Escandaloso: Beyonce's Bump Magically Folds In Half On TV
Sandra Rose posted these hilarious screen shots from Beyonce's appearance on Sunday Night HD last night and as she sits down for the interview the holy skin cocoon protecting the unborn golden child completely collapses. HAHA. Sandra says that ever since Beyonce pulled the ultimate STUNT QUEEN move by unveiling her bump in dramatic queen fashion at the VMAs, conspiracy theorists have been whispering on the Internet that she's faking it and Basement Baby's afro is the one carrying her baby and will give birth to it in February. I grew up thinking that Dynasty was real life, so I love scandalous shit like this, but let me throw out a few theories as to what's really going on.
1. The unborn golden child is so special that it can only grow in Beyonce's butt.
2. The unborn golden child is so special that Beyonce has to wear a protective pad to keep it safe.
3. This is just marketing for House of Dereon's new line of memory foam bumps.
4. Nicole Kidman wasn't available when Beyonce asked if she could give her private lessons on how a skilled professional wears a pillow baby to perfection.
5. This is completely natural and I have no idea what I'm talking about (as usual) since I've only been pregnant with whoopie pie babies that later became poop babies.
6. Stealyonce strikes again and stole this idea from Desperate Housewives!
And here's the video of Beyonce's bump in motion. Yeah, I didn't know J.R. Ewing became Australian either.
See, something in the amniotic fluid ain't creole! Somebody get MythBusters on the case!
(Thanks to everybody who sent this in)
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She always sounds so fucking ghetto no matter what...those L'Oreal commercials of her are sooooo hood. Bitch learn to speak.
Submitted by boston61 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:10pm.
We all know how Beyonce hates being black. A black baby would require lots of wigs and skin treatments. Easier to just have a white girl carry it.
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"We"? I didn't know that she hates being black. Is it like how you hate being gay?
Submitted by boston61 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:04pm.
Sarah Jessica and Nicole Kidman had more important things to do when they were young so when they got older they each took advantage of another younger woman who was desperate for some money. Desperate enough to rent out her womb to these selfish stars. They bought babies
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Whether or not they carried the babies themselves is not the biggest deal. Its how they are as mothers that matters most. Parenting requires constant acts of selflesness and a woman can do that whether she birthed the baby herself or adopted a child dropped off on her doorstep. I'm not defending either SJP or Nicole because I don't know them personally, but who knows maybe they give their children more love than anyone else could.
"The Bodyguard" should be remade starring Beyonce and Solange.
Submitted by boston61 on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 10:10pm.
Jesus, shut. Up. Can you be any more obtuse and offensive?
We all know how Beyonce hates being black. A black baby would require lots of wigs and skin treatments. Easier to just have a white girl carry it.
Submitted by TimC on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 8:53pm.
Most of that strange effect is just shadows from her hair/weave on her belly. Then at the end it looks like it squishes down and stretches outward in front of her, but that looks like the video is distorting things rather than her belly being squished around. She always seems nice enough, but it seems kind of phoney. "OMG we were all freaking out" when DC went solo. I'm sure the other two were freaking out because the gravy train was over, but I can't believe Bey worried one second about how it would workk out for her.
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Ditto. Michelle Williams was like, but I've got to wait ten more years until my AARP card comes in, and Kelly what's her face (see?!?!) was like, man, I guess it's back to the basement with Solange.
Something aint right in illuminati country. I watched that video 5 times. How her belly fold like that in the dress? Uh-uh. Them crazy devil worshiping people scaring me right now.
Not to mention the fact that the announcement was suspect to me in he first place. The timing and eagerness to announce it when they been so quiet about everything else in their relationship. I got heebie jeebie hives right now.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
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(='.'=)
(")_(")
Sarah Jessica and Nicole Kidman had more important things to do when they were young so when they got older they each took advantage of another younger woman who was desperate for some money. Desperate enough to rent out her womb to these selfish stars. They bought babies.
Points for her boobies looking like Knudson gallons, 1 point for the pregnant waddle, but all points taken away on the Tempur-Pedic pillow
Submitted by smokeybaconflavour on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 9:58pm.
This makes me repect SJP for being honest about using a surrogate mother. It also explains how all these Hollywood women go back to having their pre-baby bodies after giving birth.
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With SJP, I wonder if her ultra-low body weight along with age had anything to do with using a surrogate. It doesn't make it any less vain, but I agree that it was good of her for being honest.
This makes me repect SJP for being honest about using a surrogate mother. It also explains how all these Hollywood women go back to having their pre-baby bodies after giving birth.
If she does get caught in a lie, I wonder what her explanation would be.
Wow that was weird. It can't have been excess material as the dress is quite snug. So what the fuck happened?
BIZARRE!
There's a picture of Beyonce in a green and white dress in NYC on Radar. Her belly looks even weirder.
Submitted by ponchiks on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 5:38pm.
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Separation of the pubic symphysis-OUCH
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get harpooned bitch
Submitted by Few Words on Fri, 09/16/2011
betterthanyomama, That does make sense! Anyone find the Blind?
Oh, and at 11:01, there's a pretty extreme lean forward from Beyoncé. Where does her belly go?
From Sandra Rose in September:
"...We’re hearing all kinds of crazy rumors from our industry friends who tell us that Beyoncé is not even pregnant — but the surrogate mother is. We’re told that the surrogate mother has been paid a truck load of cash to carry their seed quietly on some remote island where, coincidentally, Beyoncé and Jigga will be vacationing next year.
We’ll know if the rumors are true when Beyoncé “gives birth” on a tropical island in the Caribbean next February or March.
Reportedly, Beyoncé and Jigga went the route of other wealthy couples who have problems conceiving: they allegedly paid a professional surrogate to carry their seed while Bey carries her prosthetic baby bump. Expect to see Bey and Jay out & about a lot in the coming months..."
Definitely pillow baby. Plus she a made a "oh shit" face right before they cut it. Very obvious if you pause and play several times.
And now to the more pressing question:
Yes, I have no life!
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"I'm so over Sookie and her precious fairy vagina and her unbelievably stupid name! Fuck Sookie!" - Vampire Badass Pamela Swynford De Beaufort.
Not sure if anyone mentioned this or not, but a few months back there was a blind item hinting at her and Jay. It basically said he knocked up a foreign model and that she was going to fake a pregnancy to explain their suddenly having a child. Seems all is on schedule.
The thing is, if you are going to fake a pregnancy, do it and stay your ass at the house. Take all of the phony pg photos you want with your own photogs and claim a difficult pregnancy is the reason. She needs better people.
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Halloween Giveaway
"I like your posts but sometimes they make me feel like I'm on drugs." - by speakit on September 26, 2008
No idea what you're all talking about. The material just folded forward. I think you guys are seeing it as folding in, not out.
Anyway, the guy isn't British, MK. He's Australian.
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This signature will be publicly displayed at the end of my comments.
http://hipandcritical.blogspot.com/
It does look like something is wrong with this.
There was never a point in which my pregnant belly was "squishy", anyone else? It was always rock hard. Perhaps if you were very overweight to start? (Which Beyonce wasn't.) I can't outright say that she isn't pregnant, but it still looks like a foam "enhancing" insert to me.
I had a friend who used to use her poochy non-pregnant belly to gain her sympathy and a "pass" to get out of tickets, cut lines, snag seats, etc. The way Beyonce rubbed her belly like she was the first pregnant woman in the world makes me think she's using the pooch to her advantage.
How can her dress "fold" like that when it's obvious it's tight?. In the second thumbnail it looks like her belly is concave. How far along does she claim to be? by the size of her tummy it looks like she's 6-7 months pregnant.
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-"I am not about to deal with unstable people" - HEART ANGELINA.
that fking stunt queen.
even nicole kidman did a better job at the baby bump.
RE-WATCH THE VIDEO, turn the volume up.
At the instant of the "fold," a female handler reaches out like "oh shit it collapsed." Then beyonce makes an "oh shit" face, AND - if you listen closely - she says "Did you..." before the vid cuts. I bet she was saying "Did you see that?!"
FAKE. And I ain't wearing no tinfoil hat.
*sips scotch*
Most of that strange effect is just shadows from her hair/weave on her belly. Then at the end it looks like it squishes down and stretches outward in front of her, but that looks like the video is distorting things rather than her belly being squished around. She always seems nice enough, but it seems kind of phoney. "OMG we were all freaking out" when DC went solo. I'm sure the other two were freaking out because the gravy train was over, but I can't believe Bey worried one second about how it would workk out for her.
This is the strangest thing I have ever seen. I might be in the minority but I loved being pregnant. I liked feeling the baby move around and getting a big belly. Yeah the weight gain sucks but it comes off if you work at it.
hahahahaha! she even tries to walk with a pregnant "waddle". nice try but no.
I feel the bikini pic of her showing her bump on the beach with Jay Z looks strange,the belly does not look natural at all,maybe a sculpted belly made of silicon,hmmmmm,just wierd.
~Failure is not falling down,it is not getting up again~
There's no way that baby bump is real. A pregnant belly just does not move like that. I'm Team Surrogacy on this one.
Submitted by Miss Thang on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 7:51pm.
lol, I LOVE stories like this, the whole thing is hilarious to me. And yes I do believe she is carrying the child of Satan himself.
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Someone called J,Z the hamburgler on the SandraRose site; and another on that site said Larry Johnson and J,Z were setting up their "nursery" waiting for the surrogate :) haha
Submitted by Miss Thang on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 7:51pm.
lol, I LOVE stories like this, the whole thing is hilarious to me. And yes I do believe she is carrying the child of Satan himself.
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Someone called J,Z the hamburgler on the SandraRose site; and another on that site said Larry Johnson and J,Z were setting up their "nursery" waiting for the surrogate :) haha
Wow. That is fucked up.
Submitted by drummergrrrl on Mon, 10/10/2011 - 8:22pm.
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Thanks. I so enjoy most of the avi's on here. I actually saved MK's dancing Buseys on my pc and when I need a pick me up or someone I know needs a pick me up, I send it to them :)
Andy Pipkin is the shit as well.
Lovelylaney, I honestly spent about 10 minutes laughing at your avi!!! I love it!
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There's nothing nice in my head - the adult world took it all away.
I certainly agree on all points, but the Kidman thing. She was definitely preggers, swollen knees and all!!
Okay. Drop the tin foil hats everyone.
As for whomever said this: Regarding Nicole Kidman, I'm convinced the first one was a pillow baby. She never looked pregnant to me.
When my sister was pregnant she could still fit into her regular pants and barely had anything resembling a bump.
Oh God, looking at that fan and concert footage makes me uncomfortable. She wants to be the female Michael Jackson soooo bad.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
I dont believe she's pregnant and as for her face and breasts? A few buckets of popeyes fried chicken a couple of times a week is all yuo'd need to pull off the "phony weight" gain.
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"The world is a pretty nice place if you're happy"
John Garfield
No one lives forever
That belly is as real as her hair and marriage.
I'm on team surrogacy.
lol, I LOVE stories like this, the whole thing is hilarious to me. And yes I do believe she is carrying the child of Satan himself.
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I like living this way. I like loving this way.
WTF??? I know some ppl are saying that she is using padding to accentuate her stomach, the question is why? Most women want to look skinny during their pregnancy not bigger. I've never seen a pregnant woman's stomach do that, can this happen?
I don't understand why she (and others) won't just admit to surrogacy... because that obviously is what Beyonce is doing.
I like the idea that she wanted the baby and wanted it to give her more attention, but she didn't want to lose her body, so then hence the fake baby bump.
I'll take the "i told you so's" if this bitch is really pregnant in exchange for her disappearing the fuck off for a long ass while jesus fucking christ, pleas ego away bitch.
Also, can the word "cookie cutter" be added to Slutty's list? (was it Slutty or someone else?) what douche ass phrase "cookie cutter"
hmpf.
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Eazy E's own prescription for "nourishing the inner aspect", Nutz On Ya Chin.
It looks like her dress just floated away from her body as she was sitting and the fabric folded. *Kanye shrug* I dunno. I hate the conspiracy pregnancy bullshit because it's just so ridiculously ignorant. I just can't with the pregnancy conspiracies. I mean seriously. I don't have kids, but a lot of my gfs, cousins, sisters have so I know that pregnancy isn't cookie cutter.
That being said, I really do believe in the Katie Holmes pregnancy. For the record, I do believe she was pregnant, and I do believe Suri is hers, I just don't think Tommy Girl is the father. I know. I'm a fucking hypocrite.
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If love had a dick I would eff with it. But it doesn't (it has a no crotch like Barbie).
I dunno, I do kinda think that the dress folded. Its on of those silky airy dresses. Maybe air got in, as she sat down, and there was enough material to fold.
@allesandra
I hope this is sarcasm.
So fuckin' pathetic! Fake birth year, fake pregnancy, fake ass French name and fake hair - she's such a phoney.
Nigella and Jamie ain't got shit on Titli !
http://titlisbusykitchen.com/
Well, that about seals it for me. Def not preggo. Not that I give a shit about this two-bit overhyped piece of untalented ass, her ugly husband, and their soon to be unfortunate-looking child.
Boston Bruins-- Stanley Cup Champs 2011