Kim Kardashian Is Such A Selfless Soul Who Sacrifices So Much For Her "Fans"
Oh look, it's a plastic horse's ass on a plastic horse's ass.
Seen here in Brooklyn today riding on a horse's back in front of the cameras instead of riding on horse dick in front of the cameras for a change, the head ho of Pimp Mama Kris' whore ring tells Australia's InStyle magazine (via Daily Mail) that she and her punching bag of dumb husband only filmed their commitment ceremony to Lucifer, because if she didn't she'd disappoint all of her "fans."
Kim didn't do it for the millions of dollars or because she can't squirt out a wet queef without a 5-person camera crew focused on her snatch. Nope, not at all. When InStyle asked Kim why she chose to televise her wedding, she barked at 4 assistants to spread her ass cheeks apart and she pushed this answer out of her bullshit hole:
"That was a really big discussion, we took weeks to decide if we were going to film it or not, but I felt like my fans - everyone that has gone on this journey with me, seeing different relationships that I've been in - would feel cheated if I didn't film it. It was something that Kris and I were okay with, and the beauty of it is we get to edit it. It [will be] great to look back at that and see this time in our lives."
Yes, I'm sure the really big, three-week long discussion went something like this:
E! Executive: We'll pay $13 million and we'll give you five hours of airtime.
People Editor: We'll give you $2.5 million for the pictures, Kim.
Pimp Mama Kris & Kim: DONE!
Kris: Err. You're Kim? I thought you were Kourtney. Heh, that's funny. Did anybody tell you that your mom looks like the dude from Three's Company? Oh, look the eyes on those 4 dudes on horses riding towards us are so sparkly. I like sparkly..."
No, I'm joking. The conversation didn't even last that long. Kim really needs to stop acting like she didn't have her morals surgically removed to make way for silicone butt bags filled with Satan's coagulated blood. Because in the Kuntrashian world (which the earth revolves around, obviously), first comes an offer from E!, then comes a check from People, then comes a contract from Kris Humphries signing away all right to profits of the sex tape that will leak a day before their divorced is announced, and then comes a completely staged marriage! That's the equation for love Kuntrashian-style.
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Submitted by beakers bitch on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 10:12pm.
LOL! My sister HAD to watch this...anyway, plastic surgery. I think they sucked all the fat out of a hole in her chin...eeks!
Submitted by Manimal5 on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 10:08pm.
Mani! I hope it wasn't a colonoscopy. That is some far gone narcissism to think people want to see that.
oops, dp.
Submitted by beakers bitch on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 10:03pm.
Ya, right, it took her weeks to decide whether to film it or not. Isn't that the only reason they got married? They're going to throw his carcass away after they've milked this dry.
BEAKS! They filmed her mothers SURGERY! Gross!
Ya, right, it took her weeks to decide whether to film it or not. Isn't that the only reason they got married? They're going to throw his carcass away after they've milked this dry.
And that hounds tooth cape is goofy and affected. What are you fucking Sherlock Holmes? I would love to know what Detective La Toya has to say about this....
What a load of delusional fucking crap. Pimp Mama Kris saw Kris and immediately set in motion wedding plans. Poor Kris didn't know what hit him. Even the wedding has PMK's filthy fingers all over it: rebooted '80s poof - in black & white no less. What 30-year-old woman has that kind of taste?
What fans? You're a freak show honey and that's it.
Submitted by ponchiks on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 3:36pm.
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HAHAHAHA! You're right - the folks in the background are in tank tops and shorts and this bitch looks so stupid with her over-dressed ass.
What's funny is that she doesn't realize most people laugh at her fake ass.
Ugh, another dumb cunt that doesn't dress for the weather. There's plenty of those on the tube in London- last week it was like +50 (there was a heatwave) on the tube, and it was full of people wearing winter boots, fur coats, hats, jumpers. And the smell! The smell!!!!
NO ONE LIKES YOU KIM. GET IT?
Lethal delivery.
MK by arm bar.
I can't forgive them for what they've done to Bruce Jenner. He was on my Wheaties box for godsake.
"I'll take a whack at the fuck myself!"
Submitted by loopygorilla on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 5:45am.
its hard to give a bitch any respect when you have seen her gobble down horse dick, get fucked, swallows and pissed on, on the internet.
no matter how much money she spends on jimmy choo, louboutins, chanel, dior, to try and look high class, she will always be remembered as paris hilton's sidekick who suck horse dick, got fucked, swallowed and got pissed on, all captured on camera.
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Exactly. Seriously, I have more respect for Jenna Jameson. I wish she would stop trying to act like she's some blushing violet who has never heard the word penis, rather than someone who has fucked her way to the top of the trash heap she's currently on.
And why is it that every time I see these whores they're in winter gear? it was in the mid 80's here in NYC. Too bad she didn't suffer from heat stroke and die.
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Menage a NO! NO! NO!-MK
If I could wish one thing on these people, it would be: abject poverty.
and having to do honest, meaningful work for a living.
It is a beautifully restored old carousel, no not Kim!
its hard to give a bitch any respect when you have seen her gobble down horse dick, get fucked, swallows and pissed on, on the internet.
no matter how much money she spends on jimmy choo, louboutins, chanel, dior, to try and look high class, she will always be remembered as paris hilton's sidekick who suck horse dick, got fucked, swallowed and got pissed on, all captured on camera.
My only hope regarding this family is that people STOP caring about them a la Parisite. PLEASE.
The make MILLIONS for nothing. zero. zilch. nada.
Arrrrgh.
When I think of the state of the World and how much people idolize these mental midgets and BUY or WATCH their inanities, I want to cry and shake people.
Submitted by Hekki on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 8:17pm.
Hey, if it worked for big-assed no-talent whore JeLo (who pulled that shit for, like, a decade), it should work for Kum Lardassian.
And I suspect Kris is already orgasming at all the attention the "is she/isn't she" speculation will garner them.
Submitted by Get Serious on Sun, 10/09/2011 - 12:41am.
The fact that this whore is not only famous (and yes, she is a whore - the definition fits like a glove) but got invited to the White House makes me ashamed to be American.
My only comfort is that when people finally get sick of these lameass Lardassians, they will have to face the worst thing they've ever known: indifference and anonymity. It happens to every "celebrity" who is famous just for being famous, like the infamous Parasite who now elicits a big fat yawn and is hardly even shown on gossips anymore.
We can watch them struggle, scream, claw and cry as they circle the toilet bowl of celebrity has-beendom. And it will be BEAUTIFUL. They will try to get our attention, but nobody will care.
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I'm here to kick ass and drink tea. And I'm all out of tea.
The fact that this whore got famous in any capacity is a sad comment about how much our celebrity obsessed culture sucks. I guess all it takes nowadays is getting cummed & pissed on in a sex tape, and lying to the entire world ("Boo hoo, they're forcing me to release the tape I told everyone didn't exist without my permission!") to promote it because she signed a 50/50 profit contract with the video company. Just pathetic. Anyone who is a "fan" of this whore needs to have a CAT scan...
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"There's not enough liquor or therapy in the world to help me forget that..." - Archer
Bitch rides a carousel horse side saddle?
She really thinks she's a Kween. barf.
.
.
Well this bitch got rich and famous for essentially doing nothing, and in this day and age I guess that does qualify as "inspiration".
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"I'd rather regret the things I've done than regret the things I haven't done." -Lucille Ball-sy
Submitted by louise_brooks on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 7:10pm.
brilliant.
What a stupid picture. Why the fuck is she on a carousel?? Last week, I took my 3yr old to a fun fair (whatever you call it) and he wasn't allowed on the carousel because a wedding party had booked it for their photos. It was ridiculous...this bride in a huge fucking dress sitting on a plastic horse for her wedding photos
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Her:"I bought sparkling wine. Let's have girls night!" Me:"I would rather put a cigarette out on my clit." - Slashleen on Twitter
I can't find anything good to say about this person. I know I should keep quiet but I can't. She married a special needs candidate and she can't stop preening about it.
Stop it Kim, just stop it. You just want attention and you look real stupid for it. All most as dumb as your husband looks 23 out of the 24 hours there is in a day.
蜘龍====================龍蜘
(\__/)
(='.'=)
(")_(")
Submitted by Rocket Surgeon on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 8:58pm.
Gosh, you're boring.
I want to fuck her in the ass but I'm scared I'll hurt the baby it's pregnant with!
i just saw their collection for sears and is very crappy, fabrics are very cheap looking, just like them.
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"As a professional actress, my daily duties consist of maintaining my instrument, going on several castings throughout town, meeting with several different casting directors... acting is a little bit different than a "9-to-5," it's a little different.
Brazil: Let me stop you and ask you another question. When you referred to an "instrument," what are you referring to?
Alvarez: Myself. Myself. As an actor, your instrument is yourself"Dr. Conrad Murray's girlfriend.
PrettyHateMachine on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 8:55pm.
*sets reminder to watch*
Hey, twat-head, can I punch you in the face first or do I need an engraved invitation, shit-head for brains?
-------skull-fuckery-------
The below statement is false
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The above statement is true
I will punch any of you in the face if you watch her "wedding" on tv tomorrow. In fact, her big ugly husband owns a Five Guys where I live. I should go there tomorrow and protest this shit.
Where is her husband...somewhere eating glue and crayons?
She's probably wearing that godawful Elizabeth Taylor cape to cover up her belly area and start "is she pregnant?" speculation.
That narsty cow. I can just IMAGINE the kind of shit we're going to have to endure. I'm sure there will be many permutations of the pregnancy story line. I will bet a hundred million dollars (which I don't have) that there will be a fertility struggle and a tragic, heartbreaking miscarriage. Then nine months of edge-of-our-seats coverage of the Second Coming.
The jokes write themselves with this photo.
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I wake up in the morning and I piss excellence.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 7:25pm.
I used to have a turtle. When I called her name Cherepashka she would come from wherever she was sleeping in my house. She loved carrots and hard-boiled eggs, and she always pooped on people who tried to pick her up. But she never pooped on me!
Personally I don't think they are even legally married. Anyone can have a ceremony. How much do you all want to bet they never actually filed a marriage certificate?
Kim could give two shits about this guy. Once the honeymoon and wedding photo ops were done all you see her with is her family.
I also love how Kim has to wear six inch platform stilletos no matter what the venue. I'm guessing she does it to hide the fact she's short and squat.
Submitted by mike on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 7:29pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 6:51pm.
Being pissed on: About a month ago i carried this big as turtle across the street by the park (bitch was just waiting to get smushed , so i got out the car and carried her to the park) As a thank you she pissed on my foot and into my shoe. Judge Judy was right : No good deed goes unpunished.
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Yeah, that usually happens (I'm big on aiding turtles crossing the road). It's either a defensive measure or stress-induced. The trick is to hold them away from you, and hold them vertically (so that the shell is perpendicular to the ground).
Good for you, btw.
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Ha! My niece was visiting a few summers ago, her first time as an "adult" in my home, and on the way to the local park, we saw a turtle struggling across the road. I think it was a slider, can't remember. Anyway, my niece loves critters and doesn't get to see much action where she lives, so this was exciting for her. She asked to get out of the car and go help the turtle, and I said sure. She rushed over to pick it up, and it opened its mouth wide and hissed at her. She shouted "Fuck YOU!" and got back in the car, all pissed off. (This was the first time I'd ever heard my niece use foul language of any sort.) I still laugh about that. You can take the girl out of New Jersey, as the saying goes.
i don't apologize. i hope the entire kartrashian family dies (except the little kid) in a plane crash. i loathe them. useless talentless twats. what is wrong with people that they made them rich and famous????
Hope they sterilized the pony before some unsuspecting child climbed on.
Submitted by mike on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 7:29pm.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 6:51pm.
I love that you guys do this too! This is actually one of the questions on my "what I think should be on a marriage application" list. Along with chunky or creamy peanutbutter lol. Yeah..i'm strange.
Dude, it felt like 80 degrees in Dumbo today. Why is this trick wearing a damn cape and knee-high boots? The people around her are wearing summer clothes. Fashion victim
Farty, it couldn't be STD. That's stinky turtle doody, not pee. Silly Farty!
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 6:51pm.
Being pissed on: About a month ago i carried this big as turtle across the street by the park (bitch was just waiting to get smushed , so i got out the car and carried her to the park) As a thank you she pissed on my foot and into my shoe. Judge Judy was right : No good deed goes unpunished.
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Yeah, that usually happens (I'm big on aiding turtles crossing the road). It's either a defensive measure or stress-induced. The trick is to hold them away from you, and hold them vertically (so that the shell is perpendicular to the ground).
Good for you, btw.
That turtle i rescued was big as fuck. Like toiletseat kinda big. And it pissed about a gallon. It burned on my foot. Maybe an STD.
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Well, aren't you just the cosmopolitan Queen Bee of Cuntsville? No, I'm sorry, of "Cuntropolis". Please excuse us in all of our inbred grandpa fucking glory. Karen Flatts, 09/21/11
Submitted by One-trick Pony on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 7:14pm.
Oh. That is...unfortunate. She's so small framed that she can't gain an ounce without it showing. But the wig- really??? With her money you would think she could get a nice human hair lace front. That looks like she got it at Spirit Halloween Store on November 1st.
Farty, I do that, too! I rescued a turtle who had such pretty colors on his/her tail. I think it's a tail. I don't think it's a stinger. Maybe a butt horn. Anyshell, it was a pretty turtle about to get run over.
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www.charitywater.org
www.theanimalrescuesite.com
www.modestneeds.org
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 6:39pm.
mike, I didn;t know that! Arrrgghh...I don't want her representing Hollywood! WHY?
Here's the ad. It's apparently not new (they started airing it in late 2010). As I said, I don't watch much tv.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Iey7_N_mEx4&feature=youtube_gdata_player
OT: Check this out, guys:
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/tvshowbiz/article-2046954/Now-thats-Bad-Chris...
What a goddamn mess.
The Kardashian's are the living embodiment of the famous Dorothy Parker line:
"If you want to know what God thinks of money, just look at the people he gave it to."
Seagulls can be very pesky! I'm sorry for all of those who may have been victimized by them at one time or another.
However, this "potty-mouth" pee and poo (forgive me, Jesus) humor around tonight here is filthy!
I do love watching "Bananas" on my local Christian channel, it's so family-friendly and the comedians take time to honor God. This program proves that vulgarity is not a necessary element in a wonderful comedy routine!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z8b50vf0AKw
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=M9q87i2xDzQ
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OAWBYiWgJto
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"Jesus in, Devil out, Jesus in, Devil out."
"Butterflies wings clap, and wow, beautiful burning cheeto dust and because of the hot sad boot slaps OK!"
Submitted by parissucksliterally on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 6:39pm.
btw, did you see last night I posted you were right about Rusty? I don't want to get all into it, it is in last night's OP if anyone is wondering what I am talking about.)
I was pretty sure but didn't really think it was a big secret - I'd assumed he'd been open with some people about it. I'd just put two and two together because he was an older guy from SoCA who seemed pretty literate.
As for his reason, whatever - no skin off my nose.
Submitted by Uncle Brain-fart on Sat, 10/08/2011 - 6:51pm.
Being pissed on: About a month ago i carried this big as turtle across the street by the park (bitch was just waiting to get smushed , so i got out the car and carried her to the park) As a thank you she pissed on my foot and into my shoe. Judge Judy was right : No good deed goes unpunished.
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Aww, that is very kind of you and I admire you for that. I'm sure the turtle did to, but the stress of the situation got the better of him/her.
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Lie To Me