Yes, I know today was LinDslisted around here, but this will be the last Lohan-themed post today unless a Dateline NBC investigation reveals that White Oprah and Courtney Stodden are actually the same trick (very possible).
People asked LiLo’s rep to comment on why her rotting teeth look like she ate herself out of a grave of manure and dick cheese. If you looked up delusion, you’d find the number to a payphone outside of a discount liquor store on Long Island (it’s technically White Oprah’s contact number) and then you’d find this hilarious shit below it:
“Lindsay is widely acknowledged as one of the most stunning actresses of her day, and we get requests every week wanting to do photo shoots with her from top photographers.
She’s been on the cover of Vanity Fair and the top beauty and fashion magazines. She’s a beautiful and glamorous actress.
With everything going on – from deteriorating public education to rampant homelessness to international unrest – there is no way I’m going to comment on Lindsay’s teeth.”
If you need a publicist or just someone to make you feel better on days when you look and feel like an inside/out anus, hire this dude. He will crush the delusion into a pipe, take a long hit and then blow smoke up everyone’s asses. This motherfucker bedazzles every piece of bull shit that falls out of his mouth and he topped it all off by playing the “PEOPLE ARE STARVING IN THE WORLD” card. That could only mean one thing, LiLo’s “publicist” is totally White Oprah speaking in her hangover voice.