The trailer for St. Angie’s directorial debut In The Land of Blood & Honey (or In The Land of Blood & HUUUUUUNTY as my favorite YouTube star will undoubtedly call it) is here and watching it will make you ejaculate sunshine and burp up warm hearts. Of course, I mean it will make you do the opposite of that since this looks about as dark and depressing as how I’m going to spend my Friday night (hint: crying on the toilet while eating frozen grapes will happen at one point). If you don’t want to go there, then the only way to watch this trailer is to hit mute and let the musical masterpiece below be its only soundtrack.
Collider says that this feel good movie of the holiday season is about a Serbian soldier (let’s call him Private Brag Tipp) who falls in love with a Muslim prisoner (let’s call her Angela Jolli) and the two struggle to keep their love together as the war (let’s call it The Anistonian War) he’s forced to fight in tries to tear them apart. Sound familiar? Subtle bitch is subtle as always. The reviews are in and here’s just a few:
“A cinematic triumph that exquisitely uses the perfect metaphor to explore the heartbreaking struggles between Brangelina and Jennifer Aniston. You know, the only war any of us care about.” – Next week’s cover of Star Magazine
“This trailer is really uncool.” – Beanie Babies Weekly
“Michael, you’re stretching that plot out so much that it’s almost as loose as your asshole.” – You