Kris Humphries Wasn't Kim Kardashian's First Choice For A Fake Husband
Meet 23-year-old Italian piece Danilo Gallinari, the former forward of the New York Knicks and Kim Kardashian's first choice to play her trophy husband in the multimillion dollar whoretastic shit show that was her soul-sucking manufactured wedding. That's what Wetpaint is alluding to, anyway. According to their source, before Pimp Mama Kris trapped Kris Humphries and threatened to sic Khloe on his family unless he signs his name in piss (the official ink of the Kardashian family) on a marriage contract, E! executives tried to set Kim up with Danilo. Danilo made the best decision of his life by turning those whores down and the rest is pisstory.
The source claims that while shooting the first season of Kourtney & Kim Take New York, Danilo was wanted by Kim Kardashian and E! tried to make it happen. They told Danilo that if he started dating Kim in front of the cameras, his career would blow up like her asshole when it's forming a fart and he'd become an overnight star. Danilo said the words that Kris Humphries wish he was smart enough to say: "Thank you, but no thank you. And please tell Khloe to heel, because she's chewing on my favorite kicks." That's when E! and the Kardashian whores moved on to their next victim.
This is easy to believe for two reasons:
1. You can't spell FAKE without a K (Side note: I think I might've just called myself fake too, which I guess is better than what I called myself earlier after I accidentally squirted hand lotion on my toothbrush.).
2. Kim Kardashian wanted a husband so bad that Pimp Mama Kris was about to sacrifice one of those Jenner girls to her overlord Satan and ask him to give her a Reggie Bush clone for her prized pig to marry.
So I'm more than sure that Pimp Mama Kris put out a casting notice for professional athletes who don't get piss fright when asked to let out a golden shower on command.
Pee S - Tommy Girl did the whole "buy a spouse" thing better. Snap. Snap.
The fact that he's probably not black or part black makes me not believe this story.
Sincerely,
Alana Smithee
Hoegarten, it is not 1955 anymore. Don't worry, and certainly don't base your life on celebrity's lives! There IS life after 30.
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I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why?
-Fiona Apple "A Mistake"
Please tell me that innocents animals didn't die so she can look like a asshole.
In another topic ¿when her face is going to look real again? http://www.cirugiasdeestrellas.com/2011/03/kim-kardashian-operada.html She look like a wax figure now
Well this is probably moot since no one is replying to this post anymore. But MJT, what you say is comforting. Of course 26 feels really young, as does 28....but when you see beautiful women like Kim K, Jennifer Aniston, Jessica Simpson struggling to find husbands..and Angelina Jolie pouncinng on Brad Pitt when she was 30 to get a long-term partner..one has to wonder. Especially with songs like Lilly Allen's "the fear". I also haven't seen any examples of women who met their husbands after they turned 27 in my real life. I was a engineer up until 2009. I suppose that crowd gets married earlier since its a little easier to jumpstart a career after a bachelors, and they feel financially sound earlier.
Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
Submitted by Mel on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:06am.
I think people have finally hit their saturation point and it will slowly be going down from here.
Paris Hilton faded away, as did Kate Gosselin...its only a matter of time for the Kardashians.
That's the most comforting thing I've read/heard all day. You're right, those other people were very popular and annoying at one point but they did fade away after many insufferable years. Oh please, please, please let this happen soon for the vile Kardashians!!
btw that shit about not being able to attract a man after 25 is HORSESHIT, I met my love of my life at 41...and when I was younger all I met were assholes...women are like wine, they just get better with time...check that you young ass byatches...
Where are the rest of that guy's nipples in the picture?
Certain people should be granted special permission to marry themselves. If Kim just wants a wedding so she can make it ALL ABOUT ME!!!!!!! why not let her marry herself?
Submitted by Hoegarten on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 4:10pm.
I was a little shocked at your comment also. I have 6 best girlfriends from college and of those 6 only 1 met their husband/boyfriend prior to age 26. Although we are all college educated, young professionals (not saying you aren't) and living in major cities (NYC,LA,Dallas). For us 26 was still really young. In fact if I had married the boyfriend I had at age 26 I know I would be divorced already. That would be really sad if life ended at 26. Sheesh!
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
Isn't this old news? Didn't some athlete come out saying she was "Skype" dating a few guys before she settled on Humphires?
Well, PSL. Up until now, I have never heard from women on dlisted who met their husbands or longterm boyfriends after they turned 27. My cousin, who is a good looking girl, got married when she was almost 29 in an arranged marriage in India. Her husband was 5'5 and didn't have a M.S. like she did (not huge things I know), but it took forever to find that groom. She has postponed marriage until that age because she was more focused on her developing her self identity and career, but she had found her market value went down after 25. Evelyn from basketball wives, Bethanny from RHONY, and Kim got married or engaged later in life, but only after they were rich and famous, and looked better than average for women at their age. If it is realistic for me to find a youngish-decent looking guy who has a good job at the age of 28, I am really happy, but evidence has shown me otherwise.
Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
Hoegarten, wtf was that comment? It is hard to attract a man when you over 26". WHAT? If you let yourself fall apart, it is hard to attract someone at any age. I looked better in my 30's than in my 20's. I am almost 41 and met my bf when I was 38.
That comment was just stupid. STOOPIT, I say. I'd expect that shit to come from boston61!
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I'm always doing what I think I should
Almost always doing everybody good
Why?
-Fiona Apple "A Mistake"
btw that shit about not being able to attract a man after 25 is HORSESHIT, I met my love of my life at 41...and when I was younger all I met were assholes...women are like wine, they just get better with time...check that you young ass byatches...
the thing about a wedding, is it is not to supercede the actual marriage...a marriage is what it is all about...staying together no matter fucking what..and love the other right down to their dirty drawers...not this bullshit of a million dollar plus wedding, filming your very short honeymoon and then going to fucking Saudi Arabia with your fucking mother!!! When I saw that I KNEW this was a sham...who the fuck goes on a long trip, especially when your husbands entire profession is in a lockout and he definately has time on his hands..but the ultimate worse was when this ho had her mom at her bachelorette party...really seriously who the fuck does that?? MY mom would die if I just got married and then drug her along with me on a trip, or perish the thought having anything to do with my bachelorette party..cause my Mom is a real mom, not a fucking pimp. Did I mention how much I LOATHE this fake, fraudulent, phoney and pissed on family...I can't even like on the younger ones now cause their momma is such a disgusting pimp.
Submitted by SitInACorner on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 1:34pm.
Can't she at least pick dudes that are worth knowing? I've never heard of any of these hoes except Reggie Bush. Is she that desperate to be the main bitch in a relationship? These celebrities marrying athletes are doing it all wrong! Bag you an Aaron Rodgers and then I'll be impressed. Same with that Kendra bitch, Hank what'shisnuts sucks shit at football.
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You know that Kim is pissed that Kloe married Lamar Odom. He at least is a basketball player you have heard of...but Kris Humpries? Never heard of him.
Kim and Humpries don't seem like a real couple at all, so I absolutely believe all the fake marriage talk. They look very forced and stiff when the are together. She definitely doesn't seem into him. And in these photos she looks more like his mother than his wife. They just don't fit.
Submitted by Hoegarten on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 2:01pm.
What's so bad about shopping for a husband? Isn't it like an arranged marriage? She wanted to have a wedding in her prime, and its very hard to attract a man after 26. That's the reality. It's the realest thing she has done.
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You're being sarcastic right?
"When I'm good I'm very good but when I'm bad I'm better." ~Mae West
Submitted by letinstar on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 10:37am.
unless that italian dude had a drop of black blood, it was never gonna happen anyways...
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So true!!! She know good and well that she only likes black dick and only black dick likes her...Kim K is TRASH!!!!
What's so bad about shopping for a husband? Isn't it like an arranged marriage? She wanted to have a wedding in her prime, and its very hard to attract a man after 26. That's the reality. It's the realest thing she has done.
Remember in the 90's when people said "hey, its the 90s right?"
Humpfries got cro magnon baby face and this guy got sucker, gay baby face.
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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
Can't she at least pick dudes that are worth knowing? I've never heard of any of these hoes except Reggie Bush. Is she that desperate to be the main bitch in a relationship? These celebrities marrying athletes are doing it all wrong! Bag you an Aaron Rodgers and then I'll be impressed. Same with that Kendra bitch, Hank what'shisnuts sucks shit at football.
*tucks girl penis back under skirt*
This dude looks like a Mario Lopez/K.D. Lange lovechild. And 23, my GOD! Bitch we know you're THIRTY no matter how hard you try.
"1. You can't spell FAKE without a K"
LMAO!!!! Amen! That should be the name of the inevitable new reality show.
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I refreshed the page and my PENIS WAS GONE! -- SugarFreeRedBull, MicroPenis Advocate
This comes as no surprise. Those skanks are pretty shameless when it comes to exploiting themselves and others to keep their fame whore machine moving. Kim was all, "but this is my dream wedding." in a clip I saw of her and Kris having an argument about the wedding. She seemed like an even bigger selfish shrew than she normally is. And considering this isn't her first time down the aisle, she shouldn't be acting like it. She and her sisters from whatever clips I've seen treat him like shit and get all offended when he calls a spade a spade (e.g. when he calls her out on her cuntish buffoonery). Everything about their union just seemed like one huge ratings grab from the get go. I don't know why the hell Humphreys went through with it, but I just hope he wakes up quick and files to have that marriage annulled under fraud.
Submitted by jackie on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 12:10pm.
@anonymous
Yea ill agree to that, they are nutless lol, except for lamar. He seems like he would draw the line if khloe went too far.
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Lamar is a good guy. He's not into the whole Kardashian thing--he's an NBA player who happen yo fall for klohe. He seems like he really loves her and has taken on a big brother role to Rob.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
So pathetic...this chick had a casting session to get a husband. Reggie Bush dodged a bullet & Kris Humphries wishes he had one.
Submitted by Evil_Cupcake on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:33am.
What is up with this site today????
Its possesed by demons.
Fuck 500 - Internal Server Error!!!
I give up.
Submitted by Athina on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:59am.
Submitted by erinlee on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:22am.
i think this marriage will be the downfall of kim's "fame". he isn't good looking or famous in his own right so they will not be a "power couple" like she would have had with reggie bush.
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Reggie was smart and was hip to the Kuntrashian ho stroll from the very beginning. I think he genuinely cared about Kim at first, but the more fame got to her and her family, the more turned off he became. He saw how incredibly fake she is. Reggie is a genuine superstar and an A-List athlete. He knew the Kuntrashians would just bring him down and basically make a mockery out of his life. He was advised to stay away by his management and agents. Kris Humphries wasn't as smart and got sucked in and now he is nothing but a laughing stock.
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Miles Austin of the Dallas Cowboys got hip to the game quick. They dated for a few weeks before he dumped her. She cried some crocodile tears but Miles made it clear that he was not downnwoth her lifestyle.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
the whole fucking family creeps me out and this Kris guy must be dumber than dirt to have gone along with this fuckery. buyer's remorse? tough titty-mouse, ya idiot.
@anonymous
Yea ill agree to that, they are nutless lol, except for lamar. He seems like he would draw the line if khloe went too far.
Submitted by erinlee on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:22am.
i think this marriage will be the downfall of kim's "fame". he isn't good looking or famous in his own right so they will not be a "power couple" like she would have had with reggie bush.
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Reggie was smart and was hip to the Kuntrashian ho stroll from the very beginning. I think he genuinely cared about Kim at first, but the more fame got to her and her family, the more turned off he became. He saw how incredibly fake she is. Reggie is a genuine superstar and an A-List athlete. He knew the Kuntrashians would just bring him down and basically make a mockery out of his life. He was advised to stay away by his management and agents. Kris Humphries wasn't as smart and got sucked in and now he is nothing but a laughing stock.
Submitted by MissJaneTexas on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:28am.
Awww. I have suede thigh high boots and I love them. EVERYTHING is made for tall people. It's annoying.
*waits for UVY to call me midget pirate*
*****
IT'S NO FUN FOR ME IF YOU SAY IT FIRST, BOOSTER SEAT!
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Try to be original, like the Colonel Sanders (may he rest in peace with his secret spices and shit). - urmomma
Submitted by erinlee: "i read in one of the rags that the prenup is basically..kim gets like half of kris' money in a divorce but he gets none of hers. what kind of idiot guy signs that (if it is true)"
*brain is sputtering and sparking - STUPIDITY OVERLOAD!*
WHO would sign that kind of crap? WHO? That can't be right. What kind of lawyers would advise a client that a contract like that is acceptable? Didn't he have a lawyer?
And if he did sign a pre-nup like that, he deserves whatever he gets. GAH!!!
Submitted by erinlee: "i read in one of the rags that the prenup is basically..kim gets like half of kris' money in a divorce but he gets none of hers. what kind of idiot guy signs that (if it is true)"
*brain is sputtering and sparking - STUPIDITY OVERLOAD!*
WHO would sign that kind of crap? WHO? That can't be right. What kind of lawyers would advise a client that a contract like that is acceptable? Didn't he have a lawyer?
And if he did sign a pre-nup like that, he deserves whatever he gets. GAH!!!
NEXT!! Posts are boring.
Submitted by jackie on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:39am.
And why do people insult kris when he seems way cooler and smarter than kim. Actually id hang with every guy on that show, scott, lamar, kris and bruce and even rob, before hanging out with the women.
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Meh . . . I go back and forth with those men. On one hand, maybe pimp mama kris locks them up each night in a dungeon that is guarded by Chewbacca as she snacks on their cut off nutsacks, and, on the other hand, maybe they really enjoy their guilded cages. It's more likely the latter though, so that's why I don't really like them either.
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"He had an okay body. Not fat at all. And naturally toned abs. She could pour a shot of tequila down his belly and slurp it out of his navel without getting splashed in the face." - A Shore Thing, by the
damn, this thing is impossible to log into today...18th time the charm...Kim Whoretrashian is really not worth all this effort...but I saw this fuckery somewhere else, and this Satant worshipping family is so disgusting...why bother with a fake ass wedding, he looks like he is on the verge of puking every day, and she is more interested in wearing fur (another reason to loathe this cunt), and pretending to care about being a wife...she is the WORSE EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN AND EVEN WORSER(SORRY I MADE THAT WORD UP) EXCUSE FOR A WIFE!!! Why fake it so much whore...we all know everything you do is for you and attention...go somewhere and get what is really coming your way a golden shower by the entire NBA and NFL, you know you want it cunt!!
If I get this fucking Fatal Error thing one more time Ima gonna climb the nearest bell tower and start taking pot shots at people.
And why do people insult kris when he seems way cooler and smarter than kim. Actually id hang with every guy on that show, scott, lamar, kris and bruce and even rob, before hanging out with the women.
Can't wait til Gaycrest's house of cards comes crumbling down as well.
Too bad Kim ended up with Special Ed instead of this hottie!
What is up with this site today????
I found out where she got the vest!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2G4ombbDq5k
kiss my ass 500 internal server error!!!!!!!!!
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Awww. I have suede thigh high boots and I love them. EVERYTHING is made for tall people. It's annoying.
*waits for UVY to call me midget pirate*
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You really have to side clap and pucker for a piece who can stand next to a white feather and out-gay it. - MK 8/3/2011
I just can't with the Kuntdouchians..
_____________________对您的和平_____________________
F*ck youth, how about a fountain of smart..
Im pretty sure Gallo is either engaged or recently married and he is really into his girl, he's a good kid not into celebrity shit
LOL, thorny!
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011
*feels very very very sorry for trashywilma* omgah but lol @ that tard of a co-worker!
lmao @ jack's reply 2 hekki.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
i read in one of the rags that the prenup is basically..kim gets like half of kris' money in a divorce but he gets none of hers. what kind of idiot guy signs that (if it is true)
i think this marriage will be the downfall of kim's "fame". he isn't good looking or famous in his own right so they will not be a "power couple" like she would have had with reggie bush.
choosing kris and her quicky engagement made her look desperate. they also do not appear compatible or in love. the only thing kim had going for her was her "hotness" (gag) and by being married to an oaf she even loses points on that for settling.
i'm ready to see an end to the kardashian reign of terror. i also hope to NEVER see kate gosselin in the spotlight again. i'd rather have paris hilton everywhere again over those picks and that's saying a lot.
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Thu, 10/27/2011 - 11:12am.
I love how this former "stylist" (kim) wears things that are too small, or boots that are made for TALL PEOPLE.
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I’m no “stylist” but I am a fellow Shorty myself and have the common sense to not wear shit that is going to make me look shorter, this bitch has none!
I’m also guessing that she has those people in her inner circle that say “yeah, you look great!” to make her look like crap, cus that’s what I would do to this skank ass.
Wilma: People like that make my head want to explode!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11