Hollywood is queefing out Snow White movie after Snow White movie and here’s the one that recycled Bjork’s Oscar swan dress (see Phil Collins’ daughter wearing that white tinfoil swan mess on her head in the picture below) and also cast Julia Roberts as the Evil Queen. The only two words that jump into my head after blinking at this picture a couple of time are: A MESS!
You know, Julia’s laugh could put any bitch in a coma so she sort of makes sense as the Evil Queen, but then they stapled my auntie’s white peacock wall ornament to her back and slapped some sequined peacock feathers over her nipples. How are we supposed to believe that Julia can shoot fear into grown men when she basically looks like the fail version of this masterpiece look:
Even the Evil Queen’s mirror can’t with the mess she’s wearing. I’m sure there one scene will go something like this:
The Evil Queen: Mirror, mirror on the wall, who’s the fairest of them all?
Mirror: Do you mean, who’s the biggest fool of all? That would be you and your peacock nipples. Now go pluck yourself, you silly bitch!
Don’t even get me started on how we’re supposed to believe that an evil horse would actually give up one of its apples. You know you’re in trouble when your version of Snow White makes Kristen Stewart’s version of Snow White look interesting.
That being said, I’ll be sitting sixth row center on opening night since I cannot ignore a campy mess that not even ABC Family would air.
Here’s more from Tarsem Singh’s Snow White that stars Lily Collins (as Snow White), Julia (as the EQ), Armie Hammer (as Prince Charming) and Nathan Lane (as the Evil Queen’s henchman).