Kim Kardashian Is Such A Selfless Soul Who Sacrifices So Much For Her “Fans”

October 8, 2011 / Posted by:

Oh look, it’s a plastic horse’s ass on a plastic horse’s ass.

Seen here in Brooklyn today riding on a horse’s back in front of the cameras instead of riding on horse dick in front of the cameras for a change, the head ho of Pimp Mama Kris’ whore ring tells Australia’s InStyle magazine (via Daily Mail) that she and her punching bag of dumb husband only filmed their commitment ceremony to Lucifer, because if she didn’t she’d disappoint all of her “fans.”

Kim didn’t do it for the millions of dollars or because she can’t squirt out a wet queef without a 5-person camera crew focused on her snatch. Nope, not at all. When InStyle asked Kim why she chose to televise her wedding, she barked at 4 assistants to spread her ass cheeks apart and she pushed this answer out of her bullshit hole:

“That was a really big discussion, we took weeks to decide if we were going to film it or not, but I felt like my fans – everyone that has gone on this journey with me, seeing different relationships that I’ve been in – would feel cheated if I didn’t film it. It was something that Kris and I were okay with, and the beauty of it is we get to edit it. It [will be] great to look back at that and see this time in our lives.”

Yes, I’m sure the really big, three-week long discussion went something like this:

E! Executive: We’ll pay $13 million and we’ll give you five hours of airtime.
People Editor: We’ll give you $2.5 million for the pictures, Kim.
Pimp Mama Kris & Kim: DONE!
Kris: Err. You’re Kim? I thought you were Kourtney. Heh, that’s funny. Did anybody tell you that your mom looks like the dude from Three’s Company? Oh, look the eyes on those 4 dudes on horses riding towards us are so sparkly. I like sparkly…”

No, I’m joking. The conversation didn’t even last that long. Kim really needs to stop acting like she didn’t have her morals surgically removed to make way for silicone butt bags filled with Satan’s coagulated blood. Because in the Kuntrashian world (which the earth revolves around, obviously), first comes an offer from E!, then comes a check from People, then comes a contract from Kris Humphries signing away all right to profits of the sex tape that will leak a day before their divorced is announced, and then comes a completely staged marriage! That’s the equation for love Kuntrashian-style.

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