Afternoon Crumbs

Selena Gomez’s chola look (La Pedo Eyez? La Chocha Breath?) needs more Sharpie brows, black lip liner, AquaNet and less lingerie by Frederick’s – Hollywood Tuna

Chris Martin says marrying GOOP was like winning the lottery. Okay, but most lottery money doesn’t throw you an eye of judgement when you use its wood burning pizza oven to make Totino’s – Lainey Gossip

Miley Cyrus is smart – The Superficial

Rest in peace, race car driver Dan Wheldon – The Daily What

Giuliana Rancic has breast cancer – Celebitchy

Coldplay and RiRi made a song together that makes static sound interesting – Towleroad

I’m side-eying Ryan Gosling’s side-eye – The Berry

Christina Milian knows how to dress – (site NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Salma Hayek makes a strong case for bringing back denim bell bottoms – Popsugar

Glamberace on The Advocate – Just Jared

If you opened your eyes this morning, picked the crust out and thought to yourself that you really need to see Emmanuelle Chriqui in black shorts today, then here you go – Popoholic

Dear Kate Winslet, you really need to think about your choices when there’s a chance you could become Mrs. Kate RockNRoll – ICYDK

And I’d still rather have a conversation with a goat – OMG Blog

Another drunk Disney ho is making Mickey Mouse proud – Celebslam

This also works if the title was 12 Crazy Things Suri Says – Cityrag

Gerard Butler’s bulge is not what’s for fap time – Hollywood Rag

That chick from Thirteen married some American Idol dude I don’t remember – I’m Not Obsessed