The question “How can you make Mark Ruffalo less fap-worthy?” has been answered with a mouth full of cold GOOP.
Mark Ruffalo looked like he was trying to swallow a load of barf and exhale at the same time as he shot a kissing scene with human activated charcoal Fishsticks Paltrow for their new movie called That Movie Where Mark Ruffalo Plays The Same Character He Plays In All His Movies. The director must have yelled at these two “Make it look like two scared blind trout trying to find the same piece of worm,” because that’s exactly what it looks like. They nailed it! If you’re thinking it looks more like two scared porn star vaginas trying not to cry while sharing Charlie Sheen’s dick, then you’re right too.
Mark is open-mouth heaving because he just read an advanced copy of GOOP’s (f)art issue and Fishy’s trying to ignore the fact that his breath smells like drugstore gum and soda that comes from a can. WISH YOURSELF INTO YOUR HAPPY PLACE (aka an ivory-covered bedroom bath tub filled with the amniotic fluid of a beluga whale), GOOP!