Hot Slut Of The Day!

October 10, 2011 / Posted by:

Today is the day where Canada gives thanks to the maple leaf deities for giving them universal healthcare, clouds of weed smoke over Vancouver, Ryan Gosling’s body, the letter U and Jane Child. So as Canadians nibble on their leftover weed stuffing, let’s honor one turkey who probably won’t be eaten anytime soon since he will beak a bitch in the froat if they come near him. A producer named Duffy Kelly from the local news went out into a Sacramento neighborhood to do a story on a cunturkey who has been terrorizing joggers and was completely surprised when said cunturkey terrorized her!

I’m using the word “terrorized” for melodramatic purposes, because Terrible Tom isn’t really attacking anyone. He’s just telling Duffy to get the fuck out of his wattle in so many gobbles. But he freaked Duffy out and she won’t ever be back, so his job here is done. Or is it? On our Thanksgiving, I hope Duffy’s family brings out the covered turkey platter and opens it to find Terrible Tom lounging on a bed of lettuce with a look in his beady eye like he’s ready for round 2! To be cuntinued…

On that note, Happy Thanksgiving, Canada! And Happy Chris Columbus Day (the day of the year when we take off of work to watch Adventures in Babysitting together as a nation), Amurica!

via The Daily What

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