Hot Slut Of The Day!

This Getting It In Granny was supposed to get stamped with the Hot Slut title yesterday, but a flasher squirrel and his lots ‘o nuts got in the way, and in the Dlisted world squirrel nuts top car sexin’ memaws (I know that image is just a dollop of whipped YES on top of your coffee).

This is 71-year-old Rita Daniels and if you couldn’t already tell from her freshly fucked hair, that glistening twinkle of an orgasm in her eyes and a smile that says her nose was just smashed up against a backseat while her nana punane (punana?) was smashed up against a peen, she just got boned in a Buick before this mug shot of glamour was taken. The story, that I hope to reenact when I’m 71, started in a bar in Michigan one night when Miss Rita strolled in looking to fill her wild body with some booze and follow it up with a COCKtail chaser if you know what I mean. Miss Rita prowled the bar like a geriatric cougar with a bad back (but a good coochie) and set her eyes on her boy toy for the night 54-year-old Tim Adams who looks like this. Just ignore the facial expression that is sponsored by weak Viagra and cold regret:

Since nothing speeds up the horny like whiskey, Miss Rita grabbed Tim’s hand and took him back to her place. And by her place, I mean a 2002 Buick Regal (with a license plate that reads “DIVA145” YAAAASSSSSS!) parked in front of a restaurant. Miss Rita hiked up her skirt, pulled her bloomers to the side and rode that young-ish buck dick so hard that the windows fogged up with a layer of hot lust (smelled like Icy Hot lube, burnt Malt-O-Meal, Fixodent, limburger cheese, beer-braised beef and Jean Nate-scented Spanish Fly). Just when Miss Rita was starting to howl like her doctor just waived her Medicare copay, some jizz-blocker had to call the cops. The prudish assholes said that Miss Rita and Tim were doing car sex in front of a restaurant where a 10-year-old boy was eating. Seriously, children fuck up everything!

When the cops asked Tim what he was doing, he obviously shot back with: “I’m fucking this chick!” Technically, Rita is a hen, but I’m sure she’ll take the “chick” comment today, tomorrow and every other day. Miss Rita and Tim were arrested for indecent exposure and being drunk in public and were taken to jail.

Ole’ girl got arrested and Tim probably knocked her hip out of place with one long thrust to the side and she don’t even mind. My hero.

via The Smoking Gun