Tiger Woods Almost Got Pounded With A Wiener
Tiger Woods is usually the dude who does the wiener throwing, but at yesterday's Frys.com Open he got a taste of his owner wiener medicine when a crazy broke out onto the green to throw a hot dog at him. Watching a hot dog flying down the green is pretty much the closest thing we'll ever get to watching a Tiger Woods and Rachel Cuchitel fuck tape.
Tiger was just about to put his ball into a hole when the 31-year-old fucktardian hot dog launcher ran toward him and wasted a perfectly good sausage by missing him by 20 feet. Just like what most of us do after we toss our meat, the wiener slinger laid down on the green and waited for security to drag him away. Tiger told reporters afterward, "Some guy just came running on the green, and he had a hot dog. I don't know how he tried to throw it, but I was kind of focusing on my putt when he started yelling. Next thing I know, he laid on the ground, and looked like he wanted to be arrested."
That sounds like the synopsis of 99% of my first dates.
You know, you really have to be a new kind of dumb to throw a hot dog at Tiger Woods. It's a waste of a hot dog, a set of buns and a waste of your own energy. The smart thing to do would've been to tip toe onto the green with an open face clam and roast beef taco in your hand. Instead of the headline being "Dumbass Throws Hot Dog At Tiger Woods" it would've been "Tiger Woods Throws Himself On An Open Face Clam And Roast Beef Taco."
Click here to see the video which really doesn't show shit.
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i want that picture to follow me everywhere i go in life. too fantastic.
www.hangryhippo.com: Where hunger, anger, media consumption, and satire meet for a snack
LMFAOOO at banner pic. Again, all I can think about is "hotdog down the hall". I'd sell my soul to have seen that bunned hotdog literally hit that man-whore upside the head - 'kraut/ketchup/relish splattering - as he's cheering. God I wish that mess collided with him lmao
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Bugs Bunny 'What's Opera, Doc?"- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C2VMqQ6XnmI (Beginning portion)
Dre,Eminem, Skylar- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VA770wpLX-Q&ob=av3e
That looks shopped! I want to see it HIT him, for hells bells.
Submitted by little_rascal on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:36pm.
Submitted by elmo533 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:15pm.
A hot dog? Why not throw something useful like condoms. Or coupons to the free clinic; lifetime confidentiality forms for future whores...be creative dude.
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Or a brick.
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Hahahaaha!
What a waste of a perfect delicacy - a good hotgog! Delishushness
John Daly be picking that hot dog up and eating it, sure as shit.
Oh please. He's been pounded by a wiener before...no 'almost' about it! Why else the big money to shut those mouths, hmm? Hell, I read that he liked to fantasize about David Boreanz with Coochitel. The man is a freak, plain and simple.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 1:03pm.
Why would anybody want to cuddle with an extremely premature dead baby? I don't care if it is your child. It's a personal decision, yes, but not one that I will ever understand...
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I hope that neither you nor anyone else on here will be put in that situation. Imagine carrying this fetus that turns into a baby. During that time, you're patting your tummy, maybe giving it a name so that you don't have to call or refer to it as "it." Your body is changing, getting ready for this arrival. Your tits are getting big, your nipples are really sensitive, you might not be sleeping through the night, perhaps in preparation for future countless nights of sleep (and your feet fucking swell like Kim Kardashian's ass, your belly button becomes a nose, etc.). And then the day comes for delivery. And there are...problems. I don't know what I would do, but maybe, just maybe, the mother wanted to hold this person--someone she'd only been able to touch and talk to through her stomach--and somehow let this tiny creature "know" the feel of a mother's hug and love. Maybe it was better for her to hold her baby with it's head sutured on rather than watch her headless baby removed by strangers. I don't know, I'm just guessing here, and I'm certainly not judging.
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:14pm.
...If you don't want shit thrown at you, don't do horrible things.
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Or at least remember the safety word or don't stand so close to the primate cages at the zoo.
Submitted by PrettyHateMachine on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:09pm.
...Most guys who golf are pricks anyway.
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Ditto.
Exhibit A: http://alt.coxnewsweb.com/cnishared/tools/shared/mediahub/02/04/18/slide...
Awe, thanks ho's. I'm all good! Everything happens for a reason, even as cruel as it is.
Stoney - nope, it were another boy. Seems that's all I can produce. LOL
For some reason I thought you had lost a baby girl, M.E., but either way, very sorry it happened to you. xo
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Hugs, M.E.
I think I too would need to see the baby, just so I can begin to process the reality of what happened.
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But this IS my alt!
lubz u M.E.!!!!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
(((M.E.)))
*hugs m.e.* that happened to one of my gf's a long time ago. she's still sad about her loss from time to time. so sorry.
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
No, I get that....what I don't understand is when do you draw the line when the baby is SO premature? Less than 10 inches? DAYUM.
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 1:03pm.
Why would anybody want to cuddle with an extremely premature dead baby? I don't care if it is your child. It's a personal decision, yes, but not one that I will ever understand. At what point should you just pass on that part? "I'm sorry for your loss, here's your placenta with the microscopic zygote so you can say goodbye..." I apologize if I sound ignorant on this subject and I know having a miscarriage or stillbirth is nothing to joke about. I'm still not over my facebook friend who posted the pictures of her stillborn child, and that child was full term...
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Most women want to hold them for closure. You spend your entire pregnancy waiting for this little life and to hold it so when it goes wrong and the baby dies, holding the body is for closure.
And posting the pics on FB? I don't think that is right. Not everyone wants to see pictures of your dead baby.
there are only a seldom few who've seen my pictures, that I keep tucked away with his hospital outfit, foot prints and related items.
LOL I"m in love with the teacher who's been arrested four times for beating her husband....
yeah, I know, sick....
REPORTED.
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But this IS my alt!
Mike I owe you one! I would have missed "But, alas, news reports said that Booker was able to clench his ass cheeks together with such an amazing force that the fortress that was his ass could not be penetrated."
*lays in a heap convulsing with laughter*
NORMAN, Okla. - A woman charged with raping a 13-year-old boy has found herself back in jail after she tried to slip the boy a love note wrapped in a burrito.
Amy Blose, 37, was charged with eight counts of rape back in April after police found out about her sexual relationship with a 13-year-old-boy. She had been free on $20,000 bond with stipulations she not have contact with children under the age 18 — especially the victim.
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:14pm.
When you do horrible things you should be prepared for people to throw shit at you. If you don't want shit thrown at you, don't do horrible things.
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*Puts on helmet and padding*
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Masturbation is not a GD game of Clue, there is no reason to head to the broom closet with a rope and a lead pipe. --michelleb
I can't stop reading that stupid site now. Yall suck!
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Stoney on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:53pm.
*feels queasy*
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It may be cuz I'm still so tired from the weekend but I LOLLL'd at *feels queasy*.
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"I have no snacks for you, only death." ~ annobanano, 08/03/2011
y'all this is like a wreck you can't look away from. *hurls*
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Submitted by DirtyWhoreMouth on Sat, 06/11/2011 - 9:32am.
It's ok to be a redneck by the way.. just don't yell git 'er done because we all hate that.
I know, stoney, that's how I feel too, but I guess we wouldn't know how it felt unless we were in her shoes.
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Aw thanks Mike!! :) I know, I know, I'm a wuss.
" A fetus is encased in the amniotic sack. "
or as we like to call it at Dlisted 'a Haven"
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Why would anybody want to cuddle with an extremely premature dead baby? I don't care if it is your child. It's a personal decision, yes, but not one that I will ever understand. At what point should you just pass on that part? "I'm sorry for your loss, here's your placenta with the microscopic zygote so you can say goodbye..." I apologize if I sound ignorant on this subject and I know having a miscarriage or stillbirth is nothing to joke about. I'm still not over my facebook friend who posted the pictures of her stillborn child, and that child was full term...
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
Submitted by Sweetas on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:57pm.
DD stuff?? With babies?? *fingers in ears* LALALALALALALALALALA Ugh I don't see how you guys can stomach that site. And now you have me wanting to see the crack up the ass story, dammit. :p
Here's a direct link. Just don't look at the sidebar (where they list top stories).
http://www.dreamindemon.com/2011/10/10/string-hanging-from-mans-anus-lea...
There is something wrong with that story. A fetus is encased in the amniotic sack. Unless, or until the sack has been ruptured, the baby wouldn't have been exposed.
If they were trying to close her cervix, what was the head doing there anyway?
Sounds to me like she was already in the process of a late development misscarriage.
shudda thrown stained panties
☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺☺
♦ When all else fails, they call me.
♦ Life sucks. Shit Happens. I'm a student of t-shirts.
Wow, Billy Bob Thorton's daughter just got 20 years in jail for killing her best friends 1 year old bebe!
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:49pm.
OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMGO
" they sutured the fucking head back onto a dead baby corpse and left it with the mother through the night."
:O
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It is common for hospitals to allow the mother and father time with their deceased infant, it is supposed to help in the grieving process. So I believe this woman wanted to hold her dead baby so the doctors sewed the head back on to make it a "whole" unit rather than a headless body.
Either way, at 21 weeks it would have never survived. A 21 week old fetus is only about 10 inches long.
http://www.babycenter.com/6_your-pregnancy-21-weeks_1110.bc
DD stuff?? With babies?? *fingers in ears* LALALALALALALALALALA Ugh I don't see how you guys can stomach that site. And now you have me wanting to see the crack up the ass story, dammit. :p
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:49pm.
And don't forget the baby was ~20 months or so (so it didn't look like a typical newborn).
I'm sure the baby's head came off because the neck was so tiny because it was so premature. Neck was probably just a thin thread of a thing.
*feels queasy*
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"Let s/he who is without sin, cast the first Stoney."
OMG OMG OMGOMGOMGOMGOGMOGMGO
" they sutured the fucking head back onto a dead baby corpse and left it with the mother through the night."
:O
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Raul would throw a hot dog into Michelle Wie &
HOTNEY.
http://youtu.be/i9WOdnR-Nfs
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I'm not a living legend. I'm just a myth.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:26pm.
Remember when George was trying to get fired from The Yankees?
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And he was wiping his food covered hands on Babe Ruth's uniform?
Tigers game is of major suckage.
I don't think he'll ever reclaim the glory he once had.
he is one ugly dood
Submitted by elmo533 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:15pm.
A hot dog? Why not throw something useful like condoms. Or coupons to the free clinic; lifetime confidentiality forms for future whores...be creative dude.
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Or a brick.
Submitted by snowpiece on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:32pm.
what's that DD site again?
http://www.dreamindemon.com/
warning - above site is distressful to a lot of people!
the one Mike and M.E. are talking about, I forget what is called now, it has gory news stories
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
DD? Dungeons and Dragons?
what's that DD site again?
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"Basically, Murlonio means "from Rob's ass" in Dumfuckanese." MK
"WE ARE THE TRIFECTA OF HATE ENTER THE TRIANGLE." Sucky 6/14/11
Mike - yes, that was the worst part. But I still can't figure out how she was able to see it, unless there was some sort of mirror infront of her.
Submitted by M.E. on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 12:26pm.
Yeah, the decapitation one. The woman seeing it happen was the worst part to me.
Fanks, Tharty. Whoops. I mean, thanks, Farty!
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