Pull Joey Lawrence's Wax Figure Out Of The Sun! It's Melting!

If you molded a Raven from RuPaul's Drag Race statue out of Kellan Lutz's hard ripped shits (yes, even his shits have a six-pack on them), Madge's escapee arm veins and Jodie Marsh's old face, then covered it with whatever you cover a Barbie with, threw a chestnut-colored FLOR tile on its head and pinched its face until it looked like it was trying to push out a fart through its nipple holes, you'd have Joey Lawrence in a completely natural and not-at-all staged glamour shoot in the middle of a West Hollywood park the other day.

If you unplugged those plugs and dropped a miniature beret on top of his head, he'd be the white Blaine Edwards! Three snaps toward a bottle of Pepto-B, because Joey looks like he has the runs and is trying to hold in a butt plug at the same time (the butt plug is winning). LOVED-ED IT!

Hair plug maintenance, weekly body fur removal and anus tinting don't pay for themselves, so flex your way to that money, bitch. Let the flames of jealousy shooting off of your haters' eyes singe your stray brow hairs so they stay looking like they just stepped off of the face of a Disney evil queen. Twerk, werk, whoa!

Bauer Griffin

Posted by: Michael K

•

Submitted by madam s. on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:40am.

Ew. Greased up, waxed, and overly-worked out. Just no.

Submitted by guest on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:39am.

*chirps* lol.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by bornready on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:35am.

grrrrrr!

2 words: Power. Bottom.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:33am.

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:58am.
HOT STICKY DICK IN MY MOUTH WHOOAAA!!! GETTING MY DAD PREGNANT! WHOAA! that fucking show sucked btw, didn't she get laid once in an episode or something? and all those fucking hats she wore.
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I hated all those stupid shows.... especially those HATS!
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011

Submitted by But_Im_A_Member on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:32am.

He's only 5'2?!?! He must look mighty funny in person.

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:31am.

Submitted by guest on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:59am.
...my pleasure...

^^^^^^^^^^^

You dirty birdy!

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:30am.

You just know the guy who took these pics was thinking "What a flaming idiot" the entire time.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by guest on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:29am.

lol whamo. my pleasure & you are welcome. :)

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:29am.

Lilo has shown up early
*side eyes Jacko*

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:28am.

HOT STICKY DICK IN MY MOUTH WHOOAAA!!! GETTING MY DAD PREGNANT! WHOAA! that fucking show sucked btw, didn't she get laid once in an episode or something? and all those fucking hats she wore.

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Submitted by stinkbutt on Mon, 03/29/2010 - 5:47pm.
suckandfuck, do us all a favor, and hang yourself. Oh, and your parents should be shot for raising a disgusting pig like yourself.

Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:25am.

LMAo @ the picture!
I always had a crush on the other brother (so did Blossom, I just read an interview with her the other day and she said that) I am FB friends with him and everything, LOL

Rotten Egg he was Blossom's brother

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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:25am.

Submitted by guest on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:49am.
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eeeeeewwwwww. lol

Thanks??

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Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:46am.
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You KNOW I lurves you too doggie!

Submitted by guest on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:19am.

whamo...

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?defid=1131015&term=power+botto...

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:17am.

Ok guys like WHOOOAAA like those papparazzzoo, like WHOOAAA were like hidin in the trees. I can't get a minute of privacy WHOOOAA I'm so ghey.
_____________________________________________
"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:16am.

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:45am.
OK guys don't laugh at me but what the fuck is a "power bottom" ?

^^^^^^^^

Joey Lawrence! Duh.

Ah lurves yoo, Whamo!

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:15am.

OK guys don't laugh at me but what the fuck is a "power bottom" ?

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:14am.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:36am.
He's supposed to be straight??? This photo begs to differ: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3426/3255242779_ccfb6362d9.jpg

^^^^^^^^^^^^

He actually looks better in this pic than the ones of him in the park.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Whamo on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:13am.

OK he's in great shape thanks to a few CCs of some sort of bull semen steroid, nut shrinking juice but whats the use of looking good if ultimately you're acting skills are that of a retarded monkey. (sorry to all the non-retard atom splitting, chess playing monkeys out there)

It's kinda like putting square wheels on a Ferrari.

Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:12am.

WHOA. Anyone else think the banner pic looks like Bruce Willis, the Moonlighting years?

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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:11am.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:36am.

He's supposed to be straight??? This photo begs to differ: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3426/3255242779_ccfb6362d9.jpg
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oololo WHHOAAA!

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:11am.

Not Impressed: LOL at that photo. Yes, I vaguely remembered that bald/weird eyebrown phase, but until I saw that photo, I forgot how fuckered it was!

Yeah, his bod looks good, but the rest of it is NOT GOOD.

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:10am.

He was so natural and boyish. I could have NEVER predicted that he'd turn into some weird waxy power bottom. He should have never messed with his face.
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by mike on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:10am.

He's like the non-Hispanic, less successful version of Mario Lopez.

That is not a compliment.

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:09am.

He looks like Gay Ken, only more plastic.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by rotten_egg on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:08am.

He doesn't look bad body-wise, but his face sucks and so does his posing. But who's this guy?.

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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.

Submitted by sandyisdandy on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:07am.

Bitch wishes he looked as good as Raven. A beauty that natural can only come around once a generation.

Submitted by snowball on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:09am.

Is there a soundtrack that goes along with these pictures? Because they cry out for something sort of 70s porn-tastic.

My standards can be appallingly low, but based on these pictures, NO I WOULD NOT.

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Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 8:36am.
He's supposed to be straight??? This photo begs to differ: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3426/3255242779_ccfb6362d9.jpg

^^^^^^He's looking a little Vin Diesel in the face in that picture. ^^^^^^

Submitted by NOT IMPRESSED on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:06am.

He's supposed to be straight??? This photo begs to differ: http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3426/3255242779_ccfb6362d9.jpg
_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Douchechill!

Submitted by Chirio on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:05am.

I had a crush on him back in the day. *blushes and leaves*

Coma Caca!
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Submitted by snowpiece on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:02am.

WTH did he do to his adorable face!!?!? WHOA!

****************************
"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11

Submitted by suckandfuck on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:02am.

hey that's really great Joey but how big yo dick is?

Submitted by MadgesVadge on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:01am.

Considering my entire bedroom was wallpapered with Joey Lawrence posters from Bop Magazine as a teen, I give this a resounding, I SO WOULD.

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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom

Submitted by I Humped Gumby on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:01am.

THERE'S SOMETHING WRONG WITH HIS FACE.

What is it?

Submitted by Twas Brillig on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:00am.

He has had A TON of work done over the years. It was looking pretty good until recently. How hot was he on DWTS? He was bald then and it worked.

Homegirl needs to let those eyebrows grow out and be glorious. And lay off the needles and lifts, after a certain point men just start looking femme. See: TommyGirl, Liz Hurley's piece.

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 7:00am.

What is the point of a man who looks like he's made out of Silly Putty in poses that even Ricky Martin would find too gay? And before you slam me, if you saw the pics of Marting doing "yoga" on the beach with his "friend" a few years back then you know what I'm talking about.

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by Oxygen on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:59am.

Whoa. Great body. Butttt...wouldn't do it. He'll always remind of "the best guy friend" type of dewd.

Submitted by ethang on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:55am.

I still would.

Submitted by guest on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:55am.

shave your head joey & my vote'll be an 8.

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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.

Submitted by Migraineuse on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:55am.

Nice use of a flash fill.

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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen

Submitted by lastdiva on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:54am.

We're all the same height when we're lying down. And yes, I would.
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"That's an awfully high horse sir, may I pet him?"

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:54am.

The BOWFLEX will give you unimaginably and insanely ripped abs in a matter of HOURS!! CALL NOW FOR THIS AMAZING OFFER!!!!

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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Submitted by Hekki on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:53am.

What? Except for the hair, I think he looks good.

Submitted by Violet on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:51am.

is that spray on hair?

Submitted by TOPANGA on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:46am.

He's short, but I probably still would,just cause. *shrugs*
____________________________________
"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

Submitted by letinstar on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:45am.

isn't "whoa" only five foot two?
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by Dog on Fri, 10/21/2011 - 6:44am.

Working out and trying to appear masculine doesn't make you straight, Bullet Head.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org