Tilda Swinton Wanted To Murder Her Baby Brother Once
Tilda Swinton plays the mother of a psychotic sociopath crazy in the movie We Need To Talk About Crystals: The Spencer Pratt Story. No, she plays the mother of a teenager murderer in We Need To Talk About Kevin and she tells The Telegraph Magazine (via UsWeekly) that when she was just a little girl she almost earned a place in juvie death row because one day she looked at her baby brother with those Hermey the Misfit Elf eyes of her and thought to herself RED RUM! RED RUM! REEED RUM! Let this little story tuck you into the pocket of your nightmares tonight:
"Years ago, when James Bulger was murdered, every newspaper front page was talking about evil. At that point, having suppressed it for years, I remembered when I was four or five, I tried to kill my own brother. He was newly born and I was disappointed, because he was the third boy. That was enough as far as I was concerned.I went into his room to kill him, saw some ribbons from a bonnet going into his mouth, and began to pull them out. And I was discovered saving his life. So I had this strange reputation - my brother's savior - and no one knew I wanted to kill him. It took the Bulger case for me to remember that I'd seriously wanted to."
This is why I feel a strange emotion called love for Tilda Swinton. One minute I want to lick her eyeball and the next minute I want to lick her eyeball while crying out of fear that she'll bite my chin off bone and all. Tilda could add five doses of creepy to almost any story. I bet when she reads Goldilocks and the Three Bears to her twins, they end up crying for Jesus. Bitch has that effect.
And who hasn't tried to kill their brother or sister? We all have. My sister and I could tell stories about how we tried to bash each other's skulls in with Barbie cars and how she threw me into a dryer. If she was able to reach those knobs, I'd probably have pieces of charbroiled brain hanging out of one of my ear holes (which would be slightly better than the current state of my brain). It's normal!
But you know that when Tilda goes to her brother's house for Christmas, he only serves mashed potato soup, turkey dogs, cranberry sauce Popsicle and anything else that you don't need a knife to eat. Ho isn't about to be almost murdered by his sister again.
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Something is terribly wrong with her. She must think her actions were somehow justified to publish such a dark 5 year old memory.
Does she have children? She looks like she would give birth to hairless cats.
Is this a dude? It looks like David Bowie.
Signing the Roman Polanski petition draws a line in the sand that is easy to see from far, far away. No ethics and no excuse.
Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 11:13pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by SomeLikeItHot on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:04pm.
My thoughts on Tilda:
She signed the Roman Polanski petition.
The End.
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The end is right. Bitch thinks she doesn't need make up when she desperately does. Fug ass pretentious twat.
Huh, I never knew Golum had siblings.
wow.
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The difficult brown?! I think we're all done here. -MK
Submitted by madam s.:I seem to love Tilda when she keeps her mouth shut, mainly because I think her androgynous look rocks.
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Me too! I loved her as the angel Gabriel in Constantine, and also in the movie Orlando.
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
Ya'll are some Children of the Corn mofos up in here!!!! (*side eyes all of ya'll)
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"You're ugly and your fucking bag is ugly too."--John Galliano (allegedly)
She's turning into that little goblin thing in Lord of the Rings.
Or maybe Yoda.
Mid-eighties social-worker/lesbian haircut!
Submitted by madam s. on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 7:41am.
She tries so hard to be eccentric and "arty" that it's ridiculous.
Erm, maybe she really is that way.
I just saw Tilda last month in person, and she is totally NOT fug. She is incredibly striking in person. She dressed androgynous the three days she was at Telluride, but she looked absolutely lovely.
Love this woman.
so did I
when I was about 5 or 6, we would come to visit my parents in ny, at that time we were living with our grandparents in DR, so my brother had a superman pj's and I convinced him that he could fly and to jump from our 5th floor apartment, he almost did but my stupid sister stopped him. I hated him when we were little he is only a year younger and got all the attention.
"I will pee myself today and when someone asks, "what is that smell?", I will happily tell them Veluptuous by KK!" Urmomma
HA! I love that I never hear much from Tilda, but when I do, it's things like this. I'm picturing her like Stewie.
Even if she's making it up, it's pretty fantastic.
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"I have a very poor way of concealing my dislike of people and/or things." -- Evil_Cupcake's Mom
Submitted by madam s. on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 7:45am.
And WHO I ask you, puts their newborn to bed in a bonnet with RIBBONS flowing from it?! Jesus. She wove this tale from the depths of her very active imagination. I mean, come on. Talk about a dramatic scene from some gothic art film.
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I believe it. Each generation changes. Now, those things in the crib, what are they called, bumpers?, aren't recommended because they baby can smother or some shit like that. I was just glad that an extra piece of bedding was removed, one less thing to wash. Shoes for babies aren't recommended either, but there was a time they all had them, and they weren't soft soled.
And one last thing. Some old timers here learned to ride a bike without a helmet and kneepads. Toddlers used to be able to sit in the front seat.
And WHO I ask you, puts their newborn to bed in a bonnet with RIBBONS flowing from it?! Jesus. She wove this tale from the depths of her very active imagination. I mean, come on. Talk about a dramatic scene from some gothic art film.
I seem to love Tilda when she keeps her mouth shut, mainly because I think her androgynous look rocks. But good lord, she makes me roll my eyes until I think they'll fall out of my head. She tries so hard to be eccentric and "arty" that it's ridiculous. But I'm sure the next time she's photographed in some crazy, cool, odd way, I won't be able to help myself and I'll like her again...
Did anyone see that movie "Joshua" with Vera Farmiga and Sam what's his name? Check it out, it's worth the rental. He and Esther from "Orphan" would be a vicious tag team.
i wanted to kill my whorey ex wife
but i divorced her slutty ass instead
suck on that bitch & i kept the house
ha ha ha
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♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
glad to know there are so many woulda-been killers on this board - it makes me feel better about my own hateful ass.
she is so fug...these stories are hilarious.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
Tilda is an excellent actress but looks like the Borg queen and does not even need theatrical makeup to do so.
This reminds me of the scene in Welcome to the Dollhouse where Weiner Dog stands over her annoying sleeping little sister with a knife.
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Visit Anthony Higgins Performances on Facebook.
I never tried to kill my brother. Unless you count that time I threw a remote control at him (bastard ducked) and it shattered against the wall.
Once I left him a dead snake in his desk for snitching on me. (I guess in a past life I was in the mafia or something)
On thanksgiving I convinced him that the turkey was our baby brother and that our parents were fattening him up for next year. He still wont eat turkey.
Besides that, we only beat the living shit out of each other until our mom walked in with the belt, then it was time to run.
Hey sluts. These stories of you and your siblings are cracking me up. More please.
Chinatown is one of my all time favorite movies but I still think Roman Polanski is a pervert pedophile. Tilda signed the petition and she's an excellent actress who's morally bankrupt.
Who didn't want to kill their stupid sibling?? My sister is 5 years older than me... the only thing good about her is she was a cheerleader and had hot as FUCK gfs that would come over, sit around in their bikinis, etc.. Other than that, mean fucking bitch. She used to pinch the shit out of me just walking by... she threw a math book at me one time and broke two ribs... and yes, I'm sure I did nothing to provoke it :P
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
My Lord, I searched that Jamie Bulger and hard to believe those killer boys are out. Well..one if them is out, the sicko of the two is back in jail after being released and assuming a new identity, he was found to have child porn.
Crazy how these 10 year old boys were so vicious! Yet, they proclaim that the penal system was so hard on them cause they were treated like criminals.
NO SHIT! That because they were psycho killers in training.
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Brevity may be the soul of wit, but to twit without wit is soulless -- Johanne Savoie
OK I guess since we're a tellin the truth and everything, I had, well let's just call them outbust where I would go off the fucking deep-end and snap like a little psycho and you needed a couple of people to hold my little 85lb frame down...you get the idea, ANYHOO I did have one hell of a throwing arm on me and when my older brother started hacking on me one day I first picked up a hot-wheel and from about 5 feet away I threw that fucking car so hard I split the crap out of eyebrow giving him a nice deep deep cut and about 4 stitches THEN I picked up a Tonka Toy bulldozer and chased him smashing him in the back of the head with it further cutting the crap out of him until he was a bloody mess. When my MOM can running in there he was bleeding like a stuck pig and me wild eyed holding what was surely bent Tonka bulldozer. He never did stop bugging the shit out of me but he did it from a hell of a lot further away.
We get along quite well now and I love him dearly but he still reminds me about "the day I went psycho on him". and yes he still has a faint "hotwheel scar"
Submitted by Hysteria on Wed, 10/12/2011 - 1:54am.
I tried to electrocute a neighbor girl who infuriated me with her irritating ways. I grabbed her arms behind her back and pushed her face within inches of an electric fence
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You do realize you would have been electrocuted too right? LMAO!
She is fabulous
Too bad her brother didn't kill HER. And when you're that ugly please spare us the fucked face headshots.
I never tried to kill my brother. I was more into psychological torture. You know, destroying him from the inside out.
As someone who has been on the receiving end of a sibling murder attempt, I just lost a little respect for her. Yeah, kids play rough, but don't try to make violence with intent to kill sound cool. So I guess Hollywood's message is if you call a classmate names, you deserve the gas chamber, but if you rape a 13-year-old girl or try to kill your baby sibling, you're deep and artistic.
i don't recall trying to murder my siblings, but at my nephew's 2 year old birthday party, there are pictures of him choking out other children....perhaps that was his way of saying "thanks for the sucky presents"....
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"The thing women have yet to learn is nobody gives you power. You just take it." --
Roseanne Barr
Those are contact lenses.
And I LOVE the stories of people who tried to kill their siblings (and vice versa). That's what I COME here for.
bish can act her socks off. love me some tilda. always know that whatever fucked up movie you are watching..if she is in the shit. it's gold. shes fucking insanely talented!
I never tried to kill my older brother. I threw butcher knives at him and took a few swings at him with a baseball bat, but only when he was being unfair with the TV remote.
He, however, tried to drown me in our great-uncle's pool. He coaxed me into the deep end by swearing that he wouldn't let me drown, but as soon we got to 9 ft. he let me go and tried to drown me by pushing my head underwater. My great-uncle happened to come outside at that moment though and foiled my brother's plans.
Anyway, we're like best friends now so there's that.
...My darling can't you see
My heart sounds just for you my dear...
She looks like an alien. i like it!
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
ok, I seriously should not have googled James Bulger...jesus it is bed time and now I can't sleep
Ahahaaaa! This thread is hilarious.
Childhood incidents of acting out rage against siblings or friends don't sound quite SO horrific when you realize they're kinda normal. Kids haven't learned to control rage/impulse yet.
That's why we need moms & dads!
I tried to electrocute a neighbor girl who infuriated me with her irritating ways. I grabbed her arms behind her back and pushed her face within inches of an electric fence. Pfffft! I finally just let her go.
Some really good story telling up in here. Way to go you murderous dlisters!
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I never tried to kill any siblings. But when I was in like 3 grade, I tried to drown a 5 or 6 year old girl. She was my neighbor and we would play but sometimes she would annoy the fuck outta me ( same with ALL my friends when I was a kid).
Anymaybeiwantedtomurderakid, one day a friend invited me to her house. She had a Kiddie pool and we were going to splash around. When she told me about it, the little girl was there and I didn't want her to hear but I couldn't tell her that she couldn't come along. I didn't invite her either and she tagged along. While there, I remember just holding her down for several seconds. My friend who was about 2 years older, didn't do or say a thing. She just watched. And I guess my rage dissipated because I let her come up for air. I didn't apologize, I just told her that she better keep her mouth shut. No one ever found out.
The poster formerly known as NIGHTOWL
That is some Welcome to the Dollhouse type shit. I don't even know if Dawn Wiener is that cold.
@Crywolf, you guys are hilarious. Reminds me of how Garfield was always trying to mail Nermal to Abu Dhabi.
My older brother used to drive his girlfriends up to this little park about a block from our house to put a few more notches on his bed post. Anyway I decided to teach him a lesson. I followed his car up and waited for awhile for things to get on. Then I reached into my bag and pulled out a hockey mask and put it on. Then I walked on over to the car, picked up my bro's jeans off the ground and took out his keys. I tapped on the window and believe me to this day I don't know who screamed louder him or her. Either way they both freaked and when he went to start the car, I tapped on the glass and dangled the keys in a bored "Forget something?" mode and started running around unlocking the doors and the whole time they're both screaming like a couple of girls. In the end, I ended up laughing so hard I gave myself away. My bro was pissed. He chased me down and tackled me to the ground (then a 225 lbs of muscle linebacker; now a 250 lbs of muscle cop) and literally he made me eat grass. And dirt, and twigs and whatever else he could fit in his hands.
When I was a baby my brother nearly smothered me with baby powder. He wanted to help Mom take care of his new "brodder" and ended up squeezing most of the bottle on me. My mom still has the pic in my baby book of me and all you can see is my eyes and nostrals. Fast forward 5 years later I tried mailing my sister away using the stamps out of Dad's collection. Stuck about three pages worth on her face and sat her out on the front porch. Then the mailman knocked on the door and gave her back to Mom.
But closet thing was because she threw a remote control at my head and the tooth incident was an accident I swear! LOLOL!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 11:05pm.
She is the ugliest woman alive, and NO. Not everyone tries to kill their siblings. That's called attempted fucking murder. All I ever did was knock out my little sister's tooth and lock her in the utility closet, OKAY!
LOL! Now that I think of it, I did whack my brothers head with a tennis racket but that was after he threw my skateboard out into the street.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by SomeLikeItHot on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:04pm.
My thoughts on Tilda:
She signed the Roman Polanski petition.
The End.
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Co-sign.
That is always my immediate thought whenever this cunt's name is mentioned.
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Exactly. No matter how talented a person is, when I see they signed the petition I just think: kiss-ass, pretentious, sleazy.
Co-sign infinity!!!
Just because it wasn't RAPE rape doesn't make it ok.
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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.Submitted by Zorba-the-Geek on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 11:13pm.
Submitted by becky n sydney on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:27pm.
Submitted by SomeLikeItHot on Tue, 10/11/2011 - 9:04pm.
My thoughts on Tilda:
She signed the Roman Polanski petition.
The End.
""""""""""""""""""""""""""
Co-sign.
That is always my immediate thought whenever this cunt's name is mentioned.
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Exactly. No matter how talented a person is, when I see they signed the petition I just think: kiss-ass, pretentious, sleazy.