It’s A Baby Benicio Del Toro!

October 24, 2011 / Posted by:

As Kristin Davis and the daughter she adopted a couple of weeks ago get pushed to the side, Kimbo Stewart poses with the baby girl she made with Benicio Del Toro during a drunken night of romance when they ignored what their pack leaders said and gladly partook in wolf and mare sex. One of my friends (Yes, I have one of those. And yes, she only appears to me in a cloud of bong smoke.) said that Kimbo’s daughter Delilah looks like her Ukrainian grandma sans a head scarf and a lip mole that resembles a piece of ground beef. But to me, Delilah looks exactly like Benicio in the face. Delilah is even howling out yonder and eying the landscape for squirrels to catch. Just like her daddy! Kimbo told Hello! that she thinks her baby looks Benicio-ish in the face and that he’s involved in his daughter’s life (translation: the check clears every month):

“The whole family, including Benicio, was at the hospital and my mom and Benicio were in the delivery room with me. Benicio’s very involved, he and Delilah have a very special bond. I named her after the Tom Jones song, as I’d always loved that. She definitely looks like her dad, but she has my legs and eye colour.”

Saying shit like “she has my legs” is better than saying “she has my ass,” which I’ve seen on Facebook before from a fucked up individual (I am not naming names). So either Kimbo has short, stubby roly poly legs that smell like Johnson’s or Delilah has long furry legs made for stompin’ snakes. I’m going to say it’s the first one.

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