shit.
I always thought Madonna was good in A League of Her Own LOL I guess it's the exception that proves the rule.
I hope the next Material Girl is Noah Cyrus, it's the only choice that is possibly worse than Taylor Momsen. (Who's name BTW I actually just forgot and had to google)
Madonna can't 'act'.
yeah.
that's just like a conversation between my 15 year old daughter and I.
and yes, out of frustration, it ends with "have you done your homework" because I know that makes her leave.
just like "when are you going to do the backyard" makes my husband disappear and "when are you going to get a job" makes my son clear a room.
the bitch I gotta be just to get some peace around here.
This was cute- the whole indifferent teen vs. mom kind of thing. But I will say one thing…Madonna will regret giving lola such open text privileges- it makes pot super easy to get and if lola becomes a pothead by 17-18 then hard drugs have an easier time getting her getting her around 25. Everyone has a different experience with these things but lolas eyes looked a slightly pot-wonked when she did that material girl anniversary with Kelly O (without Madonna) and she was photographed wearing Jamaican pot memorabilia (without Madonna)..again none of things are wrong in themselves but a person’s tolerance should be low when they hit their 20s…
This kinda sounded like me and my teenaged son, only I hope I don't sound quite as retarded as Madge :p
I ramble on and he's uh huh, yeah,is there food?,sure, Mmm, maybe..
Then that last part made me laugh, when he pisses me off, I'm.. did you do your homework? or go take out the trash. The same way she did it :D
I think thats just a mom thing
Erm, why isn't Lola / Lourdes (or whatever her name is) the "material girl" as she obviously has that "attitude" they want!
Lourdes' voice is very adult sounding.
Madonna is annoying.
** http://feministguidetohollywood.blogspot.com **
Do you people seriously believe they were ACTING here?? My own mother is this tense and stressed out on a daily basis and Madonna is apparantly the same way. This just looks like a videotaped snippet into a typical day of their lives which means that Madonna must behave this way all the time.
Poor Lourdes, she must have nerves of steel to be able to tolerate listening to this upcunt mother of hers ramble on like this every day..
I love this and I'll tell you why: Everyone is commenting on how Lola doesn't give a rat's ass. I doubt that's true. She agreed to be in this totally scripted video. SHE'S ACTING (very well)!!!
What I LOVE is that she's SO GOOD, that you lovelies, the most cynical people I know, are buying this as reality. She gives a totally believable performance, so much so that if it weren't for Madonna's usual wooden delivery, we'd be thinking we stumbled into something real.
Fucking right on Lourdes! Keep on texting!
That is all.
Fail...in everyway imaginable.
Why is Madonna trying to sound like a KardASSian? Is it just me or did anyone else notice she had that annoying-makes-me-want-to-stab-my-ears voice, tone, and pronunciation those skankolas have?
I don't know how much of this was "acting." Madge the Vadge may think she's acting, but Lourdes probably went along with "the act" fully aware that it's actually a depiction of what their real life mother-daughter interactions resemble (w/ a little bit of exaggeration thrown in).
OMFG.
"People in this day and age don't understand irony."
The irony is that this person still considers herself relevant and there are actually other people who take her seriously.
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"I bet Michael Lohan's sperm comes out of his peen yelling screaming and pissed off at the world, all the sperms are getting into fights with each other about who gets to swim where and shit." -- Whamo
hahahaha... can't believe i watched that shit. lolo seemed cute. whatever happened to that other dumb, slut they had shilling their line of prostitot wear? taylor momsen? she was a talent. you know she had... clothes, hair, style, attitude, feelings, teeth, ears... whatever that french phrase she threw in to sound smart. hey, lolo, can't wait 'til you go lohan!
Luckily for Lourdes, the "talk like a pretentious cuntwaffle" gene and the "can't act worth shit" gene skipped a generation. --- LMFAO !!!
voodooCHILD
That was so BORING I turned it off halfway through. Madonna is still a self-centered attention whore dying to be young again.
It's deliberate she wants to be seen as the control freak.
It's IRONY.
People don't get irony - same way you don't get that you can't act.
Tex Perkins.
Google him you dumb fuck!
Not surprised in the least that Madonna commented on Lola snacking (though who knows if that was scripted or not). Madonna is obsessed with her figure and Lola has definitely gained weight recently, like most teenagers do. Control freak.
I just wish she'd told her to shut her damn mouth when she eats.
@Spice Dong,
When I watched Lourdes, Anna's daughter from the documentary is exactly what came to mind. It was great seeing her not give a damn about her cray cray mother's fashion obsession, and one of my favorite parts of the film!
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Happy Halloween!
Ha Ha! I'm luvin Madonna's daughter. She couldn't give a rats azz what her mother was talking about. I loved how she left to grab a bite to eat while she was rambling. She would have shot her hair stylist if he had done the same. That was awesome - yet so typical of a teen. Also loved the 'age' thing she threw in there when describing Madonna - you know that cut like a knife. She surely doesn't appear to do the pretentious thing - and the texting while she was talking was the frosting on the cake.
Madonna has to deal with it tho - cuz that's her babe. She can't fire her. Go Lourdes!
I think Madonna wants her daughter to act/think like she does... which I suspect most moms usually want.. some more than others.
Submitted by LisaH on Fri, 10/28/2011 - 12:44pm.
ba ha ha. Lourdes could give a rat's ass about what her Mom was saying.....
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no shit.... she's just texting away.... walking away to get food.... not looking at her.... yea, yea,,,, whatthefuckevermom......
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I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Shouldn't Luc Picard be doing something more important like piloting the starship Enterprise to strange new words, rather than playing with Vadges hair...
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F*ck youth, how about a fountain of smart..