Hot Slut Of The Day!
Johnny Robinson of The UK’s X-Factor!
While the American X-Factor so far is as bland and boring as a layer of Nicole Scherzinger’s unflavored personality spread across L.A. Reid’s monotone delivery, the UK X-Factor is still a dump truck full of sequins crashing into a zoo of Lisa Frank animals. Case in point: Johnny Robinson!
During Saturday night’s show, Johnny put the gay in geisha and the ‘mo in kimono when he slithered onto the stage looking like if DJ Qualls used a few coins founds in his car’s ashtray to recreate Madge’s Nothing Really Matters video for his Florida trailer park’s talent contest. Johnny has the enchanting voice of a slutty canary with tiny helium tanks for lungs (read: like David Beckham) and the eyeliner-drawing skills of crackhead going through withdrawals.
Remove all glass objects from the room, cover your dogs ears and let Johnny rub the edges of your soul the same way Gary Barlow obviously wants to rub on Johnny until he howls the BIC streaks right off of his eyes.
(For Juan)