Skydiving instructor and porn star Alex Torres (that’s “Voodoo” to those of you who have a membership to Cum Fiesta) and Hope Howell (that name is just TOO perfect), the receptionist at the place he teaches at, took the Mile High Club (then the 0.7 mile high club, then the 0.5 mile high club) to a whole new level when they filmed themselves free fall boning above Taft, CA. Child birdies with innocent eyes don’t fly to school until the afternoon, so Voodoo and Hope did the sky high porn version of Terminal Velocity (Terminal Velocitis?) in the morning hours to avoid people seeing them naked.
Voodoo uploaded that mess to his website in hopes that Howard Stern would throw him some attention, but he snatched it down as soon as the FAA opened up an investigation into this shit. Voodoo and HoWell didn’t commit any illegal acts since the plane was private, but the FAA is trying to figure out if the pilot was distracted by airborne titties flapping around like two jellyfishes having a sneezing fit.
Never mind that Hope’s probably got wind burnt labia and it sounded like a walrus whistling into a fan when they fucked, but how did they do it? Anybody who has seen Voodoo in action knows that he’s about as hung as a cow tongue sandwich, but still. How did he keep it in with the wind trying to knock it out and shit? Either they used some kind of device to strap his peen into her cooch or homegirl’s got a vagina that can suck the freckle off of a Lohan.
And if a pigeon happened to poop on your forehead while you were walking around the Taft area last week, you should know that wasn’t pigeon poop…. You got Voodoo-ed.