Two Very Good Reasons For Hating The Superman Make-Up Artist

Here’s Henry Cavill on the Vancouver set of Superman: Man of Steel and here’s the two reasons why that make-up artist is Supergirl to my Saleeeeeeena:

1. THIS BITCH gets to write on her 2011 tax returns that one of her full-time jobs for this year was to spray WD-40 on Henry Cavill’s nipples and smear grease all over furry pectacles until he looked like one of the rock hard pieces of blackened lung that Keith Richards hacks up after serving his 1 millionth cigarette for the day.

You really haven’t successfully achieved professional greatness until human resources calls you into the office to say: “We need you to stop licking your lips and winking as you apply liquid dirt to Mr. Cavill’s upper buttocks area. It’s inappropriate. Also, we’re going to need to confiscate your locker of all the body hairs you sneakily stole off of Mr. Cavill’s chest.”

2. When the light hits her hair against the green screen, it looks like a fall of sparkling ginger is gracefully trickling off of her head.

I mean, ginge (I think) and a full-time job as Henry Cavill’s body greaser? What an obnoxious way of flaunting that you were Mother Fucking Theresa in your past life.