In the past few months, Ryan Reynolds’ peen has dipped into a little Sandra Bullock, then some South African model type (I think), then some ex-wife ScarJo, then some Charlize Theron and now it has landed on the white paper plate of unseasoned mashed cauliflower named Blake Lively. Blake Lively is fresh off of stabbing the vulnerable heart of Leonardo DiCaprio and she’s sort of in between relationships set up by her publicist so she figured why not pass the time by passing her poon along the biceps on Ryan’s dick. And yes, you know Ryan has biceps on his dick.
Hollywood Life says that at a Radiohead concert in NYC last week, Ryan was with ScarJo when he ran into his Green Lantern co-star Blake. Blake and Ryan started mumbling to each other and learned that they were both going to be in Boston for the weekend. Ryan is shooting some movie there and Blake was going to some cooking event. They rode the Acela train together and later rode on each other all weekend at his apartment in Back Bay (the sex tape can be called Backdooring Blake in Back Bay). Ryan took Blake to the train station at 5am on Monday morning and said goodbye by touching her tonsils with his tongue. The source has all the details that I’m sure you just can’t wait to wrap your yawning eyeballs around:
“Blake isn’t upset or fazed by the breakup with Leo at all. When Ryan took Blake to catch her train back to NYC they were making out and looked really happy together. Blake was wearing a big hat and it fell off as she made out with Ryan on the escalator at the train station. It was really early and he was even wheeling her suitcase for her! He wanted to make sure she caught the train so he waited until she got on.
They kept kissing on the platform and looked like they were a couple. It’s clear she’s over Leo, but as for how serious she is with Ryan? Who knows.”
If Blake and Ryan mated to completion, their baby would look like a clinically depressed premature Persian kitten with perma-squint possum eyes and a six-pack, and the universe would never do that to us! So this is about as serious as Leonardo DiCatchAHo when he tells his latest model piece that he’s not only with her because she booked 9 shows during Paris fashion week. This is just one of those “boning in Boston” things, which is way less hotter and romantic than one of those “banging in a Buick” things. I mean, making out at a train station? Tacky whores. Everyone knows that you really show someone you care by front seat fucking them in a Buick parked in front of a restaurant.