LeAnn Rimes Yapping About The Only Thing She Yaps About

October 7, 2011 / Posted by:

The bitch who puts the twit in Twitter is tired of you gossiping putas saying that she’s so damn skinny that you can use her to poke an Almond Joy out of a vending machine and has had it with her haters sending the ASPCA to her house after reporting that they’ve witnessed a malnourished pony shuffling around the premises. LeAnn Rimes is sooo sick of you going on and on about her weight that she’s going to go on and on about her weight. Maybe she’s trying that reverse psychology shit on us hos.

But the thing is, during an interview with The Associated Press, the reporter didn’t even bring up the weight thing. LeAnn did. LeAnn’s mouth shat out a broken record when she said that she’s not anorexic and doesn’t have an eating disorder. LeAnn simply has the body of a Halloween skeleton decoration, because her mouth is too busy farting about her weight to eat and her fingers are too busy shooting out words about her weight to pick up food. And “the divorce” and “working” are also to blame. Here’s the word bile that trickled off of LeAnn’s tongue about the only thing she talks about.

AP: Celebrity and fame has changed since you first became famous as a teenager. Now you’re followed by paparazzi and the press focuses on your marriage.

Rimes: It’s interesting. I was told when I was little I couldn’t have an opinion because you want everyone to buy your record and like you. I’m not gonna apologize for who I am and what I’ve gone through. We all are human. I’ve learned you just don’t know what another person has gone through. … People don’t see that. You know, I went through all I’ve gone through in the last few years and I was going through a divorce and I couldn’t get out of bed, and so I gained 10 pounds and then I lose 10 pounds because now I’m moving around and I’m working and you know, I don’t stop and no one sees that (weight loss) actually can happen like naturally. It’s a natural progression of life. It has to be some big deal and some issue so I’m glad there are people out there that are smarter than that and they don’t buy into it.

When LeAnn is waiting in an office waiting room and the receptionist asks her if she wants some water, she pulls her head out of the Twitter bird’s ass and screams, “WATER?! Why do you think I need water? Are you saying that I need nourishment?! I’m not anorexic! Leave me alone! I just ate water two days ago! Stop it! I’m natural! I’m human! I have feelings! How dare you, you Falkor racist! Why is the room spinning? Why do I feel weak? Oh, it’s because I haven’t Tweeted in the past 5 seconds and I’m going through Tweetdrawls! You did this to me! And stop looking at me like you’ve never seen someone wear a bikini in an office waiting room! ”

LeAnn freaks out about her weight on her own, so I’m not even going to touch that anymore. But my favorite part is when she said that she couldn’t get out of bed during her divorce. Bitch, don’t act like the real reason you couldn’t get out of bed is because it’s kind of impossible to roll off of a mattress when you’ve got a gut full of Eddie Cibrian’s married dick.

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