If you took Taylor Lautner out of Hollywood, you’d take away 90% of the gay blind items. Taylor Lautner is destined to join Scientology, marry some girl from a show on The CW, exchange her human parts for robot parts, claim the girl baby she made with her ex-boyfriend as his own and name his new daughter Irus. But Taylor says this isn’t going to happen. Even though Taylor has a forehead made for a butch top to watch HD porn on while he rides that peen cowboy-style, he says that he’s not gay at all.
“No, definitely not. I think they know I’m straight. But they’re great guys. They’re a lot of fun. It’s not a coincidence that there was a writer, a director and an actor at dinner.”
Oh yeah, GQ Australia. When two gay dudes take a straight (for pay) dude to dinner, they automatically try to footsie him in the crotch under the table. I know that when two straight dudes take me to dinner, by the time dessert rolls around they get me to eat a plate of coochies and cream. And then I’m turned! Before you know it, I’m feasting on poon pavlova and diving face first into pussies jubilee. After I air kiss the straights at the exit door, I turn back into a gay. Yup, I drink the cooze-aid every time I have dinner with two straight dudes.
As for Taylor saying he’s straight, this GIF starring one of his relatives pretty much sums up my response: