Open Post: Hosted By The Skydiving Sex Couple
Skydiving instructor and porn star Alex Torres (that's "Voodoo" to those of you who have a membership to Cum Fiesta) and Hope Howell (that name is just TOO perfect), the receptionist at the place he teaches at, took the Mile High Club (then the 0.7 mile high club, then the 0.5 mile high club) to a whole new level when they filmed themselves free fall boning above Taft, CA. Child birdies with innocent eyes don't fly to school until the afternoon, so Voodoo and Hope did the sky high porn version of Terminal Velocity (Terminal Velocitis?) in the morning hours to avoid people seeing them naked.
Voodoo uploaded that mess to his website in hopes that Howard Stern would throw him some attention, but he snatched it down as soon as the FAA opened up an investigation into this shit. Voodoo and HoWell didn't commit any illegal acts since the plane was private, but the FAA is trying to figure out if the pilot was distracted by airborne titties flapping around like two jellyfishes having a sneezing fit.
Never mind that Hope's probably got wind burnt labia and it sounded like a walrus whistling into a fan when they fucked, but how did they do it? Anybody who has seen Voodoo in action knows that he's about as hung as a cow tongue sandwich, but still. How did he keep it in with the wind trying to knock it out and shit? Either they used some kind of device to strap his peen into her cooch or homegirl's got a vagina that can suck the freckle off of a Lohan.
And if a pigeon happened to poop on your forehead while you were walking around the Taft area last week, you should know that wasn't pigeon poop.... You got Voodoo-ed.
via HuffPo
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Pimp Mama Kris is kicking herself for not thinking of this first.
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Got a feelin' that forever, we are gonna stay together
For me, there's nothin' better
You're biggest part of me
-Ambrosia
hmmm I am a scientist...so did their genitalia catch on fire or freeze? so many questions.
Coma Caca!
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guest - Yes. She is one of the spotted dogs here and the baby of the JRT herd.
Interesting about the employment agency; you would think clerical/admin jobs would be their specialty. I think you'll do much better on your own. Keep on looking and don't give up!
if...is it lumpy & did they numb it first?
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Yo, Frag... how long is that fucking hair of yours?
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
I got my Botox today. It took 2 syringes (one for each eye) and cost $298 total. It only hurt a bit (stung for a while afterwards) and took about 30 seconds for each eye. All the screeching on TV I've seen is bullshit.
Bled just a minibit and needles marks are all almost gone. I was told not to work out today and too bad, I have something pre-booked so I'm going to do it. Something about not making the blood rush around body but she said it's a warning they kind of have to give everyone, as well as the usual you-can-die shit!
I should see results by about next Wed.
So that's my Botox story for those who were interested.
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Dark-sided!
Well, since this is Open Post and since most of you all are complete flummoxed by this OP host...
How's about I start something a bit deep?
I'mma ask a question.
If you could turn back time and do ONE thing differently in your life, would you and do you think the outcome would necessarily be better/worse?
I did something really awful in my youth but a LOT of good things resulted from it, so, it's weird to think of my life without my fuck-ups. My ONE fuck-up changed a lot of lives for the GOOD when I was young...so, it's kind of weird how 'fate' [if you believe in fate] can have so many causal effects that are residual and can be either positive or negative depending on how you play your role in life.
Anyway, just throwing that out there...
My armpits stink like goat milk. I'm trying to get off of cow's milk but now I fucking reek to high hell like GOAT!
baaaaaaaaaaaa
I pass too. Fucking for Dummies, Vol. I
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"... a wail that sounds like a deaf cat in heat getting DPed while jumping on a trampoline during an earthquake."
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 1:54pm.
Am I the only bitch who wouldn`t get ANYTHING out of this? I would be so distracted, there is no way this would be pleasurable in any way.
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I think the point is to get ATTENTION, not actual pleasure.
spotty...you changed your avie! is that your doggy? so cute.
well i missed my turn & had to loop around once & then got off on the wrong floor (ha!) & was over dressed. didn't realize everyone was so casual in the work place!! but anyhoodle...they had no clerical/admin positions @ all. she said i'd probably have better luck looking on my own. referred me to another agency...same story. but it's okay. no harm no foul.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 1:54pm.
Am I the only bitch who wouldn`t get ANYTHING out of this?
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No, you're not.
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"Slut, you're not fooling anyone pretending like your knees actually know each other." -- Sinjin
Well damn. I thought I was going to get to see something :/ merp
And can I just say that tv newspeople are the LAMEST EVER? Ugh! I fucking hate the way they talk and gesticulate, and their icky, over-styled, Barbie/Ken-costume-looking clothes and hair. Hmmph
I can't imagine it being pleasurable for her.
But then I guess differents folks, different strokes.
Datura on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 1:52pm.
Ugh. I lose my 'sex concentration' if the phone rings during the act. I couldn't even imagine trying to do it while careening hundreds of feet toward the ground.
10101010101010101010101010
Really? Once I start the launch sequence, the only thing that can stop me is the FedEx/UPS/Pizza guy.
Mmmmmmm delivery men. Yowwwwwwwwwwwwww
Am I the only bitch who wouldn`t get ANYTHING out of this? I would be so distracted, there is no way this would be pleasurable in any way. Plus with that wind you`re going against, you might catch a hell of a UTI.
I pass. Thanks.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
ritzyroxie on Fri, 10/14/2011 - 1:48pm.
Jesus, I hope he was wearing a condom. It's raining cum, hallelujah! It's raining cum, HALLELUJAH!
10101010101010101010101010
Ahhahahahahaha!
So gnarly.
"It was a warm rain that tasted slightly musty"
guest - Job? How'd it go? I wasn't able to participate but I read about your Beltway fiasco. You didn't get lost yesterday, did you? And umm, how many extra tolls did you have to pay???
Ugh. I lose my 'sex concentration' if the phone rings during the act. I couldn't even imagine trying to do it while careening hundreds of feet toward the ground.
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
Surprised his peen didn't break off
Skyyyyyyybitch, where for art thouuuuuuuuu?
The splash down has to be EPIC.
HAH gross. I love these famewhores!
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
LOL! I have seen a few porns with Voodoo!
Jesus, I hope he was wearing a condom. It's raining cum, hallelujah! It's raining cum, HALLELUJAH!
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A beauty that makes abuelitas pray for our sinful souls is my kind of beauty. -MK 9/12/11
YAAAAAAASS! -Sage Khia
no video?! *disappointed*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
HELL YES!! Where's "SkyBitch" when you need her!??
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
Sky spooge!