Hobo Jesus On The Lack Of Honesty And Integrity In The Media, Or Something

Ashton Kutcher had 4 minutes to spare on Wednesday and he had two choices on how to spend that time: take a crash course on how to put on a condom before fucking his side whores; or let out a long-winded douche hole rambling monologue on chime.in about how the media needs gatekeepers and how the printer is out of paper. AssStain went with the second choice, the WRONG choice, and I don’t even know what came out of his mouth.

Ashton’s brain gargled all of his thoughts and then his mouthed queefed a giant load of meaningless crap. Ashton not only looks like a homeless conspiracy theorist who rattles on about sneaky clouds when you put a quarter in his cup, but he also talks like one too. This is the gist of what poured out of Ashton’s colostomy bag mouth:

“I started thinking (Ed note: You should’ve stopped there) about that in relation to social media and media today. The threshold to have literature printed and distributed — the cost structure went down to zero dollars. Thereby, there is no gatekeeper of the truth. We are our own editors, and our own publishers. We are our own printers. Therefore people can bastardize the truth in any way, shape or truth they want.

We really have to take it upon ourselves to instill a level of honesty in our works and the media we create and we share with each other. And be certain we are doing our own diligence to ensure what we’re saying is for the benefit of another…using our full capacity to share the truth.“

Let me fix that for you, Ashton. “We are our own editors, and our own publishers. We are our own printers. Therefore people can release a 4-minute-long fart of distraction to mask the scent of the cooch cream they raw dog fucked out of the trick they cheated on their wife with.”

P.S. – I thought about Ashton’s deep words, and if I was a printer, I’d totally be a broken Epson.

via HuffPo