Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

October 14, 2011 / Posted by:

While one Hollywood marriage is over because of multiple cheating scandals, another couple is using their debacle as an exercise in circling their own wagons. The second couple, who will be getting a divorce (despite their extensive denials), has had their legal teams reaching out to past and present paramours over the past few weeks to ensure that legal agreements are intact and that everyone is keeping their mouths shut. In some cases, the exes were reminded of confidentiality agreements with heavy legal penalties. In other cases, payoffs were made. You see, with this couple, revelations of extra-marital conduct would be devastating not only to their families but to their careers, since neither one is ready to come out of the closet yet. At least watching other blabbermouths come under scrutiny has had one positive effect on them: they’ve finally stopped bragging about their own fake sex life. (Blind Gossip)

Will & Jada (aka THEM AGAIN?)? We’re going to be hearing about them whippin’ their divorce papers back and forth until the end of time. I doubt they’re going to do the big D deed anytime soon. I will do the naked Carlton Dance in nothing but a pair of CROCs to a Wicked Wisdom song in the middle of a Burger King in Bel Air if they get divorced in the next year. (FYI: That was not notarized, therefore it is not an official statement.)

Not-So-Fun Fact: A long time ago I hooked up with this dude I met at a club in L.A. and right before we were about to get down to it, he said to me, “So, what celebrities have you done? I’ve fucked 3 and two of them made me sign confidentiality agreements!” That exclamation point represents the smile his entire face made after he said that. Like it was his greatest accomplishment in life. Only in L.A. I used to think that hearing a dude make a loud diarrhea right before fuck times was the ultimate pre-sex boner killer, but I stood (more like laid on my back) corrected. It was the most disgusting and grossest thing ever. Yes, I still hit it, but I did the “I HATE MYSELF” cry for an extra five minutes while giving my crotch a towelette bath in my car afterward.

Rumor has it that this very conservative talk show host goes over seas to frequent the brothels for younger girls whenever he can get away…. (BuzzFoto)

Send Daryl Hannah after this sucio!

“Yeah, the producers asked me (C+ list actress with A list name recognition) to be on that show (hit network reality show featuring lots of couples who dance), but I told them no, because it was just not the way I see myself or feel would be beneficial to my craft as an actress. How is being on that show going to win me an Oscar? Plus, they don’t pay enough and I am just way too busy with other projects. I have so much going on now and can’t waste my time with something like that, but it is good for you (reality show brother) because you don’t have a lot going on and the money is probably right for someone like you.” (CDAN)

Lindsay Lohan and Rob Kardashian. Done.

This former star, but not winning female recent American Idol contestant is currently sleeping with a married executive of her record company and a married president of a company she met two weeks ago. Apparently our singer does not have many as in no female friends at all. I wonder why. (CDAN)

David Archuleta! Or Pia Toscano?

There’s a lot of money to be made in pregnancy. If you’re already famous, your public profile skyrockets even higher. You’ve got heat. You get more cover photos, more interview requests, more gossip column inches, more talk show appearances. You can expand your own product lines, as well as shill for products that were previously just out of your childless reach. Because, once you’re seen as a mother, you can add paragon of selflessness and motherhood and traditional family values to your resume. Even if you’re the most vain and selfish human being on the planet.

Yes, there’s a lot of money to be made in pregnancy. Even if you’re not as pregnant as you’re pretending to be. Even if you’re not pregnant at all. (Blind Gossip)

Beyonce or Jessica Simpson or both?

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