Today’s Dose Of Glamoooooooooooor Brought To You By Angelyne

And imagine if you saw this vision live and in person…..

The lucky soul who did probably had the day’s shit covering his retinas and it all melted onto the 1-ply carpet as soon as he swung open the doors to the Kinko’s (please don’t make me call it FedEx Office) in Hollywood and gazed upon the Garbage Pail Goddess gracefully waiting for the photocopies of her glamour shots that she sells in the back of her trunk (true story). When Angelyne’s Whatever Happened to Baby Jane? meets Popples weave swung around, he stared deep into her beautiful Japanese Chin on acid face and suddenly a shot of Pixie Stix syrup hit the back of his throat. Angelyne grabbed her copies, fluffed her vintage Limited Too! jacket and disappeared into the sunlight in a cloud of cotton candy powder.

As soon as he got home, he fell back onto his bed to recover from the beauty he witnessed today and suddenly he felt something poking him in the back. He rolled over and found two Strawberry Skittles and a pink ecstasy tab waiting for him. Of course, he made a Strawberry Skittles and ecstasy sandwich, and then popped it into his mouth. He fell back onto his bed for a second time, stared at the glittery popcorn ceiling above him and allowed his insides to dance to the imaginary music in his head as all of the glittery popcorn ceiling fell around him like gay snow. That’s when he knew that if his eyes were never blessed by the vision of the Fraggle Rock Queen none of this would be happening.

What I’m getting at is that Angelyne is magic. What I’m also getting at is that Angelyne makes people temporarily high, which explains this fucking post.