Afternoon Crumbs

“Yes, I will bareback fuck you in a San Diego hotel room,” said Ashton Kutcher to the forever fan whose beautiful tattoo was obviously written by a spambot – Videogum

If you hate your job and are looking for a job that you hate more to show you that your current job isn’t that bad, go work for GOOP! – Lainey Gossip

The only thing this tells me is that Shia LaDouche needs a stunt double at all times – The Superficial

Weston Cage has a crazy way of showing the world that he’s not crazy – Celebitchy

Matt Bomer needs help with getting his goods into a thong – Towleroad

I am ashamed to admit how many times I called a 555 number as a child. And by “child” I mean yesterday. – The Daily What

Miranda Kerr uses that old trick of hugging her bare boobs to sell jeans – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Rosie Huntington-Whitely uses that old trick of cupping her bare boobs to sell magazines – (site NSFW) Hollywood Tuna

Zachary Quinto is not using that old trick of cupping his bare boobs to sell this picture, but I wish he did – Just Jared

Another day, another set of pictures of a knocked up Beyonce walking her unborn golden child into a building – Popsugar

Amanda Seyfried in neck-to-camel toe Santa Fea chic – Popholic

Kat Von D and Avril Lavigne barfed all over Barbie – OMG Blog

JLo’s publicist is so getting a bonus this week – ICYDK

Man nipples and a puppeh! – The Berry

Are we sure that “Macarena Lemos” isn’t just Justin Bieber’s drag name? – Moe Jackson

Nope, Wonky, sorry, your still filled with more hot air than that balloon – Hollywood Rag

CaCa-O-Lantern – Cityrag

This is the part where I’m supposed to say “Which one is the daughter?” for the 4,562,869th time – I’m Not Obsessed