From Melissa Gorga To Melissa Gorda

October 24, 2011 / Posted by:

Aaaaaand add this to the long list of shit we can blame Tyra for.

On the left is Melissa Gorga, the tone-deaf trophy wife of Teresa Giudice’s (aka Gorilla Head) brother on The Real Housewives on New Jersey. On the right is Melissa Gorga wearing a recycled low-budget fat suit and a droopy prosthetic chin for one of those useless social experiment episodes of Entertainment Tonight. We know how this is going to go. Melissa is going to cry about how everyone stared at her and treated her differently when she had on the fat suit, and once she transforms back into a vapid skinny bitch she’ll treat fat people with kindness. Or some other jack off hand motion like that.

Bitch, people aren’t staring at you, because you’re fat and have a camera crew following you. They’re throwing you scared looks, because you don’t even have a human body. People don’t look like that. You look like a bag of melted caramel marshmallows after a Pepto-Bismol bottle shat all over it. Not to mention that your chin is about to unlock from your head and fall to the sidewalk to be devoured by pigeons. Eric Stoltz in Mask, you are not!

I’m all for ET conducting one of these social experiments even though they have been done a thousand times before and are so played out that even Fishsticks Paltrow’s stupid ass did it in a movie, but couldn’t they have spent more money on a better fat suit? The Bed, Bath and Beyond plastic bags full of 4 pillows that I carried on the subway this past weekend would’ve made a better fat suit than that piece of shit crap on her body. A STUNT QUEEN with a pauper budget is the worst.

Massive Mocha, please squash this dumb bitch.

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