Foiled By Titty Tape
The first time George Clooney fulfilled his contractual obligations by bringing Stacy Kiebler out to pose with him at one of his premieres, they had the chemistry of a soft dick and an anus-less ass. If awkwardness was a power source, George could use those uncomfortable as shit pictures to run the conveyer belt of leased trophy hos in his basement. George and Stacy went for round 2 at last night's Paris premiere of The Descendents and if you put the black sheep of the Keebler Elves and the ghost of Rosemary Clooney together, they'd probably have more sparks between them than this mess right here. 
Couldn't Stacy come to the premiere dressed like Brad Pitt's peen to pull some kind of excitement out of George's face? George's meh-ish facial expressions run from "Why are you still here?" to "Must call the escort agency in the morning" to "This bitch's titty tape came out to play and I ain't even going to tell her." I mean, George is more excited to see some bald dude in a brown suit than the trick he's supposedly scissoring on a sex swing. Yeah, I know George has to have a shiny thing on his arm whenever he's selling a movie to make him look like some kind of Bond type who is a master pussy wrangler, but it's starting to make him look like a Hugh Hefner type who would rather be making out with a bowl of cold tapioca pudding.
But my favorite part is the titty tape. You know you have problems when the titty tape is the star of your premiere. And now I want to tapioca wedding.
• 
Clooney's hitting the man wall hard, heading fast into Val Kilmer territory. Another one bites the dust.
He's like the male Julia Roberts, never single for more than 5 minutes and then showing the world how much "happier" s/he is with the new piece.
She looks like a soccer mom on a big date night...
that face is bordering on butter...
At least Elizabetta had style....
"NOSOPD -Not our sort of person darling"
He's an unattractive egomaniac so I could care less about this weirdo, but if I were her, I would demand a hairstylist.
Wow, this actually one of the better looking dresses she has worn! Pet peeve of mine is when the girl is taller than the guy!
She's an all around fail.
The poster formerly known as Snow Owl formerly known as Night Owl!
I have a question for the straight guys: If you were standing that close to almost bare bewbs, wouldn't you be lookin' at 'em?
And this question is for anyone: Is she really that much taller than he is? He's not a short guy, amirite?
They don't like they dressed to go to the same event or even pretended to pay attention to what the other one was going to wear. She has appalling taste and her 13 yr. old sister got her ready for this judging by her ratty hair and the half cup of glitter on her chest. He looks like he spent the day in the salon.
I don't know what clueless hack is picking these tricks, but George really would be better off either alone or coming out if he really is gay.
There is no chemistry here. He was obviously set up by his publicist to have her as his companion. But why? I just don't get a gay vibe from him at. I'm thinking back to his "Facts of Life" days when he was not as experienced an actor...there was no gay vibe then either.
What gives?
Jeez. If you have to tape your dress on, maybe it ain't the right dress.
This woman is pretty fug. Clooney is probably thinking to himself "why the heck did my publicist pick this amazon?!"
Ugh!!!! I can't, this isn't going to work. This contract will be done by next weekend. This is just sad on all sorts of levels. I really can't ugh
Submitted by Few Words on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 8:58am.
ima gonna play "lonesome loser" by little river band for this weathered jock strap douche donkey.
-------------
Hahaha. Lady is totally playing on my Itunes right now
who's 32? those lines around the eyes are older than 32...
_____________________________________________
"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
I've never bought into the whole beard thing with him before...but there is just NOTHING going on here between these two...he replaced that last gal too quickly it seems. It's almost like he just pointed in a catalog for the replacement without so much of a thought and he can't even pretend to give two shits about TRYING to be interested
Her head looks tiny...anyone else see the tiny head syndrome going on here?
and 32?! that's one HARD 32!
Good. Bad. I'm the guy with the gun.
-Ash
Considering her DWTS past that titty tape malfunction should not have happend. I like her crazy ass. She's funny as all get out plus she's the only pretty woman the Cloonster has been "attached" to in decades! And also being a former wrestler, you know she can kick and whoop ass when needed to. Watch out Clooney LMAO!!!!!
What's the deal with that vein running down the middle of her forehead?
Why does he do this??? It's like he thinks he's the star of Pretty Woman or some such shit. Just COME OUT already GEORGIE!!!! We all know.... fuck!
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
I guess it's best to end a relationship the same way you start it: absolutely fucking tanked. MK 6/11
Anyone else bored with this guy and his line of hos?
OMG, did you see the photos of Clooney with Ryan Gosling at the Ides of March premiere? He was beside himself with joy! The Fug Girls even did a little pictorial on it - Clooney is grinning and giggling like a schoolgirl around Gosling.
Yeah, Gosling looked pretty cute that night, but really. Anyway, it's obvious Clooney can't drum up even one tenth of that enthusiasm for this piece, so why does he bother? She looks straight out of a mall in Tulsa, anyway.
She has a great body but the face is so-so.
She has a great body but the face is so-so.
I don't believe George is ghey. I think he just likes a nice piece of a** and a nice piece of arm candy that he can change out in a couple of years.
www.petfinder.com - enter your zip code to find adoptable pets in your area.
www.animalrescuesite.com - click everyday to help feed animals in shelters.
She is sucking whatever hot he might have had, out of him.
"ima gonna play "lonesome loser" by little river band for this weathered jock strap douche donkey."
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA
I agree with the 'he seems asexual', even on 'Roseanne', when he was young, though he was handsome, there was no appeal, to me.
And what is it with the posing of facing each other (thumb 2), gazing into each others eyes? This, I seem to think only Brad & Angie do.
❝ ...... ❞
Team titty tape can fuck off! That shit never works unless I go gung ho on them like Roberta in Now and Then.
On topic: I too get an asexual vibe from him. I think he's more interested in himself than anybody else. He probably looks at himself in the mirror when he jerks his chicken.
Submitted by Datura on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 10:05am.
ITA about grey gowns. It washes out all but really tan white women.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
She really needs an upper lip.
George's recent beards all seem to have some weird connection to "Dancing With the Stars". This new girl seems so random except for the DWTS link. Maybe Nancy Grace is waiting in the bullpen for her turn.
***********************************************
"This is what we call the floating world . . .” (Ryoi, c.1661)
" . . . the world needs to be shut down. I mean it this time. SHUT IT DOWN". (MK, c.2009)
I don't necessarily get a gay vibe from Clooney; he just seems completely asexual to me. He never has noticable chemistry with his "girlfriends."
I hate the colour of her dress. How in the world did that grey/beige become so popular? I see women wearing their nails that colour quite a bit, and it's so unflattering and gross.
*~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*~~~~~~~~~~~*
Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
You would expect an actor to be a better faker than this. He should take a lesson from any woman faking an orgasm.
---------------------------------------------------------
Rusty, tu nous manque! Sois gentil et donne-nous de tes nouvelles!
He has already said he does not want children. This is a deal breaker with many women.
George does not want to be half of a whole. He is whole all by himself.
He looks like a man who has realized, too late, that the ladies aren't always interchangeable. I want the romcom ending, where he begs that Italian chick to take him back, but she refuses! Until, on the advice of an older, quirky character, he proposes to her in some spectacular way, perhaps involving elephants, parades of extras dressed as Roman soldiers, and a hot-air balloon.
He may not be gay. I just don't think he will ever enjoy anything as much as his work. George is an artist. He has had lot's of sex. He is over it. He will never NEED anyone. He is a self sufficient unit unto himself. I think there are actually many people like this but we are forced to pair off. George never want to be a WE. He like being an "I".
George looks like he is trying to keep something in his stomach down at a family event filled with ancient relatives.
And for someone who is considered a good actor, he isn't convincing me that this Kiebler chick is anything but a temporary employee.
"JUST SMILE LIKE A NORMAL FUCKED UP PERSON."
Charles Manson
@ Stan Hooper
Sounds like the Cloonster is indeed covering up the ghey.
*****************************
I read that as "covering up the grey" - which - we know - he isn't.
“People say I'm indecisive, but I don't know about that.”
G.W.B.
This trick has actually made me miss that Italian man-face, and that's saying something.
Not sure what is going on here, but this is faker than Beyonce's belly. George dumps the Italian mess and takes on this girl in a matter of two days. Sounds like the Cloonster is indeed covering up the ghey.
=========
Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
Wow. Not only does she lack any kind of style, but she also doesn't know how to buy clothing that actually fits. You shouldn't have to wear things such as tape or spanx. Wear things that fit and flatter your body type.
What we want to know is who are these movie actors really having sex with. If we can't know that, then at least tell us why it's so hard to find out.
Why don't they ever touch each other? Not even holding each other's hands as he leads her forward? They are so awkward. I don't think he's gay, just not interested in being married.
Submitted by justincase on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 9:15am
Yoda? ;p
Too. Much. Titty. Glitter.
Submitted by Chris Knight on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 8:02am.
Is she Heidi Klum's long lost sister?
I thought it was Amanda from Ugly Betty at first, and she'd aged 10 years.
Already bored senseless of these two assholes.
Submitted by harperharper on Wed, 10/19/2011 - 8:50am.
@Hekki
Digression: To me, true luxury would be to have an entire wardrobe of things that I LOVE to wear that I don't have to think about, that fit like a glove, that feel like ME, that convey power and status, that I can do anything in.
Amen to ^ that sistah!
-----------
THIS.
And an assistant to drop off/pick up from the dry cleaners.
Awkward and poorly dressed is she but who is he?? I can't get a fix on this guy but then I guess that is his aim. Starstruck I am not!