Lindsay Lohan Will Be Every Kind Of Naked In Playboy
Anybody who can’t handle a raw bone-in chicken without thinking that it needs more freckles, smegma stains, coke clots and extra skin has already smeared their retinas on Lindsay Lohan’s “check for cash” (copyright: Wildwood, N.J.) in paparazzi pictures. But you’re about to get an encore performance, because TMZ is hearing that LiLo bares her titties, twat and ass in the spread that Playboy paid her almost $1 million for.
A source claims that one rumor going around that LiLo only went semi-nude is completely untrue, because the shoot just wrapped up yesterday and as the cameras were clicking she spread her legs and answered the question: “I wonder what it would look like if the Slim Jim Man rolled around in a cave full of rancid roast beef slices while wearing a bodysuit made of scabs?”
Lindsay Lohan has legal bills to pay and A CHECK IS A CHECK, so I say release the beast and get your money, bitch. Hundreds of tricks do this on a daily basis and do they collect a stack of bills for it? No. LiLo is boosting the economy with her chocha and containing all the flies in one place at the same time.
And to quote White Oprah: “Baby, you should pose for a $1 million spread in Playboy Magazine the same way you came into this world: naked and crying!”