QOTD: Patrizia Gucci Just Wants To Water Her Plants

This gold diamond beauty may have the face of a perfect glamorous angel whose air kisses taste like lip liner and money, but she has the heart of an ice-blooded evil monster. Patrizia Gucci was sentenced to 29 years in prison back in the 90s after she successfully ordered the hit of her ex-husband Maurizio Gucci, heir to the Gucci fortune, because she wanted more alimony. Patrizia is up for parole and when she went in front of the board at San Vittore jail in Milan, she said something that is the hottest and yet cuntiest thing I've heard today.

"No thanks as it would mean getting a job and I have never worked a day in my life. I would prefer to stay in my cell and water my plants and take care of my ferret."

I don't know whether to slap that crazy bitch or slap myself for loving her.

via Daily Mail

Posted by: Michael K

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Glamour • Quote of the Day

Submitted by SnAtChQuAtCh on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 5:56pm.

She looks like Roseanne Barr in "She Devil"

Submitted by super8atefilm on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 9:33am.

Took me forever to find who this chick reminded me of : Morgan Brittany from the 80's Dallas soap. She's had experience playing a crazy, vindictive bitch who tried to kill her man. Please, anybody but AngieJo, bleh.

http://www.probertencyclopaedia.com/photolib/people/Morgan%20Brittany%20...

Submitted by HangryHippo on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 7:46am.

wow. in love.

also is/was angelina jolie in a movie about her life? are they adding in this scene? http://reallifeiselsewhere.blogspot.com/2009/10/angelina-jolie-as-patriz...

www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack

Submitted by catfight357 on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 6:32am.

I think I just found my new role model

Submitted by Dog on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 6:16am.

" I would prefer to stay in my cell and water my plants and take care of my ferret."

I think I love this woman. Has anyone axed the ferret if it has a preference?

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www.charitywater.org

www.theanimalrescuesite.com

www.modestneeds.org

Submitted by jack-n-the-hat on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 6:07am.

Smart move, for sure... however, as punishment, they should kick her ass out on the street... sounds like bitch has it too easy in "prison" with her plants and rat while the rest of us bust our fucking balls trying to keep the bills paid, food on the table and a 5'er in a hookers pocket for a backwoods beejay... your tax dollars at work.

*fists of rage*
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"I wonder if Viola adopted a white baby because no one seems to want them anymore. *LOL* ~ stefystef, 10/19/2011

Submitted by rukiddingme on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 5:41am.

They have ferrets in prison?

www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.

www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.

Submitted by stepha on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 3:54am.

I know the Gucci daughters really well. They are extremely nice girls that unfortunately had a pretty screwed up mother. They still defend her and protect her though.
Patrizia once borrowed my friends apartment in NYC and she wrecked it completely!
I know it's been a few years that she has been able to get out of San Vittore and spend the holidays, birthdays and other special moments with her family. Why would she want to leave jail? She does not have to work, she can see her family anytime she wants. Plus like I always said, if you want to commit a crime do it in Italy. Yes, Amanda Knox is also included in this. I heard through contacts that she was in a club med prison in comparison to what you would get here in the US.

Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 1:55am.

She wouldn't last a day outta jail because even a day job would get her ass sniped with the quickness. The mob don't play!

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Submitted by BabyJane on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 11:06pm.

Yea, I'm sure the revenge contract the Gucci family has on your ass has nothing to do with you wanting to stay in prison.

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I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

Submitted by Twas Brillig on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 11:04pm.

Submitted by oh dave on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 7:11pm.

She's being smart. If they gave her a job she would be late if she went, and then she would have them all rubbed out and get more life sentences.

I don't think she'd be turned down if she asked for a raise.

This chick is like the Italian rich cunt version of Cinderella. Stuck in her cell but happily cohabitating with adorable ferret friends and growing blue ribbon-winning roses, I'm sure.

Submitted by BabyJane on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 11:03pm.

Yea, I'm sure the revenge contract the Gucci family has on your ass has nothing to do with you wanting to stay in prison.

********************************************

I've written a letter to MK...saying...I...love...youuuuuu.

Submitted by TimC on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 11:00pm.

The news reports say this was day release, not parole. She would only be let out to work and have to go home to jail. Unless they are offering jobs giving Joe ManJello tongue baths, I think I would have said the same thing Patty did. They also say she is allowed out each week to visit her old mommy.

Submitted by Twas Brillig on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 10:58pm.

Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:12pm.

Girl! I know how you feel. My husband is forcing me to get a job and it BITES!

Perhaps you should ask him if he'd like to go on a nice little Italian vacation? Bring your favorite plants.

Submitted by hotpocket on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 10:35pm.

I like her too. It's like she found the zen of gold digging. Rich old man's house or jail cell, it matters not, for the rent is paid.

Submitted by tweedlebugb on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 10:19pm.

LOVE HER!!!
This post was so f*cking amazing!!!

Hola bitches!!!!!

Submitted by Anonymoussss on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 9:42pm.

I seriously thought this was an old shot of Roseanne Barr.

Submitted by Alix on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 8:43pm.

Gotta figure she ended up in a minimum-security facility for good behavior. Or maybe Italian prisons are like the Bastille -- they sound bad, but with a little cash and the right connections you could live very comfortably indeed.

What a fucking genius quote!

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This episode brought to you by the letter SHUTUP.

Submitted by coca on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 7:10pm.

What a refreshing change from the likes of the Manson bitches who will drag that poor Tate family in front of the parole board till the day they finally die.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:55pm.

Well then, mission accomplished!

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~

FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK

Submitted by Callie on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:54pm.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 8:08pm.
My fucking hero!!!! Too bad she got caught before the ex got slaughtered:/

_____________________________________

Per the always reliable Wikipedia, he was gunned down and died in 1995.

Don't let Angie Ho ruin this story Hollywood. Plus God only knows what that sick fuck would do with that poor ferret.

Submitted by iHeartHaters on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:38pm.

My fucking hero!!!! Too bad she got caught before the ex got slaughtered:/

~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~

FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE

Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK

Submitted by cprincess on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:36pm.

WHat a fabulous bitch and I agree....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"

Submitted by heima on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:21pm.

Probably she has mistaken a rat for a ferret. Never heard of ferrets in jail, rat yes...
AND I don't want my money (taxes) to sustain this nutjob, she can work and she must work.
Bitch.

Submitted by Puppy Love on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:09pm.

This post made my day. LOL

What a fabulous CUNT!

Submitted by cattitude on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:07pm.

From what I was reading, Maurizio was worth $120 million and offered her a settlement of $650,000. She asked for $1 million in settlement and he refused. This after he left her, the mother of his two children, for a younger woman. I think this was kind of living the dream of what many wish they could do to cheating exes.
;)

Submitted by HollyG on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:01pm.

The Gucci family was (is?) all kinds of out there. She fit right in. I mean, this family almost screwed up their own brand in a fairly short amount of time.

"Picking a favorite blog is like picking a favorite crackhead. I don't know if I can do it" (MK, you're my fave crackhead)

Submitted by TOPANGA on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:47pm.

Ok,I'm not trying to stereotype here,but I have an honest question. Do all Italian mobsters get sent to some sort of hosh posh prison or something?! In Goodfellas and even on that VH1 Mob Wives show,the husbands could have food sent to them,money wired at anytime to buy other sh*t, call hone whenever they wanted, and this trick gets plants and a pet ferret? WTH?! What gives?
____________________________________
"I was half a virgin when I met him!"

-Mean Girl,Regina George

Submitted by oh dave on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:41pm.

She's being smart. If they gave her a job she would be late if she went, and then she would have them all rubbed out and get more life sentences. Remember when Steve Buscemi was on Sopranos and he tried to quit the mob and work a straight job for a laundry? It didn't end well. She's just being smart.

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

Submitted by oh dave on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:37pm.

I'm confused. Where in LA is she from?

http://burning-plastic.tumblr.com/

Submitted by madam s. on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:34pm.

Hekki,

Maybe you can find a job watering plants and playing with ferrets?!

Submitted by madam s. on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:32pm.

Ahhahha! Her quote is hilarious. "No thanks". So polite and dismissive!

Submitted by Mama Bear on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:30pm.

Submitted by joe shmoe on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:26pm.

Italian jails are fuuuun! Just ask Foxy Knoxy.
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Oh snap!

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:17pm.

She also looks disturbingly like Gene Simmons with a bad lipliner job.

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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Submitted by Get Serious on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:14pm.

I saw a program about the Gucci family recently, and this bitch was queen of the cunts. She was to receive over $1.5 million a year in alimony for life, yet the money grubber was INCENSED by "such an insulting amount". And, now she backs this up with her cunty comments. Some whores never learn...

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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer

Submitted by StickaCockinWoo... on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:11pm.

She is right. Why work and give them money and be tax?!?!? Sssssssssssssshhhhjhhhhhiiiiiiiiiittttttt¡! How dare u!

Her response sounds like some thing ewdina said on absolutely fabulous.

Please Mr. Francis Ford Coppola, make a Godfather part 4 with Talia Shire as the Godfather and Kay finally with the program.

Submitted by TexnDoc on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:08pm.

I just read a little on this story: in 2009 a film was in talks with Angelina Jolie to play her and Leonardo to play Maurizio (who was hot btw).

Submitted by A.cotw on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:08pm.

Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:46pm.
so what kind of fancy jail is this that she is allowed to have plants and a pet? Hmmm I take that she was not put in a hard labor prison where she has to do laundry, sweep floors and be the love slave of a bull dyke who looks like an Italian version of Ma Parker.
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The sort of Italian prison where prosecco or Pinot Grigio is served with dinner,but no vintage wines or Umbrian truffles are allowed. :)

Submitted by letinstar on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:05pm.

working is for the 99%...

_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr

Submitted by vega on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 4:36pm.

She gives good side eye underneath those glasses, like bitch please I have a ferret in prison and what.

Submitted by dementa on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 4:27pm.

Clearly she needs to be transferred to a much nastier prison.

If I were the judge, I would say, "Fine. I grant you parole. Enjoy having to work, you entitled whore."

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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.

Submitted by SANS FARDS on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 4:21pm.

bahahahahahaha!

On another note, that Italian jail sounds nicer than my current American shared house with a bunch of 20-something chicks. We can't have pets :(

_______________________________________________

I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.

Submitted by babybunny on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 4:19pm.

right on sis...working is for non-criminals...and how the hell do you get a pet ferret? Maybe I should go commit some crimes in Italy???

Submitted by sinjin on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 4:22pm.

She's quoted as saying "I would rather weep in a Rolls-Royce than be happy on a bicycle."

That right there is some dedication to money! And at age 63, there's no rehabbing that lousy attitude (*tsk, tsk).

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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)

Submitted by SpiceDong on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 4:16pm.

so what kind of fancy jail is this that she is allowed to have plants and a pet? Hmmm I take that she was not put in a hard labor prison where she has to do laundry, sweep floors and be the love slave of a bull dyke who looks like an Italian version of Ma Parker.

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"I paid good money to get eaten out" - Samantha Jones

Submitted by MeowMeow on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 4:08pm.

Love it, love her!

And how in the motherfuck do you get a pet ferret in prison? Is she sure it's not just a big rat? (No offense to ferrets -- they're cute little farts. But being in a 12 x 12 cell for years might do things to your perception.)