Never mind that Cher had John Travolta’s Battlefield Earth wig on top of her head, I think my heart burped out a warm feeling last night when her eyes got covered with a shiny layer of pride after watching Chaz Bono twist his shit to the Rocky theme song on Dancing with the Stars. It’s the same look I made when I read that there’s an IHOP in the East Village now. Cher’s got that Rooty Tooty Fresh ‘N Fruity twinkle in her eye.
Cher beaming with pride through her face reminds me of the time that my mom gave me a “good job” hug after my 3rd grade recorder recital even though I stopped blowing halfway (insert your “how times have changed” joke here) and sat my quitting ass down. Just proud as all shit to see their child up there. Chaz and Lacey Schwimmer get an A for effort and they also get a very special A for delivering one of the messiest performances of the night. It was like watching a Fourth of July-themed Scion commercial starring those dancing hamsters.