Lindsay Lohan's Probation Revoked
Judge Stephanie delivered the quote of the year and deserved a round of slow claps when she looked at Lindsay Lohan's lawyer in court today and said: "She is supposed to be an actress, from what I hear." Judge Stephanie probably practiced that word slap in front of a compact mirror in her chambers all damn morning and she deserves all the Emmys for it!
After Judge Stephanie pretty much set fire to every shit excuse that LiLo's lawyer threw out for why she didn't show up to her community service at the Women's Center and why she skipped out on her court-appointed therapy sessions, White Oprah's main ho stroll ho got her probation snatched away from her and was taken away in handcuffs in front of the cameras. There's your holiday card!
Judge Stephanie threw a shady eye at the Probation Department for giving LiLo a gold star report when she barely completed any community service hours and said that she found the Women's Center not "fulfilling" enough for her. The Probation Department moved LiLo to the Red Cross to do her community service, but Judge Stephanie says that they didn't have any right to do that and the hours she completed there will not count.
LiLo's bail was set at $100,000 and once White Oprah finishes giving a handjob and tongue lick to the bondsman in the parking lot of the courthouse, she will be released. LiLo's probation violation hearing has been set for November 2nd. She could get over a year in jail, but that's not going to happen due to overcrowding.
She'll also have to complete at least 16 hours a week at the morgue before the hearing. Haven't the dead bodies been through?! Well, at least there's a chance she'll find whatever is left of her career there.
You know, I'm saving all my exclamation points for when (and if) she ends up in jail. You know that shit's not going to happen. This is just a repeat from last time. Judge Stephanie goes hard on LiLo, threatens that she's going to be eating cell mate snatch behind bars and it never happens. LiLo ends up fucking the justice system in the ass without lube and she's back out on the streets buying "quartz" from mineral street merchants. THIS WILL NEVER END!
But more importantly, that live feed should be used in schools as a PSA to promote a drug free America. Bitch's eyeballs were TWEAKING out of their sockets so hard that it made me feel like I just put meth drops in my own eyes. It's like tiny tweekers were operating her eye muscles for her.
And with those zombie shit stains on her cheeks, she looked like the Cryptkeeper on the wrong kind of tina. (FYI: the wrong kind of tina = crystal meth and the right kind of tina - the music of Tina Louise)
Who the hell did Lindsay's makeup, the people at the morgue? SHE looks like a corpse. Apparently, the court system will never learn that Lindsay just laughs all of this off because she knows she'll never be locked up. It's all jokes until she ends up in jail.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Her bail bondsman was waiting for the judge's decision so she never had to spend a second in jail. The hell? Bail was only $100K. Double "the Hell"? Celebrity justice much? "Probation is a privilege!" Yeah, anyone else would have been locked up. Throw her mangy ass in jail, already!
Damn! Dilated pupils much?...
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-As soon as a true thought has entered our mind it gives a light which makes us see a crowd of other objects we have never perceived before.
-Chateaubriand
Can't she jsut do some time and get it over with? In OHio that is what people eventually do. They get sick of being on probation. Make her do 60 days in jail, she will get out early, and it will be over. She could go into jail and own it like Marther Stewart. Unless things are so bad in the LA jail that this is impossible. If she had any real lawyer they would tell her this and convincer her that this is the best option.
Latest mugshot:
http://www.eonline.com/photos/gallery.jsp?galleryUUID=181#146070
So many mugshots and so little time.
Ok I'm officially Lohaned out!
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Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
More likely, though, Lohan will face an equally undesirable task: Bathroom duty.
"The people who come here to perform community service are generally engaged in custodial or janitorial duties," Harvey explains to me. "They also do some other tasks, such as laundry...essentially, emptying trash cans, mopping floors, cleaning bathrooms, restocking bathrooms, basic custodial stuff."
Read more: http://www.eonline.com/news/ask_the_answer_bitch/will_lindsay_lohan_have...
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Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
does she have ANYONE who would care!? care about HER not the money????? so pathetic!
'We are responsible for what we do unless we are celebrities.'
Lindsey Lohan, the only celebrity that does the "red carpet" outside of a court building.
It looks like her liver is throwing in the towel.
Everything this jaundiced, rotten-mouthed trick touches turns to absolute shit. Even the Los Angeles Probation Dept. is being fucked six ways from Sunday thanks to this cunty little shitball.
I say we launch her into the sun.
Damn. She has some bony elbows.
Submitted by TheBreakdown on Thu, 10/20/2011 - 3:34am.
OMG!
It looks like the RiverDance Theater Troupe had a rehearsal across her face!
Rehearsal was followed by a gang bang.
Nice dress.
OMG!
It looks like the RiverDance Theater Troupe had a rehearsal across her face!
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Submitted by cici on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 2:59pm.
Kaiserball I agree. This girl *is* talented.
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You and White Oprah see it, but I've never seen this girl display any talent.
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"Your ignorance makes me ill and angry. Your savageness...must...end."
I don't always take my own advice because it's sometimes inaccurate and boring. - Submitted by Bjork You on Mon, 10/17/2011 - 9:01pm
Frank N. Furter, it's all ohhh-ver!
Your mission was a failure!
Your lifestyle's too extreee-e-eme!
I'm very superficial, I hate everything official.
A whole new meaning to being told you look shitfaced.
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"I love fast and I love hard."-MK
As much as I like the way she looks with handcuffs on...
I don't see her going to jail. The judge is going to be once again with "my way or the highway" shit. Maybe another progress report in two weeks instead of two months.
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Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
Yikes, this has to be the worst I've seen her...glassy, blood-shot eyes, completely swollen face, teeth looking like they're ready to crumble right out of her mouth. She looks yellowish head to toe besides that dirt rubbed into her cheeks. And these wacked out, vacant facial expressions? Oy. We've all said that she has looked to be on the verge of kicking it for a long time now but man oh man, that day seems to be inching very close.
I also think this jail thing makes her think that she's gonna get more famous by it.. or be some cool "bad girl." When.. in reality...
I dunno why, but I don't think this dummy COULD have sex with men for money without getting pregnant by accident. Maybe she got an abortion.. but... I just see her as being sloppy about everything or too dim to not get caught by the paps with some rich dude eventually.
Submitted by evilwilma on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 7:49pm.
I'm a little confused, since I don't wear makeup (fards?), but can you really call blush blush when it's brown?
What DO you call brown makeup when it's smeared on your cheeks?
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It looks like she used bronzer, but went just a teeny weeny bit overboard. And by overboard, I mean she makes Snooki look like an albino ghost.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
How Dina Blowhan & Joe Jackson haven't gotten together yet is a mystery. No 2 (non)people are more perfect for each other.
~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♦¤♦~♥~♥~♦¤♦~♥~
FANTA FANTA, NO COKE!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lnRDU4LdZE
Meat Loaf was in the middle of a show when his knees suddenly hit the stage floor like a narcoleptic bat out of hell ~MK
Oh jesus-I dont even know what to say anymore except whatever happened to that cute little freckle faced kid?
She was truly talented but now just looks like a street hooker on meth-look at her glassy eyes...
I give her a year at most... best thing that could happen would be if she were locked up to keep her away from her horrific family....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
There is something about the brown splotches on her face, and her vacant look, that remind me of Boy George's "white face." I know I shouldn't feel sad for someone who has had so many "advantages," but, maybe I really don't feel having your parents whoring you out at a young age is such an advantage.
*chanting as always*
"I feel the burn it must be Vern" PERKY 2011
Has she been practicing corpse make up tips? The bronzer application is hilarious.
Feeler
Yes, but would the bio-waste be 'fulfilling'?
Submitted by mike on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 3:48pm.
She'll probably be doing clerical work or something in the morgue. It's wishful thinking to assume she'll be shoveling bio-waste into the incinerator.
Most likely but I do like the bio-waste in the incinerator idea.
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Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
I'm a little confused, since I don't wear makeup (fards?), but can you really call blush blush when it's brown?
What DO you call brown makeup when it's smeared on your cheeks?
Lindsay tweeted this yesterday:
Oct.18
"I just want it to be known, that just because I was not followed&photographed during the times I've gone to community service, does NOT mean that I wasn't following my obligations (by going) to the court."
Again lie number 1257896546!
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Love my way, it's a new road
I follow where my mind goes
Lindsay looks like she should be an in-patient at the morgue, not a volunteer there. She's getting really good at her AIDS face.
Submitted by Jintess on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 6:26pm.
We all said the same about Amy.
If Lindsay doesn't clean herself up STAT, she will die before she see's 30.
It's one thing to be happy that someone 'got their own' it's another to not see this person is very much putting themself into their grave.
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People need to quit comparing this trick to Amy Winehouse. Amy actually had talent, and though troubled, was not a complete fucking sociopath.
I would argue that people who consistently hurt others, and show no conscience whatsoever when confronted about it, would be better off in their graves than running around loose to do even more damage that they'll never be genuinely sorry for.
It amazes me that anyone would want to protect and coddle such a human viper, when to most of us it's obvious that the coddling she's already had is the reason she is the way she is.
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Sounds like what an Old French Whore might offer. "Yeeees, I will au vin your coq and for a few francs more also shia laboeuf...." --- ImpertinentVixen
Girlfriend needs help or she won't just be completing probation at the morgue...
Cut the head off
Grows back hard
I am the hydra
Now you'll see your star
Submitted by Who Datt on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:33pm.
Her made up face looks like the clown death-mask that the discount store cosmetic counter bitch (played by Zooey Deschanel) put on the elderly woman customer in "The Good Girl". Only not as subtle.
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LOOOOLOLOLOLOLL! I love Zooey and I love that scene. I liked when Zooey was rattling off the ingredients in the makeup to the woman, and real casually slips in "urine" and then just continues on. hahahaha
OT: Lindsay looks puffy and dirty and sickly. I feel bad for her but I know she's lying in a puddle of her own self-made vomit. No snark..this young woman must truly despise herself and has no hope she could ever be anything better (or healthier). Sad to watch.
That's some kabuki makeup going on. A theatre mask?
I'm glad she's in jail. Maybe she'll get real. Obviously, she needs mental health counseling. So do a lot of other people.
.
.
We all said the same about Amy.
If Lindsay doesn't clean herself up STAT, she will die before she see's 30.
It's one thing to be happy that someone 'got their own' it's another to not see this person is very much putting themself into their grave.
I'm with agnostic1, this judge did her no favors this day. Nor did the judge help her at all
But seriously, does she really think she's going to get work looking like this? If you were at a party and your bff said, "I think we should keep it light around her, she left the free clinic an hour ago and got some bad news about some STDs she picked up during that time she was working for an escort service," and your bff was talking about a ho who looked like Linds here, you wouldn't doubt it for a minute. You'd look at her and say, "Yeah, you're right. She looks pretty down." She looks like a ho who was a few different issues with STDs, at least one of which is permanent. Working actress? I've seen healthier looking porn fluffers. Can't really blame Lilo, tho - white oprah looks like a non-headliner from Backdoor MILFs. I'm not even getting into what little sister looks like.
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As useless as a saggy pair of tits
I wish this spoiled, useless little twat would take a que from Amy Winehouse and just go away forever.
I know a lot of people here (and elsewhere) don't like Lindsay Lohan. She's never really bothered me, but now even I have to admit that she is a moron. All she had to do was show up for community service and get it over with. Pretty simple really. But nope, Lindsay doesn't give a flying fuck and instead she keeps giving the finger and appearing in court again and again...
she sure doesn't look like she's on dope or any other opiate. because no heroin user would go to court sober knowing it could be hours before their next shot. she must just be a common crack who-or. or a future meth poster child.
She should start her own line of handcuffs.
And what the fuck is with her makeup? Does this bitch not have a mirror?
Submitted by Hekki on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 5:32pm.
I thought her problem with the shelter was that they were "mean" to here there.
Which would make sense. Because women down on their luck are not into kissing the ass of some spoiled bad attitude cunt. They were making like honey badgers down there at the shelter.
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Interesting take. You would figure that with all of the crap that she has ingested, her dealers would have taught her some street smarts.
'tis the season for zombie chic..who bailed her out $100 G?
That bruise is too high up on her arm to be from tying off. she probably had to have some rough sex to get enough of whatever to get her through the day.
Anyone else notice the bruise on her left arm that looks like she tied off?
It looks like she's mainlining whatever she's on.
Her made up face looks like the clown death-mask that the discount store cosmetic counter bitch (played by Zooey Deschanel) put on the elderly woman customer in "The Good Girl". Only not as subtle.
I thought her problem with the shelter was that they were "mean" to here there.
Which would make sense. Because women down on their luck are not into kissing the ass of some spoiled bad attitude cunt. They were making like honey badgers down there at the shelter.
If she's going to morgue why not just save some time and put her directly into the incinerator?
Her bottom will be death. She knows she's not going to jail. She blows and gangbangs billionares and yes men for money and drugs. She will never worry about alienating her family (Dina is constantly lying for her and kissing her ass), she'll never be homeless, hungry, embaressed, regretful for her actions. At this point I'm sure she's thinking why should she get sober...drugs and partying are fun and she never has consequences. At least Amy Winehouse would try and clean herself up not pop in and out of rehab when it was time to avoid jail.
Why is it so hard to put her in jail? WHY????