Bai Ling's New Song Is Not Of This World
Warning: Pressing play on Bai Ling's new song called "Rehab" will probably alert our future alien overlords to your whereabouts and when they land on the planet to make us their sex slaves you'll be the first one who gets shackled and probed.
Second warning: Pressing play on Bai Ling's new song called "Rehab" will scramble your ear drums and brainwash you into worshiping at the altar of her (NSFW) Hershey kiss cookie nipples.
You know, I'm just going to throw it out there and say that Bai Ling is covering Amy Winehouse and it sounds nothing like the original, because she's warped it in the sun, rung it through the fuckery ringer and played it backwards. This is seriously WHAT THE FUCK'S theme song. If there was a satanic ritual at a rave involving choked chickens and slaughtered goats, this is probably what it would sound like. That probably explains why a pentagram drawn in donkey's blood suddenly appeared on my living room wall as soon as I finished listening to this mess.
(Thanks Raluca)
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I LOVES me some Bai Ling. Crazy bitch. Did you see the movie Crank 2? Hottest boobs ever.
I am...doll parts...bad skin...doll heart.
Didn't anybody tell her that she needed to have been married to John Lennon before she could try and get away with this shit?
I wish only the best for Bai. She had a hard childhood and I hope she keeps on the straight and narrow.
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Visit my husband's webcomic DUNGEON HORDES at http://www.drunkduck.com/dungeon_hordes
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May I say that what makes her one of the most narcissistic people ever is her need to constantly be seen, now heard. She said "i told the world i was molested so i can help others, and then quickly stopped talking about it cuz CHina told her she'd never act again." So really it comes down to survival in the entertainment world.
She is writing a book - sure she is. Now she is "making music." Bai Ling is delusional. And she blames everyone, including the press, for her declining career. But the press didn't ask her to do all the stuff she's done. The only way to heal is for her to accept responsibility for her part -
Hahaha... before pressing 'play', I thought MK was exaggerating when describing the song...
I like Bai-Ling, but this song sounds like a Mad TV skit where Miss Swan finds a stolen laptop with Garageband software on it.
Um... wut?
I got to 20 seconds, and went "yeah. No."
I got to 20 seconds, and went "yeah. No."
yes, ITa with everyone, she had a really fucked up life, it's not so easy to laugh at her after CR. Compared to the other stupid celeb's issues, she has real problems (see my previous post re MBLO)
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
acatnamedfrank IDK but when she was on Celeb Rehab she "escaped" and climbed on to the roof and was running around up there while stupid DR Drew was all "Bai come down!"
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
OK serious question... is she making fun of Lilo in this song?? She says things about being on the rooftop, no drinking, no smoking, dancing with my sober friends...
...how long until beyonce/gaga steal this fuckery and say its their own?
I'm sitting here with my cat, when the song started he sat up looking around to see what it was, but...
He seems to like it! It wasn't like his reaction to that Stodden "song" which he reacted to like we were in an episode of The Haunted on Animal Planet. So this will be played again, and I can't hate Bai for all the reasons mentioned, and I don't recall her doing anyone else harm unlike some of the psychos we talk about here. Gee, I'm losing my bitch.... Can we talk about Lilo in Playboy?---------------------------------------------------
Honestly Officer...
I think it's kinda cool actually and I was ready to rip on it but it has a real slinky feel to it.
Bai is no doubt a wacky chick but she actually has some very serious acting chops. I've seen her in a few movies and was thinking DAMN this chick is actually really good.
That's the worst song I've heard since Cliff Richard's 'Milennium Prayer'. 11 years.
OK, so I can finally listen to this now that I've got sp3 and all my audio drivers installed, and all I can say is...
HAHAHHAHAHA!!
It IS What the Fuck's theme song.
I kinda like this mess in a strange way though.
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
My 4 birds went berserk chirping when I played this. Gave me the heebie jeebies, personally.
she kinda reminds me of Sainko Namtchylak's 'stepmother city' album but without the Tuvan throat singing, i think i like this track me,
i can't hate on her, for reasons other sluts posted. this is pretty damn weird, but no more weird than some music ive heard from asian countries, or even (as mentioned before me) yoko ono. all i saw when id see her on celeb rehab was a broken little girl, so i wish her well.
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A baby's first words should not be: "DEATH DON'T TAKE ME NOW!!!" - MK
sounds like the tranny who sings at Saigon Restaurant after hour karaoke
Submitted by mharker on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 6:59pm.
And when she got pregnant, she was forced to have an abortion on top of it all.
I'm amazed this poor woman isn't even more fucked up than she is. I feel so sorry for her, and I hope she's gotten some good therapy over the years. Even a craptastic song can't change that.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
Circuit party in LA or Miami, lotsa drugs. It might sound OK then.
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I was entirely unaware of how sucky it would get.
- Gautama.
Me no rikey.
@lovelylaney
That's a nice Yoko story. I was actually a bit obsessed with her as a child. I saw her on tv with John and I asked my mom all kinds of questions about her. She intrigues me. Still does. I was a toddler when the Beatles broke up so I never had much hate for her. I also do an amazing imitation of her singing and speaking. She seems to have a good sense of humor and really was a mover and shaker in avant garde art.
WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT!?
This sounded like a drugged out tone-deaf Yoko Ono (Granted I'm pretty sure Yoko One IS tone-deaf, so it should be tone-deaf-er) talking about random uninteresting shit over the phone with her gynecologist.
B!i!i!iD~
For your health.
@Zorba
I play Beautiful Boy off of Double Fantasy for my son all the time (when he's good - reference the fat pepto bismol chick post) and I sing with him to it. Totally blocked out all of the Yoko stuff from that album until you brought it up but we used to scream along to Yoko too on that album - my twin bro and myself as our weirdo 11 year old selves and the dogs and cats would look at us funny! :)
ETA: Also, Yoko was so not a Diva that day. She gave us a wicked side smirk like she was happy we recognized her and probably could tell we weren't gonna like kill her or anything.
Submitted by lovelylaney on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 7:04pm.
That's cool you saw Yoko and she wasn't a diva. "Double Fantasy" was in my parents' album collection when I was a kid, and my sister and I used to howl at the Yoko songs. They kinda freaked me out, actually. The funny thing is the songs are weird but memorable, and I still remember many of the lyrics and Yoko's banshee-like warbling. "It's a long, long story to te-e-ellll, and I can only show you my hell." Stuff like that :)
@Zorba...I will call you Ms. Swan (he lookalikaman) :)
OMG I forgot about that song on Double Fantasy! I had that album when i was 11 (COUGH) I'm old. Yes.
I saw Yoko in 1991 in Central Park. Right near Strawberry Fields. No one noticed her. I did a double take and walked with my two friends for a bit behind her. She turned around, and slid her glasses down a bit and smiled. We smiled back and turned back to where we where beforehand. We didn't really think we were stalking her, we just wanted to see if it really was her; and it was! Nice to know she walks that park still and I'm sure she thinks about John all the time. I believe she really did love John with all of her heart.
I just hope she stays sober. She's kind of sad.
I still can't get the image of her on Celebrity Rehab out of my mind. I mean, Jesus Christ, this woman was in the People's Liberation Army as a child where her officers sexually abused her. She was some kind of musical theater entertainer there, so there's another story of a messed up former child actor, too.
As far as the song goes, it just sounds like Chinese music.
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Silly rabbit.
She's actually a pretty decent actress in Asian movies. But Yoko, she ain't!
Gimme something that's not cold, come on, come on, come on!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jubE4zhoFro
Submitted by lovelylaney on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 5:44pm.
Number 9
Number 9
Yoko called, she wants her vocals back Bai!
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Lol! Yoko owns that shit. No one does fingernails on the blackboard, wet cat screeching vocals like Yoko.
Submitted by sinjin on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 5:36pm.
Submitted by Migraineuse :Skanks. Horz.
I have just spent the last 2 days coping with a damn rootkit which infected my system
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I read this far and thought you'd gotten an infection from dying your roots with one of those kits,lol, then I realized it was techy stuff...
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Me too! HA HA HA!
I think her nipples are sexy-as.
Shut up you ugly poo-faced git!
My dear ho.
My username originated after I got sick of being called a Migraineur. Migraineur is a male-gendered word.
Migraineuse is the female version. It could then be deduced that I am in fact a proud possessor of XX chromosomes.
Strangely I've been accused before of being a dude; it seems that people assume that hyperlogical geeks like me must be male, 'cause the girls are too busy curling their hair and plastering on makeup to pay much attention to either Tesla coils or social justice. HA! I say.
P.S. I got sp2 now, which has broken all my antivirus software.
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
Is that bitch Justine Timberdouche not using auto tune again? jeeezus...
Number 9
Number 9
Yoko called, she wants her vocals back Bai!
@ME LOL for the ENGRISH :)
Sounds like bad background music from dreams I used to have back in the day when I used to take ciba and codeine.
Submitted by Migraineuse :Skanks. Horz.
I have just spent the last 2 days coping with a damn rootkit which infected my system
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I read this far and thought you'd gotten an infection from dying your roots with one of those kits,lol, then I realized it was techy stuff...then I got a confuzzle thinking..."Wait, isn't Migraineuse a guy?" (*runs away screaming with headache)
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
:41 seconds was all i could take.
It does sound just like Amy Winehouse! When she was high on crack at 2 am with Blaaaake, that is.
Nigella and Jamie ain't got shit on Titli !
http://titlisbusykitchen.com/
Submitted by IrishFury on Mon, 10/24/2011 - 5:11pm.
I know she had a really tough life before fame but shut the hell up anyway. Bless her.
Cosign.
P.S. Can't listen to Bai Ling till I have my graphic card drivers running, but I'm sure I'm not missing anything, so meh.
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
ENGRISH MUTHAFUCKAH!
I could not understand anything other than "I just got out of rehab"
*uses metal skewer to jab out ear drums*
Skanks. Horz.
I have just spent the last 2 days coping with a damn rootkit which infected my system and made me have to delete my entire C partition. Then I reinstalled Windows, which would have been easy had I stuck to my dearly beloved Win2k...but no, I had to upgrade to XP at last.
After buying a new dvd burner and using 5 different partially burned discs, I have now managed to get WinXp sp1 partially installed on this computer...enough to write this desperate post.
The guy in the store asked me (in broken English) was I going to install Windows 7. HAH! I spit on your modern bloatware!
WinXP is too modern for me, even.
*curls up in a ball by the computer desk, and waits for sp2 to install*.
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
OMG, this is seriously the best new music I have heard in a long long time. This is very innovative and captures the feeling of the times perfectly. I think this will eventually become known as one of the greatest songs of all time!!
I said, no, no, no!
Is there such a thing as ear bleach? Because I TOTALLY need it now. WTF is right. I'd rather listen to Yoko Ono caterwauling in a bag, FFS...
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She sounds like a hoarse Pia Zadora on XTC!