Ashley Greene Is Funny

October 19, 2011 / Posted by:

Ashley Greene, or as you know her as “?????”, lives inside of a glistening bubble fresh out of delusion’s ass where she truly believes that the paparazzi just magically show up without her calling them and she’s as big of a tabloid star as Brangelina. Ashley said in the new issue of Allure Magazine (via UsWeekly) that the non-love triangle between she, Joe Jonas and Demi Lovato was basically the Brangelina vs. Jennifer Aniston love triangle for the potty training set. Ashley headbutted the clouds as she said this:

“I’m really happy that she’s (Demi Lovato) doing well. She and I never had a problem with each other, but, you know, it doesn’t go away. Jen Aniston still gets asked about Angelina Jolie.”

“Ashley, please tell me your thoughts on Demi Lovato,” said absolutely fucking no one.

Ashley really makes hallucinating seem fun. Ashley, when you’re done with that blunt of shredded delusion, please pass it here, because I’d really like to see this pimple on my chest as a third nipple everybody’s getting in line to suck. Then, you can go to the section marked “HO, SIT DOWN” and get comfortable. You’re going to be there a while.

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