One way to cleanse the brain’s palate of the vomitous picture of Justin Bieber using his hands as Selena Gomez’s training bra is with a PUPPY, and that’s what she gave us yesterday in London, Ontario. People says that Selena was missing her dog friends at home, so she brought Justin to an animal shelter in Winnipeg and together they adopted a 10-week-old husky that she named Baylor. Baylor will live on the bus with Selena as she tours through Canada.
Today is Toddler Appreciation Day, so I have no shade to douse Justin and Selena with. Baylor is the best thing to come out of the unholy couple that NO! built and I hope that he quickly learns that eyelids aren’t just natural sleep shades for your face. They’re also there for when your eyeballs need to escape the sight of your two moms going from first base to gross base right in front of you. Now, I’m going to slide out the dog door before I make a peanut butter joke.